Category Archives: Weird

Politics as Usual

Posted on by
I am a Vancouver Mayoral Candidate. I have a stuffed lobster. Hail our Crustacean overlords!

I am a Vancouver Mayoral Candidate. I have a stuffed lobster. Hail our Crustacean overlords!

As I’ve said before, Oh Vancouver, never change.

After Suzanne Anton’s failed Nixonian move, it looks like she’s out of the running. Even the Success KoolAid marketing networker drones would be embarrassed to be publicly seen advocating for someone who leaves a motion till it’s too late to vote on, attempts to have it passed anyway, and then goes dark, presumably because even she knows we’ve all had enough of her.

Mayor Gregor, or as we call him around here April’s imaginary boyfriend, gave an apparently quite respectable speech tonight at the Vision Vancouver gala. No video yet, because Vancouver is, well, Vancouver.

http://twitter.com/#!/katebarazzuol/status/131974907574751232

Speaking of Vancouver being Vancouver, as you can clearly see from the image featured in this post, there is only one mayoral candidate who is clearly speaking to the needs of the Cthulian demographic, and that is Lobster Man Darrell “The Sax Maniac” Zimmerman.

How long must we remain a marginalized minority? How long must we take the scraps off the tables of the rich? Wait. We ARE the scraps!

“I’m going to be the only homeless candidate in this election,” Zimmerman told me.

He likes waving around a toy lobster to highlight Vision Vancouver councillor Heather Deal’s decision to tweet a photo of leftovers from a lobster feast at a Federation of Canadian Municipalities meeting in Halifax.

I, personally, am less offended by the lavish dinner than by the fact that they paid $2300 and drank out of plastic cups. BRANDED plastic cups.

That’s it. I’ve made up my mind how to vote.

Cthulhu for president DESPAIR ALL YE WHO ENTER VOTING BOOTHS

Cthulhu for president DESPAIR ALL YE WHO ENTER VOTING BOOTHS

How do you spell “Hail Cthulhu” in Elvish?

Posted on by
Occupy Pumpkin Patch

GPOY: Occupy Pumpkin Patch

via Vicki McLeod

One does not simply walk into Gourd Door

One does not simply walk into Gourd Door

I had the best costume today, even if the mask didn’t fit very well.

V for Vogue

V for Vogue

The best part was that when people at, say, Starbucks looked surprised and alarmed (and they did) I just said, “Well, we TOLD you to expect us!” and they’d laugh.

Didn’t get the pumpkin carved in time (Elvish characters are a bitch to make without a proper Elven Pumpkin Carving Dagger) so I guess I’ll be eating a lot of curry, soups, and pie [holla, Oxford Comma] in the near future. And even though I had no jack o’ lantern and the porch light was out, I did get a few kids showing up: one four year old Super Mario, one six year old witch, a three year old um something vampiric I guess, and two older kids around twelve, one dressed in civvies and the other at least halfheartedly tried with a boy scout uniform. I rooted through the kitchen in desperation and ended up giving out all the apples. Super Mario Boy, “Oh goody, I LOVE apples!” By the time I remembered the lowfat caramel dip (what do you dip in it, Jenny Craig?) I was all out of Trick or Treaters for this year.

Then the cats and I spent four hours watching the fireworks in the park behind the house. Yes. Four. Hours. Every time there was a pause the black cat would freak out and start frantically pawing at the glass to make it start again. The bizarre thing is, it worked Every. Single. Time. The other cat expressed himself more directly, by expressing himself over the rug which is, thank god, machine washable.

In other news of unholy manifestations, I see that He is risen at last.

That’s right, bitches: Cthulhu is back!

Cthulhu is fit to be Thai'd

Cthulhu is fit to be Thai'd

As you can clearly see from these before-and-after pictures of the Chao Phraya river, He has returned…to Thailand. Great, do you have any idea how much the airfare will be?

HE could be a little more considerate, knowmasayin’?

Cthulhu as Nixon. He really IS evil.

Cthulhu as Nixon. He really IS evil.

Steve Jobs’s Afterlife

Posted on by

In the current state of affairs, there is obviously one question and one question only that must be on the minds of all the most intelligent citizens of the world, be they in Ponape or Rhode Island.

Or even Cupertino.

If, indeed, Steve Jobs is/was/will be the unspeakable Elder God Cthulhu, what’s his next move?

At last, we have our answer. And it is GLORIOUS!

Cthulhu vs Thomas Kinkade

Cthulhu vs Thomas Kinkade: there's an app for that

From Gawker commenter Sugarfly McQueen:

His earthly techno-geek duties finally at an end, He’s been called to fulfill a greater purpose: destroying Thomas Kinkade pictures from the inside out.

Somewhere, Steve is chuckling. And rolling up his sleeves.

Steve Jobs ponders his next sexxxy move

Steve Jobs ponders his next sexxxy move

Coffee, Mate?

Posted on by
He's on the phone right now telling you how invalid your argument is. What does it look like?

He's on the phone right now telling you how invalid your argument is. What does it look like?

Yes, fanboys and fangirls, it’s time for more Assangeology here at Operation Global Media Domination HQ. Tonight, we bring you news of an exciting event on the horizon: a fundraising auction for Wikileaks! Aren’t you excited? You look excited! I’m excited! I’m even more excited after reading the list of items…or make that, reading partway through the list of items and finding something really interesting and dirty and getting distracted, as is my wont, whether I wont to or not:

… a framed, signed limited edition cable describing Hillary Clinton’s spying orders against the United Nations, one of two computers used to prepare Cablegate, complete with full historical data, invite-only tickets to Vivienne Westwood’s Spring/Summer 2012 fashion show in Paris later this month and sealed prison coffee smuggled out of HMS Wandsworth by Julian Assange on December 17…

COFFEE

WikiLeaks Fundraiser: Julian Assange’s Prison Coffee, Signed and Fingerprinted
Smuggled out of prison by Julian Assange

starting £200

Scarce item of memorabilia from Julian Assange’s time in prison. Julian Assange spent ten days in prison in Decmber 2010. When he left to go under house arrest in Norfolk he smuggled out this, one of three sachets of coffee.

This rare item has been signed on one side: ‘Julian A, Prison coffee, smuggled out of Wandsworth Prison by me on Dec 17 2010′. On the other side of the sachet Julian has inked a fingerprint.

The sachet is unopened and is being sold to raise money for WikiLeaks.

For confirmation of legitimacy of this item please contact: 0044 7554 181 066. For any questions about payment arrangements please contact this number.

I have, it’s true, no questions whatsoever about the legitimacy of the item. I have, however, one BIG question about how, exactly, the item in question was smuggled out of that prison.

I’m just sayin’.

Bad raincoaster! BAD BAD RAINCOASTER!

Julian spanking gif and didn't that title just cause fainting worldwide

Julian spanking gif and didn't that title just cause fainting worldwide

Enjoying First Nations/Aboriginal Summer

Posted on by
Car Free Day Vancouver

Car Free Day Vancouver

I understand Summer has come late to the Southlands, and that they are currently reveling in hour after hour of sunlight, near-perfect temperatures and cool, meadow-scented breezes. When this rare occurrence … um … occurs, there’s only one thing to do: ditch the vehicle and spend as much time as possible en plein air, as enthusiastically demonstrated by the hero of our little video here:

Tragically, he is stopped in his tracks by an architectural befuddlement so befuddling it has foiled such capable combatants as the Police and the Daleks! That’ll teach him to play in the shade when the sun is out!

Daleks rule the world but only on the ground level

Daleks rule the world but only on the ground level