The Booty Call of Cthulhu

Carrying on from our infamous Cthulhu Porn post (warning: CTHULHU GOATSE, THE ULTIMATE EVIL), we present the following. In case you read The Dunwich Horror, extrapolated (as is your wont) from the circumstances surrounding the conception of Wilbur Whatley, and wondered what kind of woman would do the dirty with Mister Big Himself, Cthulhu.

Behold:

The Booty Call of Cthulhu

It explains so very much.

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Drinking Out of Cups, Lovin’ the Seahorses

Hey, who doesn’t love the seahorses? You don’t love seahorses? Yeah? Well, fuck you.

via Buzzfeed

Tea Parties of the Damned!

Sharky Tea Infuser

Here is another in the growing collection of designer housewares from the House of Nyarlathotep. Sure to be popular with all the Australians on your list, this dandy little item is most compelling when dispersing fragrant, uncaffeinated, nutritious hibiscus tea.

Note the beautiful and oh-so-fitting colour trails.

We’ve obtained an exclusive interview with Tea Master Qin-T, of the House of Nyarlathotep, and here’s what he has to say about his innovative and stylish creation:

Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll brew this cuppa for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad tea. The Agony of the Leaves. Not like going down the parlour brewin’ Earl Grey and Orange Pekoe. This tea, you swallow whole. Little shakin’, little slurpin’, an’ down it go. And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your Vitamin C levels, put all your electrolytes on a metabolically balanced basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my alkalinity a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll brew it for three, but I’ll add lemon, and I’ll add honey, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay healthy, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on Nestea the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many confirmed bachelors on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the buds, the leaves, the whole damn thing.

Crystal Clear

funny pictures of cats with captions

awwwwww, cute overload!

Soup’s On!

Married To The Sea