Stolen from The Manolo, who got it from Hilary, who got it from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, here is a lovely CBC-production-values-worthy commercial for that superstar of the footwear fashion world, Dorcs!

And here’s what I have to say about that:

I know many a geek. I know many a nerd. I know many a wonk. I know many a D&D player. I even know a woman who makes her living making suits of ring mail.

But, thankfully, I do not know anyone who would wear these things publically. Do I??????

It’s astonishing the lengths to which people will go to justify their purchase and public wearing of these hideous plastic gnome-sandals.

“They’re fun!” leads one to speculate unkindly about how existentially bleak their lives must have become.

“They’re comfortable,” really means nothing but “I’ve given up trying and my spouse and I haven’t had sex in three years, but I’ve come to accept it.”

“They’re in now,” really just means “Everyone in my Dungeons and Dragons group is wearing them.”

“I wear them all the time,” followed by a raised eyebrow, hopefully begging puppy face means “The scene I will throw having a self-esteem meltdown is far, far more painful than simply swallowing your opinion and enabling me, so what’s it gonna be?”

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::