Well and here I was, thinking OGMD wasn’t going too well today. Then I checked the stats.
Not only have I gotten the linkie luv from Liberty Forum, but I’ve also been linked to by nastyfuckingporn.com. May I note as well that this has resulted in a $5 increase in my Pingoat Blog Worth.
My mother would be so proud!
No: you don’t know my mother. She would be!
from Fark. This is just too amusing not to post. If you don’t get the joke, something tells me you’ve got that Y-chromosome mutation.
Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
More here.
Crushing all in its path, Blackzilla has taken giant strides to the head of the raincoaster blog, with over 100 google hits over the past two days. Darren and Joanne? Ovah. Beautiful Agony? Suffering. Mad mentos and diet coke Scientists? Sputtering out.
The upcoming newcomers, all of whom have had their thunder stolen by my several-days-old Blackzilla posting, include T.W.A.T. in the Air, which several clueless commentors failed to identify as a joke, thus making themselves into punchlines; the Canadian patriotic post Beaver Shots (inexplicable; whodathunk Canadians would be so popular, eh?); and We Are All Gwyneth, for who among us is not, really?
I am obviously out of the dirty word waiting to happen loop here. Valleywag‘s published a list of 83 words you can’t communicate on Verizon Wireless, and sure enough most of them are pretty obvious: fuck, dago, spic, spankthemonkey (although it doesn’t rule out spank the monkey of course) and so on.
But 5???
I’m obviously missing something. Got to get out more.
the real reason I’m publishing this list is the more creative entries: “fleshpopsicle,” “spearchucker,” and “whiteswallow” (which I thought was one of the birds Craig Newmark feeds in his backyard). Like an 11-year-old boy, we had not thought of saying these words until we heard them, but now those words taste so good in our mouths.
Use the phrase “flesh popsicle” in a sentence today.
Disclosure: As far as I can tell, certain (but not all) entries from Gawker Media blogs are republished through Verizon and thus fall under these guidelines.
———- Forwarded message ———-
No Content provided to Subscribers of Verizon Wireless from Content Providers, whether in the form of text, audio, images, video or otherwise, may contain any of the words listed in Appendix A. This includes any variations in spelling of the words (e.g., fuck, phuck, fucks, fucker, fucked, fucking, etc.), any variations in pronunciation of the words (e.g., nigger, nigga, niggahs, etc.) or any combinations or creations containing any of the words (e.g., ass, assboy, asslicker, uptheass, etc.).
Nonetheless, it is not possible to compile a definitive list of unacceptable words. Language is fluid, with new words and phrases regularly entering the public vocabulary, and established meanings may change over time. For this reason, the list of prohibited words in Appendix A may change from time to time and is not meant to be all-inclusive.
anal
ass
bastard
beatoff
bitch
BJ
cameljockey
chink
circlejerk
clit
cock
coolie
coon
cornhole
cum
cunt
dago
deepthroating
dickhead
dickwad
dildo
dyke
eatme
fag
faggot
fellatio
fisting
fleshflute
fleshpopsicle
fornicate
fuck
fudgepacking
gangbang
genital
getlaid
gobtheknob
goldenshower
gook
hairpie
hardon
homo
honkey
jerkoff
jewboy
jizz
5
kike
lesbo
limey
manloaf
masturbate
muffdiver
nigger
nutsack
paki
panface
poontang
pubic
pussy
queef
queer
raghead
rimjob
rubyredbag
scrotum
shit
sitonmyface
sixtynine
slag
slant
sodomize
spankthemonkey
spearchucker
spic
spooge
teabagging
testicles
twat
vagina
wetback
whackoff
whipitout
whiteswallow
wop
raincoaster 