Category Archives: Lush Life

the four Yorkshiremen

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I’ve been meaning to steal this for some time, but have been holding off because the blogger from whom I stole it was threatened right off the Internet by that anal retentive egotist “Hitchens‘ little brother,” not to be confused with his more powerful and eloquent brother, nor with The Hitch, who is far more amusing and not afraid of god or man, much less a snivelling, brittle journalist. I was hoping she’d come back online, but “the other Hitchens” has probably gone so far as to rip up the power lines delivering electricity to her house, restoring her to a state not unlike those pre-Industrial peasants for whom he bears such apparent fondness.

But she’s gone. Hope somewhere a desperately enema-deprived hack is happily snickering into his posset. And drunkenly spilling it right into his shrivelled and dusty lap.

Anyway, here’s four whining Yorkshiremen: Eddie Izzard, Harry Enfield, Vic Reeves and the Voice of God himself, Alan Rickman.

And transcript, courtesy of BadKittyCat over the jump.

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The Cthulhu Shoe

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Cthulhu shoe

Fresh from the Manolo comes news of the co-option of one of the greatest shoe designers in the world. Surely it cannot have been an accident that this particular meme manifested itself at this time. Mighty Cthulhu has penetrated even unto the workshops of the maestro of shoes, Christian Louboutin.

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the Cyclists

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Thank God the Doctor never had to go up against these sinister robots. They’d use the power of their terrifying Supercilious Stare to fry him right into the pavement. I’m pretty sure this is from a John Wyndham story, or at least it aught to be.

via the Vancouverite

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what happened…?

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Some of you may be wondering what happened. I even received a rather worried email, subject line “ONE post???”.

Here, for those of you who were not there, is what happened:

Negroni

1oz Plymouth gin

1oz Campari

1oz red Cinzano vermouth

Well, it happened five times and a draft pint of Strongbow happened once. Negronis are the prettiest of all cocktails, but as I said, they are like playing with God’s remote control when you can’t read what the buttons do. Christian Brando had three and shot his sister’s lover. I had five and ended up drunkenly emailing an Eric Stoltz sighting to Defamer (who laughed at me, thanks Mark!) and instead of flirting with the biggest flirt on the planet, I went into chat and bored him senseless with my exciting plans for my new CSS design!

No wonder I can’t get laid. I ignore Eric Stoltz and bore all of the rest of them.

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Help wanted/help needed

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Britney and Paris

Are you an intellectual? Are you at least intelligent? And are you, like me, fed up with the fact that it appears to be the unconscious strategy of the mentally inferior to simply outnumber us?

Camus once said that it was the moral obligation of the intelligent to oppress the stupid, otherwise they would take over the world.

Now, this may be somewhat along the lines of the barn door/bolted horse scenario, particularly in a world where men are still willing to have sex with Britney Spears, but I have an opportunity to pass along to interested parties that will, I believe, prove attractive to that particular target group while simultaneously rendering them incapable of spawning.

Ladies and gentlemen, via defrostindoors at the relatively demure Bridlepath, we present our first ever Help Wanted ad:

Looking for a tester of a Chastity device – m4w

Reply to: pers-375384078@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-16, 6:35PM EDTMyself and a friend are developing a new style chastity device for woman. It does involve 7 piercing to be done. Once the piercings have healed (6 months) the chastity device will be put on.The device is small and will be made specifically for you. It is a small plate that is put over your vagina with a slit in the center for your lips to pass through. Then there will be three rods that go through your lips and one through your clitoris over top of this plate. A top plate will be secured over top of this (with hole for urination and cleaning). Once it is comfortable and with no health problems it will be secured together sealing your sex inside your new prison.

The final product will be titanium and you will not be able to get it off. There will be no keys. Sealing will be permanent.

You will still be able to wear bathing suits and it will not be noticeable under clothing, but you will never have sex again.

We can discuss financial compensation with any woman that is serious in helping us test this device but please keep in mind that you will not be able to get it off so please be serious about this before responding.

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