Don’t even THINK about it. Or you’ll be pwned by this cheezy, early Nineties Arsenio Hall impersonator and his ridonkulous DRM rap.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
Category Archives: Entertainment
Dorcs! the hottest trend in footwear (for suckas)
Stolen from The Manolo, who got it from Hilary, who got it from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, here is a lovely CBC-production-values-worthy commercial for that superstar of the footwear fashion world, Dorcs!
And here’s what I have to say about that:
I know many a geek. I know many a nerd. I know many a wonk. I know many a D&D player. I even know a woman who makes her living making suits of ring mail.
But, thankfully, I do not know anyone who would wear these things publically. Do I??????
It’s astonishing the lengths to which people will go to justify their purchase and public wearing of these hideous plastic gnome-sandals.
“They’re fun!” leads one to speculate unkindly about how existentially bleak their lives must have become.
“They’re comfortable,” really means nothing but “I’ve given up trying and my spouse and I haven’t had sex in three years, but I’ve come to accept it.”
“They’re in now,” really just means “Everyone in my Dungeons and Dragons group is wearing them.”
“I wear them all the time,” followed by a raised eyebrow, hopefully begging puppy face means “The scene I will throw having a self-esteem meltdown is far, far more painful than simply swallowing your opinion and enabling me, so what’s it gonna be?”
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Brad Pitt by Robert Wilson
A still of this video was used (much to the subject’s apparent dismay) as the cover of the December, 2006 Vanity Fair. I think the difference between this and a typical cover shoot is pretty clear, and it’s really very surprising that Pitt didn’t reserve some rights as a condition of posing, but he didn’t and his agent let him pose anyway so I suppose he’s got no legal right to complain. I would, however, say he’s got a moral right to complain: is this on the cover because it’s a great piece of art, or because it’s Brad Fucking Pitt, in soaking wet tighty whities, holding a gun? At least there’s one aspect of this work that’s unambiguous: the commercialization. And I, of course, am adding the Brad Pitt tag to it, not the Robert Wilson one.
Still. Cool. I just wish there were a way that YouTube could display it as it was meant to be: as a continuous loop.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Anna Nicole’s coffin attacked by Giant, Gay Squid
From Defamer comes the shocking news that, while inside the chapel, out of sight of the public, Anna Nicole Smith‘s casket was attacked by a cluster of giant, pink, and apparently grief-crazed Squid, who threw themselves upon the coffin in an undistinguishable mass of blubbering pinkitude. Judging by their plumage the cephalopods are part of the Bobby Trendy Posse, known to make their homes near the warm waters of Santa Monica, Miami, and Palm Springs.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
tentacle pornstar name challenge
We here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have recently and painstakingly conducted a customer satisfaction survey among a representative focus group of our readers. Thanks to the participants’ enthusiastic responses, we are now able to bring you programming tailored to your specific needs.
But we’re not going to. We’re going to talk about Squid.
The redoubtable (whatever that means, but it sounds positive and not at all ambivalent, which you would think it would be, if you scanned it too closely) Envelope Filter has come up with something better than a quiz; something better than a random, computer-generated Delphic Oracle, forever providing inappropriate answers to simple questions such as “what is my totem Japanese emoticon?” or “what kind of fairy princess am I, you fucktard?”
announcing:
The Tentacle Pornstar Name Challenge
If you were starring in a tentacle porn flick, what would your name be?
This is far too hilarious to not have a go at!
It has occurred to me that the possibility of crossing Lovecraft references with Porn with Japanese with The Internet might create some kind of geek singularity from which there is no escape, or create a black hole, or worse yet some kind of meme, but those are risks I’m willing to take.
Seriously – I need the entertainment that much this week. Don’t let me down people!
Responses to the comments! Winner gets pimped by an insignificant blog! How can you resist!?!
And in case you were wondering? My entry: Tentacool McJiggler!!
In the name of science, do chicks dig gills? I’ve got to mac me a shorty that digs that!
Put your tentacle porn name in the comments on his site; entries here won’t count, as I have not even imaginary prizes to hand out.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
raincoaster 