300, the game! Spartans vs Persians, old-skool!

300

So the movie 300 is a jingoistic, bombastic, cartoonish, homoerotic two-hour military recruiting video. I mean, they say that as if it’s bad!

Some demented and nostalgic genius has taken this simpleminded movie and given it perhaps the ultimate Generation X accolade; he’s made a Nintendo Entertainment System game out of it.

The reviewers should have just watched this instead of wasting ten bucks and two hours of their time. As for me, I could watch and watch…pot, Pearl Jam, and Doritos optional.

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whales 1: Japan 0

Killer whale attacking a grey 

For those of you who are not familiar with the whole idea of whales, here it is:

They are very, very big.

And they are very, very strong, and they are absolutely impervious to the idea that human lives are sacrosanct.

So, should you care to, say, go scuba diving with whales and crawl on top of a mother and her calf, and she sees fit to connipt slightly, sending you and your buddy on an excruciating, nine-hour journey to the nearest hospital, where you mist up as you give media interviews about how beautiful and Oprah-like the experience was, and how eager you are to repeat it, don’t be surprised if, somewhere out in the depths, the traditional clicks and whistles of whalesong are enlivened with an occasional evil chuckle.

In related news, in possible payback for the ongoing Japanese whale hunt (for “research” purposes, remember, said research resulting in such scientifically advanced products as fast food whale burgers) a lost and apparently confused sperm whale which was being pestered by several boatloads of Japanese fishermen deliberately flipped over one of the boats, resulting in the death of a 58-year-old man. At the time, the man had been engaged in an attempt to direct the whale from the bay in which it had strayed to the open ocean. Japanprobe has two videos and the Reuters report.

Don’t mess with Moby Dick.

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finger cymbals too loud? problem solved: crocheted zill covers

UPDATE: “Fans” tag added. Click through to the comments for a classic example of the pathology.

zills, yo, nekkid as God and Allah intended 

From the department of WTF comes these step-by-step instructions for making your own finger cymbal covers for the pampered, crocheting bellydancer that lives deep in your soul.

Now, it may surprise you to know that I have bellydanced; I would not characterize myself as a bellydancer any more than as a toothbrusher, but I’m better than a beginner even if that damn reverse camel still throws my back out (and I defy anyone to maintain a good seat on a reversing camel without damaging one vertebra, or at least snapping the elastic on it).

And I have zills. From Saudi Arabia. Smuggled in my mother’s luggage (I wish I could claim it was sewn into the lining of her fur coat, but what the hell would she be doing in Riyadh in a fur coat unless it was protecting herself from the omnipresent aggressive, Antarctic airconditioning, or even perhaps wrapped in her silken unmentionables, but my mother, glam though her latter years were, preferred unmentionables of practical and sturdy 100% cotton or sometimes even nylon, and all the colours of the beige Canadian rainbow, so yeah, maybe wrapped in a pair of buttercup yellow size L granny panties, woohoo, James Bond eat your heart out) or was it in a box marked “Sand” so the customs inspectors didn’t open it up? Yeah, either they have very stupid export customs inspectors in Saudi Arabia or the CIA is using “Sand” as a code word, and given the company my mother kept in Riyadh, I’m betting the latter and the customs inspectors have been told to lay off.

Zills. It’s a blog post about zill covers.

In any case, whether you’re a bellydancer or not, good or bad, the first thing you notice about zills is: they make a lot of noise.

It’s sort of what they’re for.

So we at the ol’ raincoaster blog were somewhat nonplussed and even subtractussed to see instructions for crocheting home-made zill mufflers, it being said that, lo, they were like, so way noisy.

Or maybe that’s just me.

the zill covers, back viewIn any case, the covers themselves are pretty enough, and in a nice, sparkly yarn might even add a tantalizing “you can glimpse the zill, but you cannot touch it” piquance to the zill-dancing experience, or perhaps that is only for those who identify too closely with inanimate brass objects, not that we know anyone like that around here.

the zill covers, front viewIn any case, the zills generally sound quite pretty even if you don’t know what you’re doing. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog can only pray that this twisted genius turns her attention next to something of more practical utility, such as:

  • violin mufflers
  • clarinet covers
  • accordion muffs
  • cymbal socks

Your suggestions?

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quiz: will the Giant Squid of Hogwarts go out with you?

Come on, admit it: you’ve been dying to find out but too shy to ask. Well, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have stepped up and found you the one definitive and world-beatingly authoritative quiz that will answer this heart-pounding question once and for all.

Cuz we’re all about the service journalism here, as you know.

  Harry Potter Quiz: Will The Giant Squid Go OuT wiTh U ?!  

Yes, Squiddy and u will spend your time water Skiing and diving and looking at the Cute Fishes .. but you’ll probably end up being best Friends, after all u cant love a squid who eats Fish !
Take this quiz!

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Hmmm, on the other hand I begin to suspect that the author of this quiz needs to learn more about birds and bees before she goes writing quizzes purporting to answer questions about squids and fish-eating and suchlike activities.

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why can’t we make a display of politicians instead?

A silly question, I know. Who would pay to see them?

Unless it involved something quite entertaining with a donkey and maybe a couple of tame bears, that is?

leonardo da vinci the annunciation

It looks like Canada doesn’t have a lock on useless and mendacious politicians, as the Italian Minister of Culture has approved a plan to send the Annunciation, one of Leonardo da Vinci‘s early masterpieces across the ocean to Japan in order to…um…foster international goodwill and…possibly…just possibly…make quite a raging snotload of money for the Italian government; this despite the very real danger to the irreplaceable 600-year-old painting.

Because, of course, Japan does not have the Internets.

And Japan does not have books.

And Japan does not have secure, online ordering.

And Japan does not have any way of shipping people to the mainland, whence they can make their way Italy-ward. That path has never been trod.

Look, I’m all about the democratization of information and the removal of class and economic barriers to the appreciation of art, but at a certain point of veniality and political expedience you make the survival of art itself subservient to political means, and this attempt to move an irreplaceable masterwork is well past that point. There is no reason to toss this into a crate, however high-tech a crate, and ship it to Japan except to make money and connections in high places.

The art experts oppose the move. Self-serving politicians support it. Take your pick of two admittedly distasteful teams. At least there’s one senator in Rome who remembers how to behave: he’s chained himself to the pillars of the Uffizi until the shipment is cancelled.

An Italian senator chained himself to a column near the gates of the Uffizi museum Monday to protest the loan of Leonardo da Vinci‘s “Annunciation” for a show at Japan’s National Museum in Tokyo.

The “Annunciation” is one of Leonardo‘s early works, painted between 1472-1475 when the master was in his early 20s. It depicts the archangel Gabriel revealing to the Virgin Mary that she is pregnant.

The 15th-century masterpiece will be shown in Tokyo from March 20 through June 17 as part of “Italian Spring,” a series of events promoting Italian culture and products.

In protesting the loan, Sen. Paolo Amato said it exposes a priceless masterpiece to unnecessary risk and belittles its significance by using it in a commercial event…

Acidini also said the box carrying the painting was safe and equipped with special sensors that signal alterations in the conditions or internal crashes. The system has to be switched off during the flight but can be used to monitor the painting during road transportation…

Because nothing bad ever happens in-flight.

If you can’t bloody well afford to go to the Uffizi and see the work where it is, you shouldn’t demand that it be shipped over the ocean just so you can eyeball it, particularly when there are giclee prints that the average post-prandial eye can’t distinguish from original vision in the first place.

If you can travel, do. If you can read, do. If you can write to Rutelli and say your piece, in whatever language, I encourage you to do so. The solid reassurances he’s given that the crate will be monitored add up to nothing more than an elaborate, “When something goes wrong we’ll be the first to know!” and when has this ever been enough, when dealing with politicians looking for the main chance?

Dick Cheney has a pacemaker: you don’t see him relying on a stethoscope.

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