LOLitics: Mannifest Destuny

Mannifest Destuny iz mannifestin

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Now, it’s not the first time the Yanks have made a move on our land. The last time they pulled this my ancestors had to go down and loot and burn the White House to discourage this kind of thing, and as we know from recent example, the gene pool has bred true.

But this time they have gone too far.

Welcome: Portraits of America, a new seven-minute film produced by Disney, will be shown in airports and embassies to woo visitors with a sanitised take on US landmarks. There are no shots of highways clogged with cars bumper to bumper. Instead, the camera pans over the wonders of the Grand Canyon, New York’s Chrysler building and the awe-inspiring power of the Niagara Falls.

But wait a minute. What falls are these? They don’t seem to resemble the Bridal Veil Falls that stand on the US side of the border. They do, however, look distinctly like the Horseshoe Falls, the immense curtain of water shrouded in mist that is the stock image of Niagara and lies almost entirely inside Canada. The annexation of a Canadian natural wonder was spotted by the news agency Associated Press.”This is an insult,” said Paul Gromosiak, an expert on the waterfalls. “This is not the US, this is 100% Canada, shot from the Canadian side.“

 

We have previously had our issues with the Guardian‘s coverage of Canada, but in this case we have little to add. Very little. Except: you don’t want to piss us off again.

That’s what Portraits of Americans are like.
This is what Portraits of Canadians are like.

via Bridlepath

Swords, baybee. We have swords. What do you have? A weak military force squandered in Iraq and a couple of dozen reserves out scouring the country side for escaped weasels. Tell them to look in Congress and the Senate.

quiz: what kind of candy are you?

What does it mean that I’m a kind of candy you can’t get in my country? I’d rather be something nice and Canadian, like Maple Toffee or something.


Butterfinger


They call you sticky fingers for a reason!

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Season of the Witch

The firecrackers have started in Chinatown and the first of the Skytrain costume parties is over. The stores are decked in a crazy clashing kaliedoscope of pumpkin orange, black, red, and green as Christmas tries to force its way through the doors before all passengers have disembarked, the passenger in question being Halloween.

Here is something to make the moments go a little faster. The moments until you can declare all the candy in your house “leftovers” and gobble those little Snickers bars as fast as your paws can peel them.

The Club Mix of Season of the Witch, by Eartha Kitt.
Fabulous visuals by Queerty (via Defamer)

Can you name them all?

Neopagan flames in the comment section, please. But be warned: I’ve actually read Margaret Murray’s The Witch Cult in Western Europe. Bring your game, people!

Cat Found!

Cat Found

from Flickr via PostmodernGirl

What do you think? Should we tell them? I’m pretty sure this was a Looney Tunes episode many years back…

the (second) fight of my life

Zombie Yoga

In retrospect I must say that I really couldn’t have picked a better fashion choice than Farmer Zombie for the street fight.

A little background, perhaps?

I live on the Downtown EastSide, an area where the average life expectancy has been estimated as low as 33 years, thanks to AIDS, Hep-A, Hep-B, Hep-C, tuburculosis, and a whole epidemiology text of diseases that were thought to belong to Victorian novels about impoverished chambermaids, not to mention the street fighting.

A 76-year-old man died last year when he was stabbed in an argument about a spot in line at the Food Bank a block from my house.

People on the things people are on down here are touchy.

But they are, as a rule, paranoid about people who look respectable. They know damn well you’ll call the cops on them and the cops will pay attention to you, so the violence is pretty much street-on-street, not street-on-norm, if you know what I mean, and if you don’t, perhaps I’ve lived down here too long.

But I was on the West Side. That’s the thing: the West Side is where we keep the Yuppies, the Preppies, and the Really Rich People From Hong Kong.

I’m never going west of Carrall Street again!

So, there I was on the West Side, minding, very much, my own business, as one does when one has a lot to think about at ten o’clock at night, Continue reading →