Palin Poetry: The Palinleaks Haikus

New Shakespalin

New Shakespalin

Many and varied are the treasures of the internet, and the greatest of these may be HaikuFinder. After spending far too much time trying to download and run the damn thing (okay, i got the program…and now I need to install Python? And then I need to hack a workaround into Vista, which won’t run Python? And then I need to disable my virus protection so it can run? and whatever, dudes) I find out there’s a website. Paste in the words aye wallah! Your Haiku: dey are fownd.

So, presumably the Python script etcetera exist so you can Haiku-ify top secret documents without the off-chance that Wikileaks will find your sooper-sekrit poetry stash? Okay then!

In related news, it’s obvious to the most casual observer of the Contemporary Poetry Scene that we are not the first to take a stab at finding the poetry in Palinisms: There was Slate’s fictional Palintry roundup, The Utne Reader’s architectonic analysis of an interview, Prospect Magazine (yes, even in the UK, which reminds me, did you see Mike Tyson at the Oxford Union? Oscar Wilde is spinning like a turbine, I’m telling you), and, of course, a year later the Huffington Post. And this book:

Tap that!

Tap that!

And, of course,William Fucking Shatner.

As you may be aware, the Great State and Future Province of Alaska has recently released all of Sarah Palin’s emails (now, Republicknuts, keep your panties on: they’re redacted) for your reading pleasure, and we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have taken this one step further by running said emails through the HaikuFinder, and here are the results [who, by the way, is this “Tibbles” who gets cc’d in on so much? Her cat?]:

Continue reading

Situation Room Normal, All Fucked Up

Situation Room Normal All Fucked Up

Situation Room Normal All Fucked Up

Or: SrNAFU.

As you can see from the above, newly-discovered image, the White House press secretary’s office has been going into overdrive, frantically and retroactively photoshopping people into the iconic Situation Room image in which, this blog revealed yesterday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was invisible because she was a vampire. The female aide at the back of the room was also invisible, since of course she, too, belongs to the race of Amazonian Undead which has seized control of the State Department.

As for the Situation, it can only get better.

hat tip CamCavers

Enhanced by Zemanta

The Truth About Hillary Clinton!

Hillary Clinton cannot be captured in photographs!

Hillary Clinton cannot be captured in photographs!

Oh, the lamestream media has gotten their greedy, cover-uppy little claws on this shocking photoevidence and their appallingly tepid attempts to spin are fully steaming ahead. According to the Daily What (part of the shady icanhascheezburger network, and are we really sure Rupert Murdoch doesn’t have his fingers in that pie? Hmmmmm?) this series of pictures shows that cultist Israelites made Hillary Clinton vanish from a photo she was in.

Au contraire, mister cheezburger, au contraire.

What it actually proves is that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (aka Hillary Rodham, aka Hillary Rodham Clinton) cannot, outside of the carefully controlled environs of the White House PR Department, be photographed. Obviously, the top photo is the original which was mistakenly sent out on the wires, and the below, now-iconic image, is the official White House version, sent out only after artful photoshopping to make the S of S visible on film, which she normally is not.

As for conclusions, there can be only one, and it can come as no surprise to anyone who’s followed this woman’s career over the past two decades.

Hillary Clinton is of the Undead.

They took images of Ye Xiangting with other people. They were stunned when the other people showed up in the computer images, but not Ye. Ye Xiangting seemed to have “disappeared” from the photos. In the end, the staff had to give up.
——————————————————————————————
…Maybe he’s a vampire? vampire

Posted by Jackie  on  Fri Jan 13, 2006  at  01:56 PM


No, Jackie, I don’t think he is.Since he is Chinese, if he was a vampire, he would bounce up and down or across the countryside like a kangaroo. There’s no mention of that in the article.

Logical.

Enhanced by Zemanta

I for one do NOT welcome our same old Robotic Overlords

Jack Layton is the Redshirt

Jack Layton is the Redshirt

Once Jack Layton figured out the fundamental problem with his campaign wardrobe, it didn’t take him long to move into Stornoway. Clothing doesn’t make the man, but it DOES make the vote margin, it would seem.

Speaking of superficiality, click over the jump for today’s politically-themed celebrity links. Don’t worry, politics is just showbiz for ugly people, right?

Continue reading

Osama bin Laden vs Donald Trump

Osama Bin Laden has his paperwork in order

Osama Bin Laden has his paperwork in order

Once Birthered, twice shy. Barack Obama is taking NO CHANCES this time around, thankyouverymuch Donald Trump!