As if there was ever any doubt.
Cringe, fanboys, in naked horror before the awesome power of the Blendtec blender as it pulverizes the holy Pad of glory.
As you can see, the first challenge is getting it to fit in the blender. After that, it’s just a matter of RPMs over APIs.
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Yep, that’s the way this scam works.
Every downturn in the economy causes several things. Maybe even more than several. But the one that annoys me because it shows that not even people who are paid to write and get printed on actual physical paper have anything even approaching an institutional or professional memory:
The fact that every frakking newspaper on the planet comes out with the same faux-callow retread: OMG, Post-Secondary Schools Are Like Totally Ripping Off the Unemployed.
Yes.
Of course.
It’s what they’re for.
Far too many of them anyway, and if you doubt that, you can take a quick browse through Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream.
Which doesn’t make my decision to apply to grad school any smarter or dumber than before, for lo, I am a terrible snob, and I wouldn’t go to some podunk Potemkin College. There are only three schools in the world who seem to be offering the opportunity I’m looking for: one in the UK whose name I can’t remember, Stanford, and Simon Fraser University, which happens to have the new school of Communication, Arts and Technology just about a ten minute walk from my apartment.
And of these, SFU is the greatest, because it’s the most wide-open, the most affordable, and smack-dab in the middle of a community to which I am connected up the proverbial wazoo. I’m not connected to them literally up the wazoo because I don’t like them that way, okay? Okay.
I’ve been told that Stanford has a program for deserving people from out of the country with whom they want to work, and I’d like to think I’m one of those people, they just don’t know it yet. And the UK would be nice, and I’m pretty sure I could use BoJo’s webguru as a reference, and I can easily get an EU passport, what with having been born in France and so on. And god knows, I haven’t got enough paperwork in my life, so here goes a round of rooting through online prospecticusses and presumably interviewing, because when you’re the scholarship applicant, they’re not gonna take a shot in the dark: they want to look in your actual eyes and see if the retinas match with anyone on the Ten Most Wanted list.
Especially if you’ve indicated a preference for distance learning, a desire to collect professors’ home addresses, and you’ve listed a cabin in Montana as your address.
As if that weren’t enough, I’ve also taken on a major role with the Social Media Club of Vancouver, and I’m applying for more paid blogging gigs, as well as upping my post frequency on True/Slant.
Which is basically all my posts tagged WorkLife Balance are ALSO tagged Speculative Comedic Fiction.
Next up, figuring out how to apprentice myself to this guy. I spent a significant part of last year trying to convince local hotels this would be a good idea in advance of the Olympics, to no avail. Obviously, the man has mad hotel-persuasion skillz.
Promises: hmmm, isn’t that the name of a rehab center?
Cross-posted from The Shebeen Club to get some more bangs for my bucks. To get the most bangs for your bucks, you should buy me drinks on a day I’ve just broken up with someone.
But there…I’ve said too much.
Interested in writing crime fiction or mystery novels but feeling unprepared for conveying the fine details of investigation and forensics? Join Chris Mathieson, Executive Director of the Vancouver Police Museum, as he introduces you to policing and the forensic sciences. Bring your questions, and he’ll do his best to answer them.
The Vancouver Police Museum is an independent non-profit organization and registered charity dedicated to telling the history of lawlessness and law enforcement in Vancouver. It also happens to be housed in Vancouver’s former city morgue and Analyst’s lab. In addition to its many popular programs for children, it also offers adult oriented tours on the history of vice crime (Sins of the City) and has recently announced a workshop series called “Forensics for Adults” that explores topics such as forensic pathology, blood spatter and ballistics.
About our presenter: In addition to being Executive Director of the Police Museum, Chris has also been a blacksmith, a philosopher, a university mascot and a neuroscientist. Mind you, he claims not to be as interesting as that sounds.
The Dirty Deets:
7pm-9pm Monday, March 15th, that’s this coming Monday
The Shebeen, Behind the Irish Heather at 212 Carrall Street in Gastown
$20 buys you dinner and one drink, preregistration is not required but please do bring cash. We have the back corner of the Shebeen reserved for us.
See you then! Surgical masks and latex gloves optional.
You’re hereby invited to the inaugural meeting of the Social Media Club of Vancouver. Gurus, Rockstars, Fanboys, Bloggers, Twitter addicts, and those who are wondering what all the social media fuss is about are all welcome.
Who: The Social Media Club of Vancouver in partnership with the Vancouver Blogger’s Meetup
What: Olympic Lessons: a panel discussion of social and antisocial media lessons from the Olympics
When: 7pm Thursday, March 18th
Where: BOB Coworking Space, 163 East Pender Street, ground floor
Why: To review expectations vs outcomes in the context of social and traditional media coverage of a large, high-profile, complex, and geographically dispersed event.
Everyone, from beginners to bystanders, gurus to rockstars, is welcome. Our panel includes participants from mainstream media as well as social media, flashmobbers, bloggers, photographers, columnists, analysts, and corporate PRistes. Stand by for more details; we’ll have the full story as it develops!
Good to know, good to know. Particularly as I’m spending a significant amount of my not-free time looking up and applying to radically progressive grad programs in social media for social change, which leaves me approximately three choices on Planet Earth as far as I can see: Leeds (which I cannot afford), Stanford (which I cannot afford), or SFU’s new school of Technology, Communication and Arts which I also can’t afford but which is about a half a mile from my apartment and where I’d have the inside line on scholarships, bursaries, research dollars, and have pre-existing connections up the wazoo in the community that I’ll need when it comes time to do research, which is kinda the whole point of doing the degree in the first place. Then again, I may be teaching at UBC later on this year, and that generally comes with free tuition, so that’s something. Still, they have nothing like what I’m looking for.
But aside from what I’m looking for (for what I’m looking? Don’t try to tell me that’s correcter; do I look like I was borned yesterday? Hell no, and particularly not before I’ve had my coffee) what I’m actually expecting is something like this, only with chubby, pasty nerds instead of princes:
And, in case I get into a UK university and figure out a way to pay for it, I’m way ahead. After all, I’ve already got the socialization manual:
raincoaster 