Borat Attacked! 2.0

 Borat, ready for action!

Okay people, you made me do this. You made me post about Borat when I have, I admit, no interest whatsoever in doing so.

You made me feel guilty.

Over 600 of you came to this site so far today looking for news of the anonymous New Yorker who beat the crap out of Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen) a couple of days ago, before Jeeves (Hugh Laurie) came to his rescue. And what did you get? A lame post about poster defacing or is that defacation?

Go HERE for the story you’re actually looking for, okay? I promise you, Gawker cares about this in ways I never could…

thanksgiving prayer: William S. Burroughs

One of the greatest pieces of American political criticism of the late 20th Century. I urge you to listen carefully, and repeatedly, particularly as the American Thanksgiving approaches, and to ponder the truths and untruths of Burroughs’ powerful statement.

ika!

Darkness on the Sea of Japan!! What lurks???

comment o’ the day: counting on the Count

Count von Count, ah ah ah!The Count is, bar none, the coolest character on Sesame Street. Forget your Leftys, forget your Oscars, the Count, Count von Count, was the only one who would have sneaked into your bedroom in the middle of the night and turned you into a numerically-obssessed, undead creature of the shadows. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the bar for cool around the ol’ raincoaster blog, and that is the secret behind Keith Richards’ enduring popularity; the threat of supernatural eroticism.

Where’s your Big Bird now?

Sesame Street is, as we have noted time and time and time again around these parts (even without getting into Grover is Bitter, which we will some day we’re really stuck for a post) an endlessly fascinating topic and a true microcosm of the urban reality which surrounds us, pervading every aspect of our lives. Truly there is no contemporary city experience which cannot be examined through the lens of this iconic children’s program.

Jimmy Canuck is on to this; he’s currently enjoying a long run in WordPress’s Top Posts for his 20 Things You Didn’t Know About Sesame Street, and I am proud to report I did, in fact, know most of them, including Guy Smiley’s real name. I even know Grover’s! It’s an interesting post, for who among us can say they already knew Baby Bear was Jewish?

He doesn’t look it.

But deep in the comments section I found this little gem from cole. Read it and weep laughing.

I actually know the guy who did the orginal Count voice. He is in a fiddler band and one night while I was cocktail waitressing I asked him to do the voice and he said…

“Fuck off” and “No”

I said , please oh please, not detered…he said,
“I only work for money.”
I offered a dollar, he said “Fuck you, two.” I agreed and he said,
“I see von green eye, two green eye…ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Now go and get me a fucking drink.”
I love Sesame Street.

Britney and K-Fed and Bobby Fischer in sex tape shocker!

Britney en route to a chess tourney, no doubt.Now, we’re informed media consumers here at the ol’ raincoaster blog. We like to think we can sniff out a planted story faster than a police dog can sniff out a suitcase full of Elmos. And the British press is to bullshit reports what Iraq is to oil imperialists; an irresistable and inexhaustable well.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to cover their stories. Oh no, perish the thought. Because then we’d have to do without this brazilliant piece of bullshit from, one would hazard a guess, the UK publicist of Fed-Ex (maybe the separation agreement means he gets to keep half of the publicists?). The image of a spent and sweat-sheened Britney and K-Fed taking a break from mind-boggling, 10 on the Richter Scale sex only to play a round or two of chess is just too precious and ridonkulous to pass up.

Britney, unless I’m mistaken it’s your move.

London, Nov 12: Pop singer Britney Spears’ estranged hubby Kevin Federline has reportedly threatened to go public with the couples[sic] honeymoon sex tapes if she fails to make a hefty payout to him and hand custody of their two sons.

Po po wha???Britney fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image [also sic, BIG sic, as Ed the Sock said, “I know strippers who can’t move like that!”] unless she caves in to his demands for a £16million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks…

“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex—and play the odd game of chess.

I’m killing myself here. Someone alert Bobby Fischer.