Category Archives: Etiquette

Slimeballs!

Posted on by

cross-posted from TeenyManolo, with a bit of editing

Everything old is goo again!

(I had to; it was there)

Yes, GenX’s favorite toy (besides Pong, that is) is celebrating its thirtieth birthday this year. As with everything and everyone who turns that undeniably-adult age, its tastes have changed over time to something more…sophisticated?

Say hello to Love Slime, Hot Slime, Relax Slime (?) and Elegance Slime (????).

Adult slime

From TrendsInJapan via Gizmodo.

Note that the company says these fragrances are “scented to appeal to adult sensitivities” rather than scented to enhance adult activities. Like that is going to stop anyone.

Speaking of which, it appears that Mrs. Bill Murray is tired of being slimed and has filed for divorce. I guess she has no tolerance for middle-aged ennui and reinvention of self? Or she could have just asked him to wear a condom.

In related news, here’s a story about some of my colourful relatives. Expect The Sister to pop up any second to deny it…

At my cousin’s wedding they had little pots of slime at the place settings. I kid you not. In the wedding colours, too. It was floral-scented. All my now-grown and dapperly be-suited cousins spent the entire wedding dinner sticking their thumbs in the little pots to make farting noises. And people wonder why I live at the other end of the country.

Samuel L. Jackson’s past as a Junior Hockey coach

Posted on by

Not many non-Canadians know, but Junior Hockey is the bloodiest. Oh, there may be less blood on the ice, but there is far more in the stands and in the parking lot. My parents, for instance, who, having two figure skating daughters, had no particular interest in junior excuse me Junior Hockey, still went out to every game. And why?

Because they were fight fans, and they watched the stands.

Hockey parents are notoriously bloodthirsty. If William Wallace were building an army now, he would choose from the stands of Junior Hockey and be assured of the bloodthirstiness of his crew. And, in Samuel L. Jackson, this crowd has at last met its match in a coach that will say, “Fuck your pussy son’s bench-warming ass, I am playing Lucifer and Fang on defence and there is fuckall he or you or any creature in Creation can do about it, you motherfucking minivan-driver!”

Can I get an “Amen!”?

Beaver Shots: Harrison Ford loves old Canadian Beaver

Posted on by

Our serial killers are prettier

It’s true, and who can blame him?

Grizzled heartthrob of the Pacemaker set Harrison Ford has admitted in an interview with David Letterman that there is nothing he likes better than grabbing the stick, taking control of his favorite Canadian Beaver (vintage ’59) and heading into the bush. He likes it in the rough.

add to del.icio.us : Add to Blinkslist : add to furl : Digg it : add to ma.gnolia : Stumble It! : add to simpy : seed the vine : : : TailRank : post to facebook

taking matters into your own hands

Posted on by

Married To The Sea

I think this only pays ($4,000,000!) if you’re an anime sculpture created by Takashi Murakami. Whom I love. The best comment of the day on a site that is not mine award goes to shanaisapunkrocker, who says:

My boyfriend and I played a fun game when we went to the Murakami exhibition at Brooklyn Museum: we stood near the cum-cloud sculpture for a few minutes and watched people’s facial expressions as they turned around the corner and realized what they were seeing. Priceless every time.

How to Get Banned from Disneyland

Posted on by

Pretty simple, when you think about it. Look again: that isn’t really Disneyland, but those are really breasts.

Banned from Disneyland

add to del.icio.us : Add to Blinkslist : add to furl : Digg it : add to ma.gnolia : Stumble It! : add to simpy : seed the vine : : : TailRank : post to facebook