Category Archives: Allegory

300, the game! Spartans vs Persians, old-skool!

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300

So the movie 300 is a jingoistic, bombastic, cartoonish, homoerotic two-hour military recruiting video. I mean, they say that as if it’s bad!

Some demented and nostalgic genius has taken this simpleminded movie and given it perhaps the ultimate Generation X accolade; he’s made a Nintendo Entertainment System game out of it.

The reviewers should have just watched this instead of wasting ten bucks and two hours of their time. As for me, I could watch and watch…pot, Pearl Jam, and Doritos optional.

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quiz: which HPLovecraft character are you?

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Well this one was actually a surprise: it’s the only published HPLovecraft story I’ve never read. It must be an omen…

Herbert West, Reanimator

Quiz: Who in Lovecraft’s Universe are You? 

You are Herbert West, Re-Animator, from the story of the same name. You create a potion that restores life-a bit like a cross between Jekyll-and-Hyde and Frankenstein. You are killed my mad zombies.
Take this quiz!

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Nine Inch Nails: Survivalism

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The latest key to the conspiracy…distributed in USB drives at the London show, March 7th.

Or so they say…

Hmmm, definitely not my favorite NIN song, but the worst thing is…oh god…is Trent actually wearing that badge of the clueless, the Hipster Hijab?

Sure, he’s still hot, but je suis ainsi mortifié!

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emoticons of the gods

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Here, by way of UniqueDaily (for whose 286 clickthroughs to SuperOctopus we are very grateful indeed) is the super global masterlist of internet emoticons. From Midget Smileys to Mega Smileys, it’s got them all.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, emoticons are what geeks have instead of facial expressions, body language, or interpersonal skillz.

Some practical examples you can put to immediate use in your daily lives:

{:-) User wears a toupee.

}:-( Toupee in an updraft.

:-[ User is a vampire.

:-E Bucktoothed vampire.

:-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.

-:-) User is a punk rocker.

-:-( Real punk rockers don’t smile.

(8-o It’s Mr. Bill!

d8= Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.

C= 2>;*{)) A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.

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why saving daylight costs lives

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Zombie rage

Because not all of us are morning people, GODDAMMIT!!!

Daylight.

Fucking.

Savings.

I want to find out who invented this, then I want to find out where he’s buried, then I want to go there and dig him up, and then I want to beat him to a fine puree using no instrument of greater delicacy than a frozen musk-ox foreleg. And if he’s not dead, I want to strangle and bury him first.

Signed,
Not A Fucking Morning Person, GODDAMMIT, all right, you motherfuckers!!!

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