Er, so to speak, you understand. So to speak.
BoJo: Enter the Dragon
via Azahar
Now that’s a physical specimen to put the fear of god into Ryan Reynolds, eh? How majestic, how magnificent. How much energy went into getting this body in motion? The mind: it boggleth.
Never change, Boris. Never change.
FruzsE at Roflcon
https://twitter.com/#!/FruzsE/status/198636786036117504
It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.
That somebody is my co-worker (for the second time: the first was at the long-lost and oft-lamented True/Slant. We’re both chicks, so when it got sold to Forbes they let us go, but HEY NO HARD FEELINGS. The layoff notice addressed to “Dear Contributor” was a classy touch, I thought) Fruzsina Eördögh, and she is reporting from deep in the heart of ROFLcon for the DailyDot, along with a full third of the masthead.
I’m not. But it’s fine.
This is what conference journalism looks like from the trenches. If you’ve ever read Hunter S. Thompson I know these scenes will not frighten you, but they will shock you with just how far things have gone since HST was conference-going himself. You. Have. Been. Warned.
And here I am stuck at home. No open bar. No ROFLs. Not even a deflated Whoopie Cushion.
But it’s fine. It’s okay. I’ve still got my poetry.
IAMBIC Pentameter REPRESENT!
Aquatic Dragon off the coast of Victoria
What a day for nature lovers! Classic Rock radio 101 has reported the sighting of a rare Aquatic Dragon off the coast of Victoria, BC! Praise Cthulhu, we thought they had been hunted to extinction, along with their distant cousins, the Pacific Tree Octopus. This amazing creature, nearly 100m from its savagely curved beak to its tippiest tentacle, once blotted out the skies in its annual migrations from the Arctic plateaus to a still-undiscovered location somewhere in the South Pacific. Such were its numbers, and its fierce fighting ability, that it seemed unthinkable the species could ever be threatened.
That was, of course, before the advent of aircraft. Their soft, boneless bodies proved no match for slashing propellers and insatiable jet intakes, and for a generation or more the skies were greasy with carnage. You think you know how calamari was invented? Let me tell you, it was the act of a hardscrabble wartime population desperate for protein of any kind. When the planes flew overhead, housewives would run into the streets with buckets to catch the crudely hacked pieces of Aquatic Dragon that fell in a slimy torrent from the skies.
And soon, all too soon, it was all over.
WWII had done irreparable damage to the breeding population, and it is believed that nuclear tests in the South Pacific may have destroyed their traditional wintering grounds, leaving them with an unsustainable, nomadic, and doomed few survivors. This latest discovery is heartening in the extreme, for this juvenile specimen attests to the atavistic survival of at least two healthy Aquatic Dragons somewhere off the coast of Vancouver Island. My old alma mater, Miskatonic University, is gathering specialists in marine biology and herpetology to undertake an expedition in search of the creatures.
Hey, what could go wrong?
Be Anonymous this May Day!
Forgot about Bank Transfer Day? Missed the Million Hoodie March? Still emotionally support Occupy and the 99%? Not to worry! Here’s something you can do to support the 99% and it won’t cost you a damn cent or take one damn minute of your time. This is perhaps the most perfect protest for the Age of Slacktivism: a May Day protest in which you do not a goddam thing, and by so doing, bring the 1% to their knees.
(via Max Adams)
Think about it. Those are great odds, and no heavy lifting.
99 to 1
raincoaster 