operation global media domination: sic transit gloria bloggy

TIAAh, how long ago it seems; geological ages ago, fast-vanishing in the rearview mirror of the hurtling cosmos. And yet it was only yesterday that I was the most popular blog of the half-million blogs on WordPress. Today I’m #52 #91. Sigh.

Sic transit gloria bloggy. At least I’m up to 65,000 59,000 on Technorati.

Keith Olbermann, you’ll always have a special place in my heart. A place closer, perhaps, to the part I use to play poker with than the part I use to store actual affection in, but that could all change over drinks sometime. Call me. Although this was far from your finest rant, it was worth a cool three thousand hits in 24 hours.

Salon, I’m going to have to start reading you more often. Link to me again and I may blogroll you; we can work something out. Have your pixels call my pixels. (If my guess is right they follwed me from a Gawker post about Salon’s disingenuous celebrity uterus coverage {gee, even Salon checks their trackbacks; even famous people like to hear what others are saying about them} and on which I blogwhorishly dropped a link to my own blog post about the infamous and unnameable Cthulhu ultrasound. Then they poked around until they discovered Keith. But this is just a theory, and we all know what the mainstream press thinks of Chtulhu-TomKat-BushBashing theories).

Mere moments ago I was linked to in DirtySpoke‘s review of Anal Amy. We shall see if this is better than Olbermann, hitwise. UPDATE: two hits. That would be a no, by a factor of 10 to the third power.

I’m going to let someone Catholic explain all this to Sister Mary Martha. Volunteers?

And in a special bonus section tonight, we’ll answer some questions that popped up via the Search Engine Referrals.

  • Yes, Vic’s diner at the corner of Main and Cordova is closed. No idea when/if it will reopen, but I already miss their sweet Filipino spagetti (sic). Starting December 1, drown your sorrows in Pat’s Pub, where they’ll be serving their own microbrew. Tonight is Redneck Wednesday, with country rock on the stereo and Bud and Jack Boilermakers for $3.75. Apparently the Pacific up by the porn theatre is going to be joining the ranks of microbrewers; hey kids, it’s not just for gourmets anymore!
  • Kimveer Gill is still dead. Time to deal with it; put the black candles and athame down and back away slowly.
  • Steve Irwin also dead. Film will not be shown at eleven, nor at any other time.
  • The Blackzilla video here is NOT the one you’re looking for, people.
  • Lucy Gao still worth a half-dozen hits a day. Someone needs to be looking at freshening their newsgathering methodology.
  • Beautiful Agony Free Samples Not Here!

And now we return you to your regularly scheduled Communal Anarchist, Cthulhoid, short attention span Canuckistani blog.

Eva Longoria’s wishes for the holiday season

stolen from Defamer, who has the background material, should you be all concerned about that. But somehow we think you’ll be more concerned with adapting this to your new computer wallpaper, at least until your wife finds it.

Eva Longoria's holiday wishes

Heidi Fleiss fails to pimp bigly

Remember me?

It’s true. Heidi Fleiss does not know how to turn it out. The former leading madam of Hollywood is a dreadful marketer.

Heidi Fleiss cannot pander.

Despite the frenzy of headlines that resulted from news (from the horse’s ass’s mouth) that Mike Tyson would be joining her Daniel Libeskind-designed stud farm in the Nevada desert, today Heidi Fleiss revealed that the mansion of manliness will be doing without his cannibalistic presence.

Helluva lot she knows about marketing.

Seriously, honey. When a story about a potential employee drives the blogosphere into a perfect storm of fetishistic repulsion and attraction, and you are a madam looking for publicity for your new venture featuring exotic men for rent, what you have is not a damage-control situation calling for denials.

What you have is a gift from god.

What do you think of my book?

ad placement o’ the day

The last thing the millionaire rapist sees will be... 

From the Sun, via Fark, which seems to have totally missed this charming juxtaposition. You must go to the site click here to see one of the adds they’ve got in rotation on this story. I’m thinking somebody’s media buyer just got fired.

Short form: imprisoned rapist Iorworth Hoare wins lottery. Upon release, moves to expensive neighborhood. Is terrorized by giant European Eagle Owl.

Hogwarts 1: rapists 0.

In related news, fellow WordPress blogger and Vancouverite Marcus Frind, president of the Internet dating site Plenty of Fish, helped the US Marshals track down one of their most wanted criminals after he discovered the man was living with a woman he’d met through the site. Not exactly the kind of publicity I’d be hammering home to the public, myself. I mean, the news that my company is cooperating with law enforcement and putting away killers = good. The news that spree killers are trolling my dating site for women = bad.

But maybe that’s just me.

Jack the Ripper: the wanted poster

Have you seen this man?

Jack the Ripper, reconstituted

The Scotsman reports that police have reconstructed the face of that most infamous London serial killer. Unfortunately, they don’t report it in such a way as to explain on what basis they reconstructed it, so there is really no way of knowing how accurate this portrait is. “Profiling” is mentioned, but that, unfortunately, wouldn’t give you any more than the information he was a man in his thirties or forties, a loner, white, and probably a Vietnam vet with a fondness for Catcher in the Rye. Useful.

In any case, leather gays and Whitechapel whores are advised to stay indoors for the next few days, just in case.