This one comes to us from Michael Usinger of the Georgia Straight:
Who would bring a toddler to Virgin Fest?
By Mike UsingerJust a question–who drags a toddler to these things?
The answer is obvious: ask any Aztec. You can’t have a virgin festival without a single virgin! It’s probably a City of Vancouver licensing requirement.
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Sorry, boys. We own you.
Another in our ongoing series of hilarious, sexy, booze-related commercials. Let’s get the Scots (particularly that long-haired one) together with this chick and breed a race of super-drinkers. Imagine if that happened: finally a date that could keep up with me!
This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!
Everyone’s heard of the fashion police (they were even handing out tickets here in Vancouver a couple of years back, but they must have stopped since nobody’s tried to arrest me recently) but what about art cops? And I’m not talking about the Bureaucratocracy that runs the galleries; I’m talking about actual men and women of action, prowling around, making sure that art is paid the respect which is its due, whether that’s busting the kneecaps of some thug who tries to stash his gum underneath the Louise Nevelson or this:
That caught your attention, didn’t it?
Well, yesterday really was National Cleavage Day in South Africa, presumably the only podunk nation/state that Wonderbra could talk into this pulchritudinous publicity stunt. Which is not to say we look upon it as a cynically synthetic corporate holiday (although we do) but rather to say we think that Wonderbra is picking a nation that needs all the help it can get, seriously.
When was the last time you heard of a Playboy Bunny from South Africa? Come on, try. And have you eyeballed Winnie Mandela? The woman’s waist outmeasures her boobage by nearly two to one. I know middle-aged basement-dwelling geeks who have three cup sizes on her, and they’re men!
Speaking of which, it’s time to address the sexism inherent in a National Cleavage Day which includes only potential consumers of the Wonderbra. Surely we should, in the name of fairness, open it up to potential consumers of the Brossiere as well. And among those, there is one clear winner.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen and those of both genders who are less than ladylike or gentlemanly, the best chest in the world belongs to one person, and one person only, and that person does not use a Wonderbra.
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I mean, really. I just don’t get it.
raincoaster 