For some things, my friends, there are no words. The soulless perversions, both polymorphous and (shockingly) amorphous, of the cosmic aberration which is Cthulhu know bondage neither in space nor in time, nor in any other dimension either dreamed or measured.
Here, my friends, is proof. Cover your eyes and turn away, rather than click on and be damned.
Here be dragons.
Here be Cthulhu Goatse: Continue reading
Do you like big, bouncing, black balls, all glistening wet and tumbling all over one another? Thousands and thousands of big, bouncing, black balls? Well, have we got some hawt pix for you!
Yes, 400,000 big black balls, bouncing all over one another in the bright sunlight. Don’t say we don’t come through on our promises around these parts.
It seems that the reservoir water on which LA depends has such a high bromide content that exposure to sunlight renders it poisonous, and the balls are to shield the water from the harmful sunlight. Think about that the next time you’re enjoying a glass of ice water on the patio at the Ivy.
Yes, big black balls save the city of Los Angeles. It’s like a Blaxploitation flick come to life! Video here.
Zombies in Plain English
Did you know that zombies come from British Columbia? It’s true. It’s a fact.
It’s a well-known fact that the common-or-garden zombie is an unsophisticated creature, preferring the isolation of the countryside, farms, campsites, and small towns to the cramped confines of large metropolii. As with all species, however, urban encroachment upon their natural habitat has led to increasing pressure on the indigenous zombie population, and to increasing incidents of conflict and contact.
So it was that this past Tuesday a zombie was found wandering the semi-rural streets of Langley, a placid suburb of Greater Vancouver, a Lesser Vancouver if you will.
From the Langley Times:
WEB EXTRA: Dead man wandered from accident scene
By Natasha Jones – Langley Times – June 05, 2008
Christopher Edgar Parmiter, 37, of Surrey has been identified as the man whose body was discovered underneath a tractor-trailer unit on Industrial Avenue on Tuesday morning.
The top salesman for Chrysler in Western Canada, Parmiter may have been dead for several hours before he was found at 7:40 a.m.
According to his brother Mark Babor, Parmiter was involved in a low-speed crash involving just his car, a red 2008 Viper, in the area of Fraser Highway and the 208 Street causeway.
His car sustained only minor damage and, Babor said, an autopsy revealed no physical trauma to Parmiter’s body.
If only he had left a blog behind…we could have had some insight into his motivations. Surely, however, disorientation and brain lust must, as always, have been at the forefront. If you doubt, just realize that in life, he was the kind of man who drove a Viper. Obviously, he’d be in need of brains.
Ah, who doesn’t love finger foods? With my birthday just a wee tad over one slim month away, I’ve been looking around for suitable refreshments for my Friki Tiki birthday party (goth/tiki, you’re all invited! Bring booze!) And here we have just the thing: first up, Lochmann’s caramel-filled cuttlefish from Dr Boli‘s smorgasbord of demented delights:
If that doesn’t satisfy your craving for cephalopods and/or creepy-crawlies (is hyphenated, yes? no? but yes?), try a few of these, from the kitschy kitchen of Tacky Raccoons:
Bone A Pet Tit!
It’s true! Beloved Time Lord The Doctor (Mk. 10) (which would make an excellent rapper name, come to think of it; no, really, it would. admit it) is sleeping with his own daughter!
In two different ways!
No, he hasn’t been studying that chicken ad. David Tennant, who plays the tenth incarnation of The Doctor on the BBC series Doctor Who, is bonking the woman who plays Jenny, his daughter on the series.
Jenny. Funny name for a Gallifreyan. Honestly, what were her parents thinking?
Georgia Moffett, the actress who plays Jenny, is the daughter of Peter Davison, who played the hottest Doctor, the fifth incarnation.
Don’t they know? The streams must not cross. Worlds must not collide! The Matrix must not be corrupted. Really, no matter what space-time continuum you’re looking at, this is pretty sick and twisted stuff.
Are we sure they’re not all from West Virginia?
raincoaster 