The sad tale of Harry Potter‘s pathetic adulthood of relentless, asexual underachievement. From the television series spun off from the movie based on the top-secret Eighth Harry Potter Book!!!! Oh, my life’s not worth a plugged nickel after releasing this to the public: that agent is going to kill me! Still, something about it is vaguely familiar.
stolen from Defamer
Sorry about the laugh track; it was the Seventies!
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What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a repeat offender.
Chewbacca, a Wookiee listing his occupation as “co-pilot,” is the prime suspect in a sexual assault on the blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe which took place during the long-awaited and star-studded premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the illustrious Kodak Theatre.
…Chewbacca … sexually assaulted … Marilyn Monroe … in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then evaded arrest, police said.
According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress’s hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists…
Hey, now that I think of it, just exactly what was he trying to perform, and how much will tourists pay to see that?
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Something to do with seeing Ronnie Corbett as Hagrid, perhaps? Or maybe the fact that THIS Snape is even sexier than the real one!
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I stole it from ruhi‘s blog here, so it seems only fair that you steal it from me. If you scroll down in my blog you’ll see it in my sidebar just under the Categories list, and very nice-looking it is, too, if a bit fat for a Dusk template sidebar. Don’t ask me how you design it, I just copied the code. You do the same, and paste it into a text widget, and Dumbledore‘s your uncle!
The code:
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/
4;10742;430/st/20070721/e/HP+Book+7%21/dt/-1/k/4080/s-event.png"></a>
Now, like I said just copy that code, remove the Enter after the d/ so that that part is all one one line, stick it in a text widget, drop that into your sidebar and it’ll work for you. Note that the printing is black, which can be hard to see, like here. You can make your own customized version at www.tickerfactory.com and set whatever colour you like.
Now I shall turn my attention to supervising the Versace Twins‘ production of badges for the Harry Potter Challenge! To work, slaves!
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So you want to know how the final book ends, do you?
Do all the people that the bloodthirsty Rowling has killed off suddenly un-die, join hands and sing “It’s a Small World After All” while Draco Malfoy converts to the Church of Dumbledoorianism, Buckbeak leads a squadron of precision hippogriffs in barrel rolls overhead, Gandalf shoots off fireworks in the shape of Godric Gryffindor‘s right butt-cheek, and Harry experiences multiple orgasms as he loses his virginity to your choice of Ginny Weasley/Hermione Granger/Severus Snape/Draco Malfoy/Fred and Ron Weasley.
No.
How does it actually end? Click here to find out, and don’t say I didn’t warn you!
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raincoaster 