Coffee, anyone?

Cthulhu coffee is tentacularly tasty!

Cthulhu coffee is tentacularly tasty!

After the night I’ve had, make mine a decaf.

https://twitter.com/#!/raincoaster/status/171892566931943424

https://twitter.com/#!/AssangeC/status/171921297952092160

https://twitter.com/#!/NOH8ER/status/171901788717449216

https://twitter.com/#!/raincoaster/status/171901969533911040

https://twitter.com/#!/wheeliesmom/status/171941972938997760

On the upside:

https://twitter.com/#!/Lego_KurtCobain/status/171944825854238720

So yeah, validated.

But I’m telling you, for the next little while I don’t need any god damn more surprises. CHEERS!

have a cup of Cthulhu!

have a cup of Cthulhu!

Old-Fashioned Romance: the problem therewith

Old fashioned romance has all the charm of old fashioned divorce laws

Old fashioned romance has all the charm of old fashioned divorce laws

I’ve always figured that basically this is how internet dating works, too. Or at least it does in my experience.

Why it’s called “Meatspace”

Oh, Elsie is in for a rude shock

Oh, Elsie is in for a rude shock

Have you noticed that we have no difficulty believing we are spiritual beings, but we simply cannot wrap our heads around the actually demonstrable fact that we are, in fact, made of meat? Why, even on this very blog, we’ve had suggested wine pairings for cannibals, whom we have also covered. Repeatedly, in fact. We’ve even covered fake me-meat, as well as munch-by-munch reports of ursine-sapien dining and a scientific investigation into just how Modest a Proposal Jonathan Swift‘s little suggestion really was.

Well, it’s time for a refresher. We are nothing but wetware in meatspace, and even the aliens abducting and probing us, anal fissures first, find it distasteful. Observe:

Close observers will observe the observer observing them observing us; he is the Venusian Martian from the original 1961 Twilight Zone episode, Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up;

I for one am relieved he got away. And more relieved not to have the gory details.

Penis Dog Post

penis dog iz penisy

penis dog iz penisy

Technically, “penile” is the word, but one can’t expect Google to be hip to that. And this post, unsurprisingly, is all about Teh Googlez.

We have previously blogged Penis Puppy.

Penis Puppy will grow into Penis Dog

Penis Puppy will grow into Penis Dog

What can I say? I was teaching at a conference, and they say you should always include pictures of cats to ensure your presentation goes over well. Well, I’m no more a cat person than I am a Chihuahua person, so I said FUCK THAT SHIT and went with Penis Puppy. I think that aught to wipe the floor with any kittens extant. And after the presentation, a participant tweeted me a picture of Penis Dog, so I think my path to Google hegemony is well underway.

But seriously, how was YOUR Valentine’s Day?

It was better than this guy’s.

Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!

Someone stood up a guy who BRINGS FLOWERS??? Get me that man's number immediately!

Honestly, woman, are you INSANE? You find the last man on Earth who actually brings flowers on a date and you stand him up????

Internet, get me this man’s contact details immediately!