When I asked Swifter if I could repurpose this from the crosstalk thread he replied:
Sure, as long as you tell people that I say it’s where he belongs. You may add whatever other commentary you wish from your own viewpoint, of course.
To which I replied, quite naturally, that my own thoughts on this image were far too kinky to post on a nice, family-friendly blog like mine. And now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s difficult to type with no hands free…
Julian is feeling a little blue today. Won't you cheer him up?
Yes, the world contains wonders. The latest marvel is this perfect gem of a book, the Julian Assange Coloring Book. Just a smidge too late for Christmas, dagnabbit! That’s the bad news: the good news is that this exists and it’s free! Download away! Or you can colour them right on the site with their charmingly primitive digital tools. If you want, you can even email your finished artwork back to the website as JPG attachments and they’ll post them in the gallery. How exciting for you, when Julian himself (oh, are we dreaming? Is it too much to imagine him at the end of a work day, exhausted, pale, just surfing the interwebs for a little entertainment on a long, lonely night in a ten-bedroom mansion in the snow-covered English countryside?
Where was I?
Right, closing the parenthetical, so here you go) when Julian Himself, I say, stumbles across your humble effort. His tired eyes open wide in surprise. He starts in his chair. A Spode cup with the dregs of cocoa in it crashes to the floor. Is this a threat? Is this a joke? Is this a ploy of some kind? but then he relaxes as he realizes that, no, there’s nothing hostile here. A smile plays across his lips, at first tenative, then coy, then satisfied, happy, in on the gentle jest. Ah, that’s better, isn’t it Julian?
Snooki's book heralds the apocalypse. Well, WE all knew that. But we weren't gonna tell you!
Conspiracies everywhere! What’s a person to do when reality itself is unreal? Is there a sure guide in these troubled and uncertain times, when it seems as if there are a million different perspectives on Rashomon itself?
Tom Hanks doesn't know what's going on and neither do I but I've just decided to "go with it"
At least I finally got something useful out of the pointless drama that’s been going on around here lately. I ran the entire Fandumb post through the Haiku Finder, comments and all, and found a haiku. One. ONE haiku. From 4,852 words. This only confirms my belief that this is the lamest, most boring bunch of trolls I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter. From almost five thousand overly-emotional words, only one haiku can be gleaned, and it is my own.
I think Monet died before he really hit his stride artistically.
You’d think a few Impressionist dealers would have chimed in, with a statement as controversial as that, and in poetry no less, but noooooooo! In any case, let’s make an attempt to get back to “normal”? around these parts, with a bog-standard and hardly dramatic list of Hollywood gossip links. I expect Khloe Kardashian’s red hair to be blamed on me any second, but oh well, what can you do? I DID totally talk her into it.
Maybe everyone should just step away from the keyboard for a day or so. Go for a walk. See friends over brunch. Play with a puppy. Make an appointment for a colonic.
Yes, it’s still Wednesday, at least in my world (isn’t it ALL my world?) even though it’s 2:25am “on Thursday,” because I woke up on Wednesday and haven’t gone to bed yet, so there. See? Perfectly logical.
And if it’s Wednesday, what does that mean, boys and girls? That’s right, it’s Hump DayUnicorn Chaser Time! So today we present your delightful visual, auditory, and mental refreshment as a lovely picture:
coffee with the unicorn unicorn chaser
There, doesn’t that feel better? Now your eyeballs and mind are all refreshed and ready to tackle the rest of the week. Remember, today is the first blog entry of the rest of your digital footprint, or something like that.
[ Yeah, this “raincoaster blogging sober” thing sucks. Don’t think you’re the only one who noticed it. ]
As if that weren’t enough, here is the cutest little tilt-shift video you’ve ever seen. Whistler, BC, normally looks something like Toy Town, although not as much as Silver Star does. This is what Silver Star looks like:
Silver Star is not exactly "Badass"
Seriously, it looks Just Like That. This is what Whistler looks like:
And yes, Whistler looks just like this. Also, I hear there are ski runs somewhere around.
So, really, you paid for ONE Unicorn Chaser and if you’re a unicorn, architecture, or ski buff, you’re getting like four of them in this post, so don’t forget to hit the tip jar on your way out.
If your sphincters are still in a knot from the Monday-Humpday grind, we have that video I was talking about earlier. Now, have you seen a lot of skiing/snowboarding/surfing videos? Sure, it’s technically an “extreme” sport, but it’s a sport. Taking place in nature. Without mechanical engines. And sounding nothing at all like the Cobalt at 3 in the morning.
Skiing/snowboarding/surfing videos do not recognize this fact. They endeavour, in fact, to cover it up by every means known to cheap-ass extreme sport video producers, which is a bag of tricks that comes down to, essentially, picking the least-untalented person featured in the video and letting his neo-post-apocalyptic-metal-country-punk band do the soundtrack. For free.
And overpriced at twice that.
You doubt me? Watch one of these puppies. And then watch it again, with the sound turned off. Better my way, eh? Everything is.
Never. Forget. That.
So where was I? Oh yes, about to show you the video. This is the antidote to all those snow videos that sound as if they were scored by just laying electric guitars end to end across the floor of a mosh pit and recording the noise hobnailed boots make when they do the pogo on them. It’s that gimmicky tilt-shift photography that people who don’t know how to make street scenes interesting always use instead of learning how to take inherently interesting shots, but in this case it IS interesting, well-done, and entirely, 1000% awesome.
Viewing full-screen would be kind of ironic, but then if you were a hipster, wouldn’t you be Googling for “instagram” and not “Tilt shift?”
And now, in case you STILL can’t face Thursday, here are your gossip links:
raincoaster 