Cthihuahua fhtagn!

The dinosaurs were actually smaller than anyone imagined

The Cthuloid Cabazon Floyd; now it all makes so much sense!

Many warnings have we uttered. Many Cassandra-like cries have we cried to the oblivious masses. Not once, not twice, nay, not even thrice have we attempted to spread the truth about these malevolent, trembling mole-rats. We have shouted from the rooftops and twittered from the back alleys yea unto an thousandtimes, but have ye listened?

The Hell ye have.

They are not shy about their plans

we must strike back in the daytime, while they are trapped in purses around the globe

Let me give it to you straight, people: Chihuahuas are not simply evil, snappish, inbred yap machines, they are the spawn of the Great Old Ones themselves, come to Earth to subjugate mankind.

And from the neurasthenic, snappish comments on this Gawker post, they seem largely to have succeeded.

The woman dropped off 33 chihuahuas on Wednesday and nine more on Thursday morning. One of the chihuahuas gave birth to a puppy on Thursday, bringing the total to 43. All but six of the dogs are under the age of two…

and all but two of them needed spaying/neutering, and, in true Cthulhuonic fashion, they were deeply inbred, with all the revolting mental and physical deformities that go with that unspeakable aberration. But, right, I already TOLD you they were Chihuahuas. What’s most alarming is the number of commenters to whom the same descriptors can be applied.

You rarely see Rottweiler people getting pissy about people who don’t like Rotties. When was the last time you saw some undersexed, overmedicated chainsmoker screaming at someone because that person said their Labrador was “not a dog” eh? EH? The Labrador, you see, is a dog, as is the Rottie. As are the mutts at the pound, and the surly curs of Cairo back alleys, but as are not the tiny, fanged demons known as Cthihuahuas. They have obviously infiltrated the minds of the unwary, or the weak, and seized control

Long have we known, but been unable to prove to the doubters (a situation with which this far-ahead-of-its-time-and-incidentally-overhyphenated blog is all-too-familiar). Now, finally, from a remote Antipodean outpost not terribly far from the last reported sighting of The Great Cthulhu comes photo proof:

CthiCthuaCthua

CthiCthuaCthua KNEEL DOWN AND WORSHIP, BITCHES!!

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ever have that feeling…?

That feeling like you identify completely with a misunderstood character of widely popular fiction?

existential hulk is existential

existential hulk is existential

Me too.

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Bubble Sunset unicorn chaser

We had some complaints about the visuals in the last post (what, not everybody is fat-carb-chocolate-and-booze-deprived?) so for that reason and also to celebrate the new look around these parts, here is a little something to clear your palate: a Bubble Sunset unicorn chaser.

Bubble Sunset by Khosey1 on Flickr

Bubble Sunset by Khosey1 on Flickr; each bubble carries one of your troubles away! Awww.

via snuh: call-it-karma:(via where-the-heart-is)

Huh, not everything on Tumblr is a self-absorbed rant or hipster photo. Who knew?

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Things it is not fair to post when I’m on a diet

This:

English breakfast pizza, om to the nom nom

I am not seeing any black pudding in that

via NegevRockCity and Slice

English. Breakfast. Pizza.

I’m serious, people, DON’T DO THIS TO ME! I’m fat-and-carb deprived and currently subsisting entirely off a diet somewhat lower down the food chain than a goldfinch, and it makes me cranky. We don’t have to review what happened the last time I went on a diet, do we?

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World’s Least-Cute Octopus Found

Remember when we brought you the world’s cutest octopus all the way from the frozen waters of Eastern Canada? Isn’t the little fella just adorbz?

World's Cutest Octopus, Octo-Newf

Well, now we’ve gone and found you his (literal) polar opposite: an Antipodean octopus so unstoppably noxious that that its poisonous venom flows at will even at sub-zero temperatures.

world's scariest octopus Pareledone aequipapillae

According to Wired (hey, when did they get on the Cthulhu beat? I WILL NOT BE MUSCLED OUT, YOU CARPETBAGGERS!!!):

“Antarctic octopus venom works at temperatures that would stop other venoms in their tracks,” said biochemist Bryan Fry of the University of Melbourne, who led the expedition…

The venoms are being studied as potential sources of pain-killers, Fry said, because they work on the nervous system. So far, analysis of the venom has revealed two toxins that are new to science.

Ah, but not to us Comparative Folklore majors, eh?

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