Category Archives: humor

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Posted on by

Happy Thanksgiving, all right-thinking people! Here is a pretty accurate video portraying the differences between how Canadians and Americans celebrate this weekend’s momentous event, Canadian Thanksgiving.

Seriously, can you imagine what it’s like to be forced to give thanks for sharing a country with Celine Dion? The American response would be welcomed as a sweet release.

If you’re in Vancouver and single and thinking you’d enjoy the taste of tradition but not willing to go through the whole Turkey For One routine, then get down to Steamrollers (not a paid placement, neither in gold nor in burritos, alas, although retroactive bribes are ALWAYS acceptable) and buy their Thanksgiving burritos. They’ve got turkey, a strip of cranberry sauce, stuffing, and mashed potatoes with gravy, all prepared without trans fats and rolled up into a reheatable bundle. There’s apparently a guy in Yaletown who orders several flats of them, freezes them, and has one a week all year. I would, if I had: a) the money b) a freezer.

Related articles

Snooki Booky Wooky Looky

Posted on by

 

The one Thing No One Considered

The one Thing No One Considered

 

Yes, that’s right. Another link roundup. But in this case, it comes with a gut-splitting and completely accurate pie chart, and we all know how you people love your pie charts! Enjoy (and if you don’t enjoy, why don’t you do something to decrease my workload so I have time to actually, you know, blog? Thanks in advance.

Tigercatfight!!! (CelebrityBeehive)
RIP Hipster (raincoaster)
Beavis and Popehead (Lolebrity)
I knew David Bowie. David Bowie was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no David Bowie (Ayyyy)
Mutiny on the Blighty! (AgentBedhead)
Britney’s tribble is looking busted (BusyBeeBlogger)
You don’t have to go all Frankie Muniz (CeleBitchy)
South Park has STANDARDS, PEOPLE!!! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Justin Bieber is my hero (CelebritySmack)
The Tao of Snooki (CityRag)
Johnny Depp on top (DailyStab)
Courtney Love’s pearl necklace (EvilBeet)
Conan is hot, wet, foamy (GabbyBabble)
They grow up so fast! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Juliette Lewis wreck (HaveUHeard)
Rachel Ray as Snooki as Jessica Rabbit (INeedMyFix)
The Alien Walks (JustJared)
The Green-Eyed Monster! (PopBytes)

Oh, Happy Day!

Posted on by

Every time a hipster dies doing something ridiculously ironic and self-conscious, an angel gets its wings.

The Hipsterest Biker, RIP

Queasy Rider

Quiz: what kind of celebrity would you be?

Posted on by

Well, OBVIOUSLY!


You Would Be a Witty Celebrity


There’s a good chance that your big break would come from being funny. You have a well crafted sense of humor.

And while you may branch out into other areas, your cutting insight and sarcasm would always be your trademark.

As a celebrity, you would not be afraid of publicity stunts and working the press a little. You wouldn’t take any of it very seriously.

You’d be a celebrity in the mold of Tina Fey, Sara Silverman, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell.

Angels are devils (raincoaster)
Lady Gaga is an ape (Ayyyy)
Survival tips for meeting the savage Naomi Campbell (CelebrityBeehive)
The end of civilization as we know it (AgentBedhead)
This will probably be the most beautiful child ever made (BusyBeeBlogger)
Some fine DNA dodged a bullet with this one (CeleBitchy)
Meanwhile, Gisele is spreading hers around (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Hairless ape has, yes, another book deal (DailyStab)
This is like crossing a Shetland Pony and a Mastodon (HaveUHeard)
Vestigal celebutard, the last of its species, manages to survive (INeedMyFix)
RIP James Dean (Lolebrity)
Former child stars butt heads to establish dominance (PerezHilton)
For conspiracy fans: The Midwich Rockers Approacheth! (PregnancyFashion)

Mylene Farmer: Que Mon Coeur Lâche

Posted on by

We haven’t had a good Youtube in quite some time (days), nor a good Mylene Farmer youtube in even longer, so here’s a nice little AIDs allegorical one (which should, incidentally, put me back on the top of the WP.com Allegory tag page) called Que Mon Coeur Lâche, and which dates from the days in which she was young and pretty and had unfortunate haircuts, ie 1992, as you will see:

And, incidentally, if this doesn’t get me back on the Michael Jackson Haterfan Juggernaut, nothing will.

French:

Bien trop brutal

L’amalgame

La dance des corps

L’amour à mort

Amour poison

Collision

La peur s’abat

Sur nos ébats

Toi entre nous

Caoutchouc

Tu t’insinues

Dans nos amours

C’est pas facile

Le plaisir

Apprivoiser

Ton corps glacé

Quel mauvais ange

Se dérange

Pour crucifier

Mes libertés

Moi pauvre diable

J’ai si mal

Vertige d’amour,

amour blessé

Que mon coeur lâche

Mes rêves

d’amours excentriques

N’ont plus leur strass

Mon stress

d’amour est si triste

Que mon coeur lâche

Mais fais-moi mal

Abuse des liens et des lys

Les temps sont lâches

L’amour a mal

Les temps sont amour plastique

Estelle, Rennes, France

English:

QUE MON COEUR LACHE (MY HEART GIVES UP)
Translation by Paradox

[Some parts of ‘Que mon coeur lache’ are missing in the english version ‘My soul is slashed’, so …]
Too much brutal
the mixing
the dance of bodies
the death of love

poisonous love
collision
the fear beats down
on our frolic

You between us
rubber
you seep into
our intercourse

It’s not easy
the pleasure
to tame your iced body

My heart gives up
my dreams of kinky love
do not have paste anymore
my stress about love
is so sad
My heart gives up
please harm me
misuse of bonds and lilies
times are loose
love is in pain
times are plastic love

what nasty angel
came up to crucify my liberties
Me, poor devil
It hurts so much
love fever, hurt love