born to be…

a venture capitalist??? Someone better sit my friends down for this, because the shock just might kill them. I am, according to this test, a born VC. Well hell, spending other people’s money? That’s a dream job if you ask me!

Got to the test via engtech, whom I owe a dinner if I get scooped by some big firm as a result of this incredible aptitude of mine. I said I’d buy him a Segway too, but now he thinks I’m trying to kill him. Honestly! As if I’d do something like that; I already know Technorati rankings cannot be bequeathed, because I looked it up.

For a research project. Totally.

Anyway, Guy Kawasaki, who is a man who is presumed to know something about venture capital, as he’s been in the business twenty years and hasn’t been bankrupted or incarcerated yet, is the fellow who came up with the test, and even should this prove to be as bullshit as the “Which My Little Pony Are You?” quizzes on LiveJournal (the Dangerous one, mothafucka!) it is guaranteed to be entertaining. Take the test here.

engtech got 27; I've got a lock on this job. Guy, baby, call me!In any case, here’s what my little internet graduation plaque with honors or honours or cum or laudanum or whatever it is would look like, if it were in fact the result I got and not the one engtech (who can make screencaps and all that tech shit, yo) did, and it said 35 instead of 27, yo. And if it also said that the big VCs were hangin’ on the telephone, waiting for their life-affirming contact from moi.

If only I could afford a long-distance call!

Oh, and in case you were wondering:

 


Which Fucked up “My Little Pony” are you?

 

You are BITCH-QUEEN Pony!
[Quel suprise!]

Take this quiz!

 

 

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Technorati me!

1812: the rematch online

True Patriot Love... 

It’s that special time of year, the time we all look forward to, the time when wishes come true.

The time when we get to lord it over Americans.

The time when Yahoo releases its top searches for each country. Le voila!

 Canadian Searches

  1. NHL Canadian, obviously
  2. FIFA World Cup International, obviously. And we even know what the game is called!
  3. American Idol Yank wannabe celebrity wank
  4. Rock Star Supernova ditto Canadian rock star reality show
  5. WWE I have no idea what this is and if I did, I’d pretend I didn’t: it just sounds tacky. Everything with two W’s in the acronym sounds like something Joe Weider was involved in, and that just reeks of klass-with-a-kapital-k. Even if he was from Montreal.
  6. Neopets Wholesome kid’s site
  7. Revenue Canada Canuckistani bagmen who give us homework
  8. Days of Our Lives Yank soap opera. But it does take place on the Great Lakes, which is as good as on the border. The characters are all dull and hence, closet Canadians.
  9. Environment Canada Canuckistan is way green, y’all
  10. Jessica Simpson Even Canadians like to watch synthetic Barbies in tight dresses, it seems. At least this one can sing, more or less.

U.S. Searches

  1. Britney Spears Twatflasher
  2. WWE see Canadian list
  3. Shakira Columbian hottie singer/dancer of some talent
  4. Jessica Simpson Overly-produced, silicone and restylane enhanced singer/actress of moderate talent, known for taking it up the butt from Johnny Knoxville
  5. Paris Hilton Twatflasher, porn star, celebutard
  6. American Idol See Canadian list
  7. Beyoncé Knowles former Destiny’s Child, sleeping with Jay-Z
  8. Chris Brown who?
  9. Pamela Anderson Canadian actress, porn tape star, serial large-penis marrying tabloid dream
  10. Lindsay Lohan Started the Twatflashing vogue.

Next year, anyone want to bet the #1 will be “Beaver shots?” Canada wins either way.

Karla upskirt shots any day now

a mistletoe moment

From my homeboys, TBWA\Vancouver

whose sense of humour is so much like mine that I should probably be hitting them up for some copywriting work, rather than just helping their seasonal video go viral like this.

del.icio.us: a mistletoe moment
blinklist: a mistletoe moment
Digg it: a mistletoe moment
ma.gnolia: a mistletoe moment
Stumble it: a mistletoe moment
simpy: a mistletoe moment
newsvine: a mistletoe moment
reddit: a mistletoe moment
fark: a mistletoe moment
Technorati me!