world’s un-greatest cook strikes again

Horsemeat, yo.

I don’t know how I do it, honestly. Normally I eat crap because normally I can only afford crap, but here I am house-sitting chez gourmets, and I still managed to make myself a dinner burritto that smells like nothing so much as sweaty horses. Unless it’s the parings the farrier trims from their hooves; that, too. Charming.

Now, it’s reasonably certain that Lydia and her family haven’t stocked the fridge with horsemeat in anticipation of my house-sitting reign. I figure that stew-looking ingredient was a benign ratatoille but I could be mistaken; eggplant can be tricky. And you’d figure if the cold cuts were in reality Dobbin dogs, someone might have mentioned it, if for no other reason than that I’d then give them a wide berth.

If that’s not actually the case, and mine hosts are, in fact, caballaro cannibals, I will be forced to undertake a penitent pilgrimmage to Louisville Downs upon their return.

Secretariat, I am so, so sorry.

Still, nummy!

the 12 days of Christmas, Indian edition

I love Canadian multiculturalism; it lets you make fun of everybody, including those who pay for your social life (inside joke). Say hello to Indian boy band sensation Boymongoose.

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Technorati me!

and now a word from our sponsor, ADD Shopping Network

Another from the demented genius that is DCLugi.

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Technorati me!

quiz: will you be one of Cthulhu’s chosen ones?

I think we all know raincoaster’s result without bothering to look, don’t we?


Could You Be One Of Cthulhu’s Chosen?


You are clearly a being of exceptional wisdom and insight on the greater meaningless and value-less universe for the mark of Cthulhu burns brightly upon your aura. Take heed for when the stars are right and the terrible city of R’Lyeh rises again from the sea you must answer the call of Dread Cthulhu, taking your place beneath the Old One as he revels across the world ravening for delight. Till such time you would do well to please Cthulhu, extracting from the world your own pleasures in decadent and boisterous exploits.
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Technorati me!

operation global media domination: the rise of the Castoridaeian meme

TIAIn other words, the beaver shot as bellweather of the blogosphere.

You may have heard, if you’re not actually dead or offline (and what’s the difference, really?) that Britney Spears has been celebrating her recent weight loss and the birth of her second child by allowing her adoring public to check out the actual birth canal, with and without turquoise cooch-cosy.

This has the blogosphere in quite a tizzy. Unlike with the popularizer of beaver fever, Lindsay Lohan, Britney‘s snatch has been generally assumed to be off-limits, since at first she claimed it was unused, then claimed it belonged to Timberlake, and then to Federline. Now, it belongs to the people.

And what does this have to do with raincoaster’s Operation Global Media Domination? Just this: a rising skirt lifts all blogs, and my post of Lori‘s several months old beaver shots are one of the top posts on WordPress right now. Metro must be so proud. God knows, I’ll take the hits; I transcended dignity a very long time ago. I may be a joke, but I’m a PROUD one! Apparently, this particular post is #3 on Google when you search for “Beaver shots”.

Search results that led here for the past two days:

brittany spears beaver shot 15
britney beaver shot 9
beautiful agony 8
“beautiful Agony” 5
steve irwin death video 4
KKKramer shirt 3
blackzilla 3
spears beaver shot 3
beaver shots 2
Britney Spears beaver shots 2

Yesterday
Search Views
britney beaver shot 118
beautiful agony 102
Steve Irwin Death video 56
beaver shots 39
britney beaver shots 35
brittany Spears beaver shot 30
britney spears beaver shots 27
spears beaver shot 24
reverend ted 22
blackzilla 20

In unrelated news, Jesus’ General made my day, week, month, and year by telling me in an email that he likes my blog.

*swoons*