From MadHaiku, via MasterCowfish:
peer over the edge
and stare into Sitemeter
Sitemeter stares back
Category Archives: Literary
The Sherry Enema Poisoner is Free to Strike Again!
Lock up your rectums!
Charges have been dropped in the sixth trial against Tammy Jean Warner of Texas City, Texas (where else, I ask you?) aka the Sherry Enema Poisoner aka Black Widow Amontillado in the case of the…uh…sherry enema poisoning death of her husband, Michael Warner, rumoured sherry enema (if not poisoning) enthusiast.
Despite the undisputed facts that he had a blood alcohol level of 0.47, that it was obtained through the use of a sherry enema (I want to know what brand…really, 0.47? Sounds like a party to me!) that he died thereof, that there was no-one in the home but the sherry enema abuser and his wife, and that the enema was not self-administered, the case was dropped for” lack of evidence.”
Perhaps OJ will put this on his list of “real killers” to look for.
Now, think for a long, sphincter-tightening moment about the whole phenomenon of sherry enema poisoning.
First of all, given that sherry is about 14% alcohol, which I knew off the top of my head (hi Lydia!) and no, it’s not unusual…everybody knows that stuff… and that there are about 5 litres of blood in the average male…unless I’m drunk myself (never safe to bet against, as regular readers will know) that is about 0.1175 litres of pure alcohol, which could be obtained by absorbing 100% of the booze in 0.83928571428571428571428571428571 litres of your common-or-garden sherry, or about one and a quarter bottles. Which, at $18.99 for a 750 ml bottle of Tio Pepe, is nobody’s idea of a cheap way to get high/dead.
Second, sherry has been known as a deadly threat for years. YEARS. Why isn’t this a controlled subst- okay, why isn’t it a MORE controlled substance? Eh? I ask you that. Even Edgar Alan Poe wrote a cryptic warning, perhaps (from what I hear of his habits) himself all too familiar with the sinister beverage’s deadly effects, although there are no eyewitness reports that he was a particular enema buff, some slashfic notwithstanding.
Third, if he was deliberately trying to kill himself, why couldn’t he simply have done as thousands of sherry enthusiasts through the ages have done and wait for the next morning’s hangover? Believe me, motivation for self-annihilation is never stronger than in the throes of a truly epic sherry hangover.
Not that I would know anything about that.
Fellini’s Catholic Fashion Show
Yes, another YouTube, but a good one!
(Catholics, LOOK AWAY NOW! DO NOT CLICK! NOOOOOooooooooo!)
from the class factotum via the Manolo
coming soon
uh, blog content.
Yesterday I unplugged for the entire day and read the only example of chick lit ever to fully engross me: the quite non-fictional Lindsay Moran‘s Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy.
And it occurred to me: given that most women buy their own perfume, rather than leave it to some guy, why are there no perfumes that are marketed using the superhero archetype? Or the superagent one? I would totally buy something that made me feel like Supergirl or Emma Peel; in fact, that’s how I choose perfumes: by balancing alluring qualities with kickass ones, which is how I ended up with Chanel #19, Allure, and (in my dreams) Midnight Poison, DKNY Red, and Stella McCartney, all of which can be described as kickass yet fuckable.
Is it related that today I am wearing my cape? I should totally make an indoor cape, for blogging, just to put myself in the right mindset. Why should imaginary people have all the fun?
Seriously.
Also, it keeps the tentacles warm.
Fundraiser for Trevor Greene tonight!
Cross-posted from runningthroughrain
Save the date for No Turning Back – A Fundraiser For Trevor Greene
Date: Wednesday September 26
Time: Doors open: 8pm,
Show starts: 9pm – 12am
MC: Todd Battis CTV News Reporter
Band: So Tight Band & Brickhouse the Band
Place: The Yale Hotel – 1300 Granville Street
Price: $20
On September 26 we are gathering together at The Yale Hotel for a
fundraiser to assist Trevor, Debbie and Grace on their miraculous
healing journey. Captain Greene was attacked from behind and struck with
a taliban axe on March 4, 2006 while sitting in a peaceful Shura
discussing how to bring clean drinking water and basic medical care and
education to the women and children of Afghanistan. His survival has
been called a miracle in the medical profession as he presently
undergoes extensive rehabilitation to speak and to reconnect his brain
and muscles in order to regain function over his entire body. Hosted by
Master of Ceremonies and CTV West Coast News Reporter Todd Battis, the
entertainment line up will feature the infectious sounds of the SoTight
Band (www.thesotightband.com) and Brickhouse
(www.brickhousetheband.com). Tickets to No Turning Back – A Fundraiser
for Captain Trevor Greene are $20 in advance or at the door. Doors open
at 8pm. Show time begins at 9pm. Price of admission includes a silent
auction, 50/50 draws and raffle items. Proceeds from this fundraiser
will go to the Captain Trevor Greene Trust Fund.
Items for door prize, raffle draw and silent auction include two flights
tickets and accommodation to La Penita Mexico, wellness gift package,
one room night in an executive suite and dinner for two, dinner for
four, dinner for two, brunch for two, wine gift basket, chocolate gift
basket and much much more.
Companies that have generously donated are: Casita de la Penita,
Signature Vacations, Foundation for Integrated Health, Fairmont Hotel
Vancouver, Fairmont Waterfront Hotel, Sylvia Hotel, Century Plaza,
Brockmann’s Chocolate, Safeway, The Yale Hotel, In Motion Lotion, Cactus
Club, T tea room and merchant, Terra Bread, Liberty Wine Merchants, The
Atlantic Trap & Gill and Tamsen Ogden Photography.
If you can’t make it to the fundraiser but would still like to
participate following is the trust fund information: Captain Trevor
Greene Trust Fund, CIBC Account #39-31137 (Bank 010,Transit 00500).
You can conveniently purchase a ticket using your credit card through
paypal: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/71765653 . If you do your
tickets will be kept at the door the night of the event.
For more information you can contact Valerie Gibbs by phone at
604.992.4697 or via email at vcg at sfu.ca.
For more information on Trevor here is a few links:
raincoaster 