Category Archives: drugs

What Would Jesus Do?

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Probably bail him out, the softie! Then again, he might be busy taking Dad to his parole hearing.

Authorities began investigating God… in April, and he was arrested on Saturday.

Where is your god now?

From NBC30:

South Windsor police arrested Almighty Supremebeing Allah on drug charges…Almighty Supremebeing Allah, who lives in West Hartford, was accused of cocaine possession with intent to sell.

West Hartford, Connecticut? Huh. I’d have lost a bet.

But wait! Jesus can’t do anything! Jesus is missing!

Missing: One 45-kilogram concrete statue of Jesus.

Colchester County RCMP are asking for the public’s help to find the missing statue, stolen from a cemetery in Middle Stewiacke, just outside Truro.

Don’t worry. A lot of people have faith that Jesus will return.

quiz: what flavour Martini are you?

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To tell the truth, I’m horrified at the idea of flavoured Martinis in the first place. Oh sure, it was a kick ten years ago at Delilahs (I never DID get all the way through the Martini menu, at least, not that I recall…) but when one is a grownup one should not order Bartender’s Rootbeer and the ilk except on Eighties Night. And one most certainly should not call it a Martini.

Nonetheless, this is one scary-accurate quiz. Oogatz! It knows me as well as my best friends (you can tell they’re my best friends because I let them pick up the tab).


You Are a Chocolate Martini


You’re an elegant drunk, who only likes the best bars and the most expensive drinks.

A bit of a cheapskate, you’re likely to mooch ten dollar drinks off both friends and strangers.

You should never: Drink and dash. You’re gonna get caught leaving someone with the tab!

Your ideal party: A posh celebrity party you crash, with an open bar.

Your drinking soulmates: those with a Classic Martini personality

Your drinking rivals: those with a Blueberry Martini personality

Good Ideas vs Bad Ideas

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Good Idea: rollerblading down to the office to pay your dues to the Federation of BC Writers for which you are the new Lower Mainland rep. Gets your dues paid and your workout done at the same time, plus bonus tanning time you don’t have to feel guilty about because you were, hello? productive.

Bad Idea: having two honey lagers at White Spot before attempting to rollerblade home.

Nuff said.

Note To Self

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re: wearing low-cut dresses:

Be careful when you wipe off the sweat. The normal rules do not apply.

Well, they apply. But people will stare. And then they will ask you for drinks.

I post this in case I forget. I got about three steps past the Alberni Street Liquor Store when some guy offered, “Brewsi?”

I walked past.

“That’s okay,” he said. “I’m a snob, myself.”

Monkees Psychedelia: Star Collector

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This is what Nine Inch Nails‘s Starfuckers, Incorporated looked like in 1967, performed by The Monkees.

It looked pretty good, actually.

I have to say, the combination of YouTube pixillation and psychedelic staging is a marriage made in Heaven, or at least in Malibu. I actually have this album (Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones Ltd) on vinyl; picked it up at a garage sale, I believe, along with a couple of others when I was at boarding school, which means around the end of the Seventies.

And for those of you who may have, in some misguided and doubtless drunken stupor, expressed skepticism regarding the talent of the great Mike Nesmith, listen to this song: Mary, Mary, which Paul Butterfield called a great white soul song. He was right.

and yes, I know the video is out of synch with the audio.
Doesn’t mean your ears don’t work, right?