Elvis is the Emperor!

I should explain.

I should explain, specifically, about the fangirl gene. I got the fangirl gene (I think The Sister escaped that particular fate, and much time and cash it has saved her, too, even though the first concert I went to was a Shawn Cassidy concert because my mother was damned if SHE was taking my sister to a Shawn Cassidy concert, but somebody had to; oh yes, and then there was the Starsky and Hutch phase she went through, and the Donny Osmond come to think of it but hey, Osmond could sing and there was precious little in the way of entertainment value in Wiarton, let me tell you OH and did I mention I asked Wiarton Willie to friend me on Facebook? We go back aways) from my mother.

My mother was the original Elvis fan.

It’s family legend, and probably truthful at that (rare in Irish families, it must be said, and it must be said, in fact, by none other than me) that when she worked at Eatons she told her boss she needed Tuesday off, because that was the day Elvis was coming to Ottawa and her boss said she couldn’t have Tuesday off, so she threatened to quit.

This is where I learned my work ethic as well, by the way.

She nearly divorced my father any number of times, the most serious of which was when they went down South for a trip and he did NOT take her to see Elvis, who was playing 20 minutes from where they were staying.

So, that’s where I get it. Apologies to (um, lessee…) Viggo Mortensen, Steve Jobs, Kenneth Branagh, Tony Blair, Bono, Kurt Cobain, Prince Caspian (circa Voyage of the Dawn Treader only), Mark and Jason from Battle of the Planets, Mister Spock, and the boys in The Wolves of Willoughby Chaseand The Little White Horse.

But I’m over that now.

No, really. Despite my occasionally slightly-more-enthusiastic-than-can-quite-pass-for-objective comments on Valleywag Steve Jobs posts. So over that.

In any case and anyway, here is something my mother would treasure: actual physical evidence that stars, or at least Elvis, transcend(s) time and space, manifesting here in a 2nd Century AD Roman bust:

Elvis isn't the King, he's the Emperor!

Quiz: what kind of 30’s wife would you be?

The Women

cross-posted from TeenyManolo and I really wonder how the relative demographics will stack up. According to the data I can find, this blog skews strongly male, considerably more intelligent and educated than average, and with a substantially lower income than average. Ah, my people. At least, all my ex-boyfriends.

While I’ve long suspected I would not flourish in the era, it must be admitted that I love watching Thirties movies, and am slightly addicted to the bizarre hats of the period.

But it’s not a problem. I can stop wearing those hats any time. Seriously. And I’m sure the staff at Home Depot and the grocery store wishes I would.

But now comes scientific(ish) proof, once and for all, that I’d be an absolutely rotten Thirties housewife. I find solace in the fact that so would Katherine Hepburn and Myrna Loy. Oh, who wants to be that insipid martyr Mrs. Stephen Haines, when you could be the fabulously kooky Irene Bullock or the witty and wonderful Nora Charles? They’d both be fabulous failures in this quiz, too.

23

As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

Take the test!

via ArchiesArchive

So what did you get?

Scoring:

0-24 – Very Poor (Failure)
25-41 – Poor
42-58 – Average
59-75 – Superior
76+ – Very Superior

If it makes you feel any better, you can answer for your husband on the 1930’s Husband Quiz as well. Don’t tell him the results; it would only upset the poor darling.

Quiz: What Slanguage Do You Speak?

Well, it’s good to know that I speak moderately good Canadian. Not sure how useful all that Victorian slang knowledge is going to be, though; I don’t know any old people!


Your Slanguage Profile


Canadian Slang: 75%

Victorian Slang: 75%

Aussie Slang: 50%

British Slang: 50%

Prison Slang: 25%

Southern Slang: 25%

Monkees Psychedelia: Star Collector

This is what Nine Inch Nails‘s Starfuckers, Incorporated looked like in 1967, performed by The Monkees.

It looked pretty good, actually.

I have to say, the combination of YouTube pixillation and psychedelic staging is a marriage made in Heaven, or at least in Malibu. I actually have this album (Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones Ltd) on vinyl; picked it up at a garage sale, I believe, along with a couple of others when I was at boarding school, which means around the end of the Seventies.

And for those of you who may have, in some misguided and doubtless drunken stupor, expressed skepticism regarding the talent of the great Mike Nesmith, listen to this song: Mary, Mary, which Paul Butterfield called a great white soul song. He was right.

and yes, I know the video is out of synch with the audio.
Doesn’t mean your ears don’t work, right?

Paging Gérard de Nerval!

As we at the ol’ raincoaster blog understand it, Spring is late in coming to parts of the world, and in such times our thoughts go always to those more primitive, dependent species: cephalopods, crustaceans, and government contractors.

Alas, we do not know, for it is not recorded, what became of the famed lobster of Gérard de Nerval, but we would not be at all surprised to discover it still lumbering mournfully around Paris, seeking its owner and the subtle secrets that only dreams can tell

But what if it’s chilly? Does this living national treasure of Symboilist Symbolist Poetry shivver in the chill miasma rising off the Seine? I shudder to think it.

Behold, the solution:

Lobster Sweater