God loves goatse: pic o’ the day!

My goodness, the things that win photography contests nowadays!

God loves Goatse

I guess it’s true what Dave Allan always said: God does have a sensa huma. Jeez, somebody better tell the Republicans.

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pic o’ the day: Newfie iceberg of death!

Newfoundland iceberg spine

First the facts, then the theory!

Yeah, this should really help the tourism industry, eh? Snap above, from the neighbor of the photographer, story below (link in previous sentence) from Canada East.

Marine scientists in Canada and abroad are puzzled by bizarre photographs that appear to show the skeleton of a large mammal jutting out of an iceberg that recently drifted past Newfoundland’s east coast.

The six pictures show what looks like a brown rib cage and spinal column, slightly bent, sticking out of a crust of ice.

But researchers throughout Canada, Greenland and Norway are unable to determine the origin of the skeleton, said Garry Stenson, a marine mammal scientist with the federal Fisheries Department.

“It’s definitely unusual,” Stenson said Monday. “It’s not something that I’ve encountered before.”

His colleagues have been debating whether the carcass belongs to a bearded seal, a walrus or a beluga whale. But without the actual specimen in his hands, Stenson said he can’t resolve the mystery.

“It would be really nice to get a copy, a sample, a hold of it, but at this point we’re not quite sure what it is,” he said.

The photos were taken near Newtown, in Bonavista Bay…”If it was Photoshopped, it’s a damn good job,” he said. “The way that it’s laying there, with what looks to be part of it underwater, looks authentic.”

Stenson said he was told the backbone was roughly 2.4 metres out of the ice, leading him to believe the spine belonged to a large mammalian creature.

But he is uncertain whether the animal would have fallen into a crevasse in an iceberg and then got stuck, or if it simply died on an ice floe and later became embedded by other pans of ice.

“It could be a walrus, for example, that died and is laying on its back and the pressure of the snow and the ice has flattened those ribs,” he said….

“Sometimes a lot of my mysteries never get solved,” Stenson said with a sigh.

Deep One, mid-transitionOh man, I hear ya. If I had a dime for every time I said that I’d have enough to go on cruise to Newfoundland.

Despite suggestions from the unruly mob that this could be the corpse of a bucket-mourning, suicidal lolrus, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are in fact quite certain that these are the remains of the Byakhee that was reported missing over the Plateau of Leng more than sixty years ago. Would the owner please come to the information desk at the Kadathian Lost and Found to pick it up, preferably before the warm weather starts.

Newfies would be ill-advised to mount a scientific expedition at this point. VERY ill-advised. Not that we don’t love scientists: why, the last ones were delicious…

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mine is bigger than yours, Australia

and don’t even start with me, Texas!

Canadian oysters

BC oysters are gargantuan, breathtakingly muscled city-levelling monstrosities from which even Godzilla would flee in terror, tail tucked neatly between giant dinosaurian legs. You don’t mess with our oysters. Our oysters can kick your oysters’ ass.

Especially once I tell them that YOUR oysters need Viagra.

I then turned to my partners and said “boys – we are going to feed our oysters Viagra and other minerals and vitamins that help with erection dysfunction”. They of course thought I was kidding… within the week we had our web sites, business names and a patent pending application lodged.

We then began the process of feeding oysters the Viagra and other minerals etc in glass and stainless steel tanks.

All I can say is that eating a dozen of these Sydney Rock Hard Oysters® sure as heck works!

What? It’s not really for the oysters at all? Well then, who could the Viagra be for? Hello, Australia? Hello?

Funny, everything’s gone quiet on their end. Maybe I intimidated them?

geoduck

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the most powerful communications tool in the history of the universe

and what do we do with it?

That’s right. We use it to put YouTube videos in our blogs instead of writing something.

Here’s a classic from the WaybackMachine.

pic o’ the day: there’s always a hangup

It’s always sumpin.

sudanese maneater snake

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