mummified fairy remains found!!!

This is totally legit.

dead fairy closeup

In news bound to rock doctrinaire Evolutionistas everywhere, another set of ancient fairy remains has been found. Assiduous readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog will recall our original reporting on the fossil fairy of Coney Island, which we broke to the larger world several months ago, much to the consternation of the scientific orthodoxy.

Now comes breaking news from Derbyshire, via Neatorama, that the mummified remains of several authentic flower fairies have been located in a barrow somewhere in the countryside. The exact site is being kept secret for obvious reasons; there is no knowing what shameful lengths the charlatans in lab coats might go to in order to erase this stunning blow to their orthodoxy.

The proof is undeniable:

dead fairy autopsy

The 2inch remains complete with wings; skin, teeth, and flowing red hair have been examined by anthropologists and forensic experts who can confirm that the body is genuine. X-rays of the “fairy” reveal an anatomically identical skeleton to that of a child. The bones, however, are hollow like those of a bird making them particularly light. The puzzling presence of a navel evne suggests that the beings reproduce the same as humans despite the absence of reproductive organs.

Well, I’d like to see what the “scientific community” can set against that kind of proof, eh? Try your darndest, you godless heathens! Just look at that photo; it’s even got a Police Evidence Bag and latex gloves! You can’t get much more official than that! Ha! I say again, HA!

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the Spaghetti Harvest, 2007

The Spaghetti Harvest 

Yes, the BBC did a groundbreaking documentary on the Swiss spaghetti farming industry back in 1957 (crappy Realplayer version here), but that’s soooo 20th Century. Here is an update on an independent spaghetti farmer working the family farm in New Jersey, and his valiant fight against corporate Big Spaghetti.

and remember, if you want to grow your own, just follow the advice of the BBC:

place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best

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quiz: how Irish are you?


You’re 70% Irish


You’re very Irish, and most likely from Ireland.
(And if you’re not, you should be!)

How Irish Are You?

Indeed, and if I hadn’t gone out and gotten my St. Patrick’s Day hangover yesterday, I’d be out right now being Irish. I bet I could sneak into the Heather even now…if it weren’t raining. Oh hey, Vancouver’s very Irish in that way, come to think of it. It’s always bloody raining.

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Kiss me, I’m Reebok St. Patrick’s Day Classic Sneaker

Begorra! 

Yes, they are real. Reebok St. Patrick’s Day Classics. Green, with white trim, shamrocks, and “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” on the heel cup.

And a goddam Union Jack on the label. Use orange laces on these buggers and you could start another civil war right there on the sidewalk. If you check out the other model through the link above, you’ll see that the Orangemen are also well-represented. I can’t wait to see that in an updated version of West Side Story.

A sneaker you can wear once a year. The fashion world has reached its apotheosis, people; here is where it ends. Here, Karl Lagerfeld swallows his own tail and vanishes in a puff of brimstone.

Besides, they’re Reebok: they’re crap. Soft, pretty crap, but it’s a good thing they’re only wearable one day a year, because that’s the only way Reeboks would last more than one year anyway.

I’m wondering, looking at these, if they were designed by a Dublin dominatrix who, being new to the business, hadn’t really gotten the hang of the “Kiss my feet” thing yet.

“Yo P.Paddy, is it me feets ye’d be kissin?” Heel, boy.

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Celebrating the 70th anniversary of the Transition of Howard Phillips Lovecraft

Rats, I'm telling you! Rats in the walls!

God grant me the grace to pump out something decent in memory of the 70th anniversary of the death of HP Lovecraft, the power to force the audio player to work, and the wisdom to come back later and edit this into something that makes a helluva lot more sense than it does at 4:18am.

Audio from SFFAudio, via SFSignal. For more audio of forbidden madness, check out this roundup of all available HP Lovecraft audio.

Yog-sothoth be praised! If you’ve been looking for H.P. Lovecraft audio look no farther! We’ve compiled a list of all the story readings and audio dramas that we know about! Most of these “old ones” are out of print but once you know it exists you’re half way to finding it – though perhaps that’s not the wisest move. If you own one of these audiobooks and can provide more details or a scan of the cover art please send us an email. But no copies of the Necronomicon please …. we’re crazy enough!

the library cards of the acolytes of the elder gods 

and now, here’s your Podcast of the Elder Gods:

The Dunwich Horror
(23 minutes)

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