Category Archives: news

Sesame Street Layoffs hit hard

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Sad Grover has a sad

Sesame Street, that beloved icon of childhood, where we learned everything we needed to know that later showed up in an overpriced book on business leadership, is under seige.

We thought that a neighborhood of loveable, shaggy Muppets would escape the ravages of the recession: my friends, we were wrong. So, so wrong.

In a tearful announcement earlier today, Kermit the Frog announced that, effective immediately, Sesame Street will lay off 20% of its workforce. While he refused to give specifics, he did indicate that the cuts would be made from the on-air staff, leaving no-one immune to these Draconian cost-cutting measures. Out of approximately 140 Muppets, this represents a loss of 28 beloved characters. Who will it be???

Video of the press conference from CNN:

and some updated lyrics, for the fans: originals here

Pogey Day

Sweepin’ the sun away

On my way to get my benefits

Can you tell me how to get,

How to get to the EI office, please?

Come line up

It’s fun to be a grup

Friendly social workers

Will see you now

Can you tell me how to get

How to get what’s coming to me?

It’s an Orwellian ride

Every one will be pushed aside

Unhappy people like you–

Unhappy people like…

What a terrible…

Dreary Day

Smokin’ my cares away

Off my head, here where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,

How to get to …

Um, I forget.

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Stephen Hawking never stood a chance

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Stephen Hawking is so cool he can fly!

Poor, poor Stephen Hawking. You know Stephen Hawking: media personality, author of A Brief History of Time, Lucasian Professor for Mathematics at the University of Cambridge. You know, Cambridge. The one in England.

Why should you pity him? Because his life is in imminent danger!

A no-doubt-soon-to-be-unemployed editorial writer at Investor’s Business Daily is strongly of the impression that the brilliant British physicist owes his life to having been born and raised in the Good Old U. S. of A.

People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn’t have a chance in the U.K., where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.

via TheVanityPress

Let us not disturb baby’s dreams. It would only be cruel. After all, the poor boy can’t help it: he undoubtably went to American schools.

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Yaizu Sidewalk, pic o’ the day

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Yaizu Sidewalk, after the earthquake

You may have heard that yesterday parts of Japan experienced a 6.5 earthquake. This is what it looked like today in Yaizu.

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George Sodini’s blog: the plan

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George Sodini, the LA Fitness shooter

Yes, George Sodini, the LA Fitness Shooter. I’m going to preface this with a great big I THINK THIS IS FAKE. This is my first impression, on reading it and looking at it (one awfully plain HTML site, with not a whole lotta content NOT related to the plan to kill people at a Pittsburgh gym). The only content on that site not related to the plan looks like a thin attempt to “backdate” it and make it look like this was a long time coming. I say either he didn’t do this site and some quick-thinking opportunist who wanted to perpetrate a fraud took his best shot, OR he did do it in order to set up some kind of pity defense. Not only does the emptiness of the majority of the site ring hollow, but there is nothing personally identifying there which hasn’t already been exposed elsewhere. I’m not seeing any actual images of his personal possessions, environment, etc. All the photos but the one of him are nondescript LA shots that could have been taken by/from anyone/where.

That said, here for the record, is the plan page of the site, copied (with permission!!! Look at the footer) from the site. I forget how to look up who registered a URL and when, but I’ll check that out as soon as it comes to me.

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Michael Jackson cause of death

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When he died, Michael Jackson left the world confused, frightened, broken. And so was the world. We looked for answers, and now at last the ol’ raincoaster blog can reveal just what happened. Yes, we are about to tell you exactly how Michael Jackson died.
(stolen/adapted from Popbitch)

Farrah Fawcett

Farrah Fawcett died the same day as MJ, a few hours sooner. She reached the Pearly Gates and God was there to meet her, excitedly shoving a long-suffering St Peter out of the way to shake the hand of the blonde bombshell.

“Hi Farrah, I’m God! I’m your biggest fan!” he said, excitedly.

“Gosh, God, that’s terrific. I love my fans. Here, let me sign your toga…” she replied, whipping out a fountain pen. God giggled.

“Farrah, I’m never going to wash this toga again! You’ve made me so happy, I’d like to grant you a wish. Anything you want, just tell me and I’ll make it happen.”

“Gee, God, I guess I’d like for all the little children of the world to be safe.”

And WHAM! Just like that Michael Jackson died.

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