Leave it to the Japanese to make a toilet training device with no sense of shame but an overdeveloped sense of theatre and the bizarre. Stolen from JapanProbe, here is the Shimajiro Toilet Training video. Over at JP they have the actual sounds the machine makes as MP3 files as well: if only this little device looked like the Dora the Explorer aquapet, my day would be complete!
Maybe you have Victoria’s Secret stores where you live. Oh fine, gloat. They’re illegal here, or sumpin’, for lo, we have nothing so much as a dearth of Victoria’s Secret stores here in Canuckistan. What does this mean? It means that inhabitants of the Great White North, male and female, must make do with what they have and, in many cases it means that we must make do with such lingerie as is available from Lee Valley.
Victoria’s Secret supplies, in addition to reasonably-priced suiting lines and blog fodder, and as you may be aware, a diverse range of lingerie, including push up sports bras, strapless contraptions in sizes larger than you’d think prudent, and much more. And, frankly, however overpriced they may be, they all work.
But up here in Canuckistan, we are deprived. We can do the online thang. We can do the mailorder thang. But if we do not do the credit card thang we cannot do the Victoria’s Secret thang in any way, shape, or form.
Except…
Except in the most Canadian form of all. Let me tell you a twofer of tales that will tell you that, when it comes to continence or glamour, Canuckistan will take a back seat to no-one.
cut to Gilligan’s Theme music.
Once upon a time, like last night, mine hosts told a tale, a tale of a fateful shit. That started from their friends’ baby, and that was all of it. The baby knew the diaper was the way to own its’ parents, so nightly she’d divest herself of it’s malevolence. No way! No hope! The diaper shed, no matter what the ‘rents would do. Halfway through sleep they would awake and toss that fateful poo.
ENTER RED GREEN
So the baby took its diaper off for attention: solve the problem the Red Green way, by duct taping the diaper in place. Until baby can handle a switchblade, you’re good to go!
So ends Part the First.
Part the Second: I taped my tits for this?
Surely I can’t be the only woman who’s admired a photo of a fortysomething celeb whose boobs are still perky enough to put out an eye. The secret, as I learned from my in-the-know friend Sandy, is Duct Tape.
I am a fortysomething not-yet-celeb, and I have, as I may have mentioned, long since transcended human dignity. I was also a woman who had to attend an avante-garde art opening in a strapless bodysuit.
I used the duct tape.
Three days and six showers later I was unsticky. I think I have finally figured out the secret to Brandon Davis’ unique attraction: no matter how coated with adhesives you may be, you’ll slide right off his grease-streaming carcass.
Show me the luv, people: the Bloggie Awards: nominatez-moi!
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“I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country.
What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun.”
Raymond Chandler
Stolen from BoingBoing. This guy makes P-Unit look like G-Unit. How to destroy leftover fruitcake? Humiliate it in a rap battle, of course! But this site lists several ways to kill off the least-loved holiday gift, including exorcism, committee, slingshot, and pinata.
transcript over the jump Continue reading
Riiiiiiiiiight, you’re thinking. But it’s true: Toronto, capital of Ontario and of banality, is host to a professional reptile hunter, and yet he hasn’t even touched the ones in Bay Street.
Let’s enter the squamous, deadly world of Josh Feltham, Canadian Cobra Hunter. Crikey, Steve Irwin would be so proud.
Aside from a few sightings more than three months ago, the deadly scaled fugitive has vanished without a trace.The hunt for the venomous snake has shut down the rooming house, sent its five tenants packing and left the landlord, Philip Belanger, $20,000 poorer from lost rent and damage. Belanger says he’s heard estimates that the City of Toronto has spent $100,000 in its bid to find the snake, calling in the police, fire department, paramedics and experts from the Toronto Zoo and Animal Services. The city will not confirm any figure.
“The thing about snakes is they’ve evolved to be elusive,” Josh Feltham, a reptile expert, says. “If I was that snake I’d be having a great time in that house. There’s food around. It can explore. What more do you need … A female maybe…”
Think like a snake; there’s your first step. Politicians and bankers looking for alternative career choices are perfectly adapted for this option, and we should all do our best to encourage them to become cobra hunters. Let’s start with Stephen Harper, shall we?
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raincoaster 