Old fashioned romance has all the charm of old fashioned divorce laws
I’ve always figured that basically this is how internet dating works, too. Or at least it does in my experience.
Old-Fashioned Romance: the problem therewith
Why it’s called “Meatspace”
Oh, Elsie is in for a rude shock
Have you noticed that we have no difficulty believing we are spiritual beings, but we simply cannot wrap our heads around the actually demonstrable fact that we are, in fact, made of meat? Why, even on this very blog, we’ve had suggested wine pairings for cannibals, whom we have also covered. Repeatedly, in fact. We’ve even covered fake me-meat, as well as munch-by-munch reports of ursine-sapien dining and a scientific investigation into just how Modest a Proposal Jonathan Swift‘s little suggestion really was.
Well, it’s time for a refresher. We are nothing but wetware in meatspace, and even the aliens abducting and probing us, anal fissures first, find it distasteful. Observe:
Close observers will observe the observer observing them observing us; he is the Venusian Martian from the original 1961 Twilight Zone episode, Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up;
I for one am relieved he got away. And more relieved not to have the gory details.
Penis Dog Post
penis dog iz penisy
Technically, “penile” is the word, but one can’t expect Google to be hip to that. And this post, unsurprisingly, is all about Teh Googlez.
We have previously blogged Penis Puppy.
Penis Puppy will grow into Penis Dog
What can I say? I was teaching at a conference, and they say you should always include pictures of cats to ensure your presentation goes over well. Well, I’m no more a cat person than I am a Chihuahua person, so I said FUCK THAT SHIT and went with Penis Puppy. I think that aught to wipe the floor with any kittens extant. And after the presentation, a participant tweeted me a picture of Penis Dog, so I think my path to Google hegemony is well underway.
But seriously, how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?
It was better than this guy’s.
Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!
Honestly, woman, are you INSANE? You find the last man on Earth who actually brings flowers on a date and you stand him up????
Internet, get me this man’s contact details immediately!
Post-Valentine’s Day Unicorn Chaser
Geek Online Dating with Julian Assange; satisfaction guaranteed or your encryption key back!
And how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?
Spokesmodeling: looks like somebody’s found a way to keep Wikileaks flush while fighting court cases around the world! Smart thinking; the marketing of Lay-A-Neckbeard.net is challenging in the extreme, thanks to people’s selfish refusal to be sexually attracted to the physically repulsive. All they need is a little marketing makeover (and diet and exercise, facials, stylists, and grooming tips) and POOF! Instant sex god dating site.
Also related: Penis Puppy! Awww, so cute…and about 30 inches long!
Penis Puppy
If you’re not dating, how are you spending your time? If you’re like me, like this:
Tea and hardcovers
You KNOW you have no secrets on the internet. Oh, PS: You left the webcam on.
raincoaster 