Nietzschian monkeys hangin' in a bar, picking up chicks. This is why ARPANET developed opposable thumbs and the ability to stand upright: specifically so that one day it would be mighty enough to post this link. Bonus Squiddy goodness.
Category Archives: Entertainment
Some days it’s not worth chewing through the straps
It appears there are some people who are having an even worse week than me, and I've just been given my ninth (or is it tenth) eviction notice from the Co-op. They're not being very cooperative, I must say. But enough about my week.
As I said, looks like some people are having an even shittier week than me although it is certainly true that if the gutter press were as guttacious as they've been made out to be they'd be camped out on the front lawn oh yeah, they don't have those things in Islington, the front uh stoop? begging for a quote from the children and bribing the household pets with bacon bits.
It is therefore in the spirit of taking up arms against weeks which are both shitaceous and whoreanus that I present the following mindless Internet game. It should cheer at least one person up to know that Boris Johnson has attained the rarified altitudes inhabited by the seraphim and Kevin Bacon and gotten his own game. So to speak. The associated t-shirts are pure graphic gold, icons of both t-ness and shirt-ness that should be copied for generations hence. The Ice Cream of Truth is a symbol that all but the lactose-intolerant can support (and they shouldn't have any rights anyway) and the sound effects are pure sweetness. Ladies and gentlemen:
Vote Boris! Just because you can't
George of the Concrete Jungle
So have you heard the one about George Clooney? Not the Mr. X-ism, I mean, aren't we all perfectly aware that if he didn't Lothariorize Teri Hatcher he should have and if he did she's at least had that much more of George Clooney than the rest of us and bitch should just STFU.So not that one. This one:
George Clooney's Evil Plan Succeeds
On Friday, via an email sent from his publicist Stan Rosenfield, Oscar-winning ER doctor George Clooney commanded the masses to sabotage Gawker Stalker by sending us fake submissions. And oh, how they’ve responded to Clooney’s battle cry — our inbox was indeed flooded with hundreds of sightings, almost all of which were of George Clooney. We’re sure that’s exactly what he meant.
Just saw George Clooney at the Peninsula. He had a mustard stain on his jacket, was kissing a Mexican woman and eating a watermelon.
George Clooney has been sighted in Portland, Oregon! He was walking downtown by the Schnitzer Concert Hall and was wearing jeans with a hole in the knee (guess business isn’t too good!) and a long-sleeved grey/blue shirt.
i saw George in Philadelphia at Le Bec Fin’, a high end restaraunt in the heart of the city. He was very brief in his entrance and I believe he snuck out the back b/c i NEVER SAW HIM LEAVE THROUGH THE FRONT!
I saw george clooney outside the gawker.com offices just a minute ago.
Actually, that last one might be true. [Follow the
link and get] a taste of of the weekend email Clooneython, which has utterly destroyed our ability to grasp reality.
But, like, which would you rather have: reality, or George Clooney? Exactly. Meantime, here is one I sent in:
Saw George at about one this afternoon, turning tricks on Vancouver's Downtown EastSide, working the corner of Princess and Hastings. A couple of hours later he tried to get a burger at the Ovaltine Cafe, but he was drunk and sloppy and they threw him out. Later, I saw him helping a little old Vietnamese lady across the street. He stopped a Hummer with his bare hands.
and sometimes you don’t WANT to know
Searches that led people to my blog yesterday:
curling porn, "And with strange aeons death may die, " viggo mortensen porn, cocaine corner, wendy messner cbc, hooker story, red corvette middle age
Supah. So somewhere out there are several people with unslaked curling fetishes, some random Cthulhu cultists, and many, many sexually deprived, desperate middle-aged keyboard jockeys.
But…Wendy Messner????? Now THAT is kinky.
ho ho ho!
Because it's always the right time for some demented Christmas Carols!!! Here is the collection from the eminent, prominent, and indubitably fragrant PDQ Bach:
Good King Kong looked out on his feet
And he saw that they were large.
“Ho, ho,” he said, “we go,” he said,
“To make some tracks in the snow,
Forsooth our feet are very large.”
Squinch, squinch, squinch.
raincoaster 