Pussy tips from Fox: picking the perfect playmate for your cat house

Catwoman relaxing with her humans

Cat houses are notoriously hard to manage and staff. While we’ve all made impulsive choices at one time or another, some decisions are far too important to be left to the whims of the moment. Certainly at the time it seems right. It seems natural. It seems good.

But the next morning, when there are another’s hairs in the sink and breath in our faces, we must ask ourselves: did we really make the right choice?

Fortunately, the ever-dependable Fox News has stepped into the breach and collected a list of tips for picking the perfect pussy. Never again will you face morning-after remorse!

[they] can be a wonderful addition to any household. But many novice — —-rs assume this “pet” will be an aloof alternative to a —, which is far from the truth. While they can stay indoors and do not have the exercise requirements of —s, —s do require attention and stimulation…

Although —s are usually thought of as a low-maintenance ——, they still need play time and care. —s may not need to be taken out for a walk, but that does not mean they do not require a serious commitment.

No matter whether it is a ———– ——– — or Russian —-, the decision to buy a — should be a decision made by every single person in the household…

Baby ——s, especially a wide-eyed ——, can be almost impossible to pass up. Anyone looking for a —— should consider that it is a tiny bundle of energy, very different from the composed demeanor of many adult —-.

“… they tend to be active from 3 to 6 a.m.,” Buchwald said. “It takes a lot of care. We often say, if you don’t feel like being awakened in the middle of the night, then maybe opt for an adult…” [anyone with a teenager would agree]

All ——-s are natural scratchers, according to Tartaglia, so it is important to provide natural surfaces … so ——– behavior does not turn destructive.

For people looking for a specific —, they might want to consider a breeder

And so on. That’s Fox: Not Afraid to Be Servicey.

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Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef

Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef

Yes, Stacy Keach is a man of many talents. You may be familiar with him as an actor; you may have heard of his charity work; you may know him from his colourful personal history, but are you aware that this veritable Renaissance Man is also a qualified Jedi Master Chef?

Indeed, in the crowded ranks of celebrity Jedi Chef wannabes, only a rare few make it through to the revered rank of Jedi Master Chef. The years of training, the discipline necessary to wield a lightsaber or boning knife equally with not only a straight face, but a threatening one, the dogged pursuit of the scoundrel known as “Santa Clause”, and the ability to instantly recall the correct method for preparing non-weepy custard, are accomplishments beyond the ability of all but a rare, ascetic few.

Undertaking the way of the Jedi Chef is the choice of those remarkable individuals whose paths wind through tangled underbrush, dark valleys, and science fiction conventions.

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over the viaduct

Yet under the blanket.

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to tolerate the flying vermin which have infested my house for the last three months long enough to blog this, but I’ll try. As I said recently, I don’t look like I’m typing; thanks to the fruit flies which attend every vegan hippie like the pages surrounding Cleopatra, I look like I’m Carol Channing, playing to the back rows on Broadway.

But I’ll try.

—————————————————————

I didn’t really believe it. None of us really believed it. Until the blanket. Until they pulled out the blanket and draped it over him and even then, still, some primal instinct within us was wishing, hoping, truly believing that they’d tuck it under his chin and say, “There you go, Fred,” and he’d say thanks, it’s cold out, but the only one who said it was cold out was the nurse who’d been working on him ever since the car hit him.

And as they pulled the blanket up over his face, it got even colder.

is this seat taken?

Ganesh on the train

How does it go again?

Choose First Class for luxury, Third Class for company.

It’s easy to see where Ganesh stands (sits) on the issue.

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Saints Alive! The Cthulhu Medallion

Cthulhu medallion

hat-tip AllThingsCthulhu

Oh, this has just GOT to work better than a Saint Christopher; after all, having millions of medals out there didn’t prevent St.Chris from getting demoted from Saint Christopher to Just A General All-Around Nice Guy Christopher?

This, instead, is something with real power behind the graven image, something worth far more than its melt or sentimental value. Sling this around your neck and have geeks falling at your feet (mind you, they do that now, but only because I claim I dropped “the chip that Woz signed for me” I’m a big meanie, I am) and maybe one of them will give you Friends and Family options. Or at least grovel on the floor, chanting. That’s always impressive.

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