Category Archives: Hoaxes

Quantum of Dynamite trailer

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Easily the most hotly-anticipated film of 2009, and potentially the most explosive spy thriller of all time, the tsunami of testosterone which is Quantum of Dynamite is the tentpole holding up the hopes of an entire industry. If it succeeds, it will take entertainment itself to a new level. If it fails, all of the major studios, who collectively have invested over three hundred quintillionbillion dollars in the extravagant production, will be sold to roving gangs of Uzbek pawnbrokers, to be broken up and sold for scrap in the bazaars of the former Silk Road breakaway republics (Sharmuzistan, Szatinia, Kraypistan, and Georgette).

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have obtained a worldwide exclusive, procured at great personal cost (I know it was only one child, but everyone loves their eldest, don’t they?) an exclusive print of the fabled trailer for this monumental motion picture. Pour yourself a chocolate milk, shaken, not stirred, and settle down to watch the film that is to change the entertainment industry forever:

Fairy Evidence Discovered!

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Yes, Virginia, fairies do exist.

This is a controversial issue we’ve covered frequently in the past. You will note the comments of the doubters; never supplying a single shred of evidence to support their theory, they deal in third-hand rumours and blatant pig-headedness to support their outrageous hypothesis that fairies are imaginary. It’s a scandal that so-called “rationalists” could indulge in unsubstantiated rumour-mongering of this nature.

Do you think Shakespeare, who wrote about Julius Caesar and the dubious merits of Scottish hosts, would make shit up? Do ya, punk?

Now, from TackyRaccoons, comes clear photographic proof of the existence of these delightful sprites. Polaroids, as everyone knows, cannot be faked.

Fairy Evidence Photo

Not only do we now have real proof that they exist, but we are beginning to understand how they reproduce. In this comment I suggested an hypothesis of fairy generation, and not long after that pictoral evidence surfaced to support my theory that they were not gestated in banal fashion like so many mortals, but instead crawled out from between the petals on the undersides of mushrooms. And here is the picture that proves it.

Fairy Ring Evidence

Case? Closed!

quiz: which aphrodisiac are you?

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Yes, it’s blog filler. No, we’re not proud. You should know that by now.

We ARE, however, self-promotional, so this is the perfect time to remind you all that the Crime Pays party on Monday will feature an auction of Vangroover‘s finest hotties of all sexes, plus a poetry brothel! Come on, bid! When was the last time you had a chance to win a date with a legendary (well, actually fictional) character among others? Eh? Answer me that!


You Are Wine


You are very naturally sexy and inviting. You don’t have to try too hard.

The longer people spend time with you, the more drawn in they become.

You believe that seduction shouldn’t be rushed, you like to savor every moment.

Going too fast kills the excitement. You like to indulge all of your senses.

Beaver Shots: Wild Road Beaver

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Beaver is, of course, the national animal of Canada, and for good reason: who doesn’t like a friendly beaver? Why, there’s nothing so welcoming to travel-weary tourists as the sight of a naked beaver straddling the dotted line in the middle of the highway, greeting the newcomers with what passes for wild abandon here in Canuckistan.

You’ve heard, perhaps, of the Canadian who asked the US border guard to say “Please?” He got pepper sprayed.

And a few years ago there was a lineup at an ATM in Montreal. A Canadian got to the front of the line, got his money from the machine, said “Thank you,” to the machine…

And the American in line behind him beat him up.

Elevated Thinking

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Ah, the French Public Intellectual; surely there is no institution more revered, nor more maligned, than this. Too highbrow for the mob, too refined for a vulgar concept such as progress, the French Intellectual was for all too long stuck in place, immovable, unyielding.

No more.

Now, we present the future of Dada (and, possibly, MOMA too): Remi Gaillard, in his masterpiece, Elevator: