Category Archives: music

FOUND: Julian Assange’s Secret Father

Posted on by
Jackie Rogers Jr, the world's biggest celebrity

Jackie Rogers Jr, the world's biggest celebrity

This is truly shocking. While it’s no secret that Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has always had a bit of the showman about him, who could have imagined that he came by it genetically. The below video provides, we believe, conclusive proof that the incomparable Jackie Rogers Jr. is, in fact, Julian Assange’s biological father. Watch and see for yourself the stunning resemblance:

Now, compare that white-hot fabulousness with the diva moves on display in the famous Julian vs John Travolta Dance-Off video below:

I think we can consider the matter settled, no?

And in related fabulousness news, click over the jump for today’s celebrity gossip links.

Continue reading →

Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: Heavy Metal Mashup Edition

Posted on by

No, I’m serious. Heavy Metal Mashups make an excellent Unicorn Chaser, particularly when mashed with Bollywood music. Click Play and trust me.

Iron Maiden vs Dhoom2

There, have your feet stopped moving? Aren’t you happy now? Grateful to me? You damn well should be, you ingrates. Here I am chained to a laptop in the accursed, barren land of Vangroover…

Vangroover, people. Yeah, this is the view

Vangroover, people. Yeah, this is the view

yeah, forget I said that. Anyway…I’ve got a lovely roundup of Unicorn Chasers for you today, including not just one but TWO, count ’em, TWO musical interludes. Here we present a Mexican Mariachi band (there is another kind of mariachi band?) performing that old Pink Floyd classic, The Wall.

Awww. And as if that weren’t enough, here’s the now-famous Boob Flash at tonight’s Canucks game. I seriously think the Green Men may be out of a job.

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

And to make your Wednesday complete, we have yes, another roundup of celebrity gossip links! Oh! My! God! Can you freaking STAND it?!?!

Continue reading →

Bar fight in R’lyeh!

Posted on by
bar fight in R'lyeh!

bar fight in R'lyeh! art by Frederic Clavere

Normally, Cthulhu and his family are charming hosts, but sometimes Junior gets into the nước mắm and the next thing you know the tentacles are flying! It’s hard enough making small talk when only half the guests are amphibious.

Cthulhu visits the Victorians en route to His voracious victory!

Cthulhu visits the Victorians en route to His voracious victory!

“How about them uppity natives, eh? Oh, I hear ya! I totally feel your pain, dude.”

The guest list included only the highest social stratum. Here’s this year’s hot couple posing happily just moments before the melee broke out.

The Whaleses

The Whaleses

I always thought he could do better, myself. I tried introducing him to some of those delightful Marsh women and their cousin, that Munn woman, but it was a no-go. And why? The girl is clearly talented.

Olivia Munn be desperate

Olivia Munn be desperate

and desperate. But then, many of us remember the last big family party, when she and her cousin Ralsa broke up the dance floor back in ’08.

Click over the jump for a roundup of the other Cthelebrity guests. Get your partying in now, people. Remember, the Crapture is coming!

Continue reading →

Enter the HELLFISH!

Posted on by
The fare was unbelievably cheap!

The fare was unbelievably cheap!

and now some Cthulian Hollywood gossip links:

Continue reading →

Can YOU take it?

Posted on by
Can you take it? I sure as hell can't.

Can you take it? I sure as hell can't.

And they won’t even tell you what “IT” is.

My problem is, IT is at home, IT being the task of packing up essentially a three bedroom house’s furniture and stuff and either bunging it into storage or moving it up to Yellowknife in the narrow window when there’s a (long) road up there which isn’t an ice road and besides I don’t even have a driver’s license anymore so How In God’s Name I Am Going To Do This I do not know, but anyway…

How was your week?

In case you’ve heard rumours, well, they’re all true unless you heard them from legendary fabulist Steven Schwartz, in which case they’re probably amazing fabrication and I’d appreciate your noting them in the comments, as one day I may write an encyclopedia of internet drama and cancer-faking mythologists are definitely going to feature prominently therein.

But the rumours about me moving to the land of permafrost and the lynx nuisance at the city dump? Those rumours are true.

Yes, some poor company has offered me gainful employment, almost like a normal person, starting July 1st, which means several things:

  1. this will be a major score for my female friends who want to pick up some clothes free, cuz god knows I ain’t taking anything I can’t fit into or didn’t graduate in
  2. I have a shitload of furniture for sale, at all levels of quality from Oh My God Amazing down to You’ve Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me
  3. I forget what this one is.

Anyhoodle, there will be a party at some point, probably of the bring-a-bottle variety or, knowing my friends, the bring-a-bottle-and-a-sleeping-bag variety. I’ve already handed the reins of the Shebeen Club to Ian Alexander Martin of Atomic Fez publishing reducing my press-release-writing workload considerably.

Before I leave I’ll be speaking at Northern Voice blogging conference and Social Media Camp Victoria, and my newest round of online workshops starts next week. Then, poof! I’ll be out of the Downtown Eastside and up in the land of the polar bear. Where a dinner of (excellent) fish and chips will run you $60.

GAH!

So, before I head off to the wilderness, I’m throwing yet another celebrity link roundup your way. In Vancouver, I could be relatively sure of bumping into one or more of these people every few months. In Yellowknife? Maybe not so much. So, that’s an improvement!

Continue reading →