PSA: The Elephant Book launch

The Elephant Book Launch

Archie video: the VIDEO

As opposed to the mere link which I posted back in April.

And boy, was she pissed off! Ba-dump-dum.

And if you don’t know who Archie is, shame on you. Doncha gots Google where you live?

The ongoing fe/male red-haired Figwit-person debate continues. Is there a fansite yet?

Dear Hohan, cut it TF out, biatch

A Hollywood producer of whom nobody outside the office ever heard has sent his movie’s star a “Dear Crack Ho” letter.

 As always, The Smoking Gun is on the scene.

Dear Lindsay,

Since the commencement of principal photography of Georgia Rule, you have frequently failed to arrive on time to the set. Today, you did not show for work (all day). I am now told you don’t plan to come to work tomorrow because you are “not feeling well”. You and your representatives have told us that your various late arrivals and absences from the set have been the result of illness; today we were told it was “heat exhaustion”. We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so called “exhaustion”. We refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behavior.

To date, your actions on Georgia Rule have been discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional. You have acted like a spoiled child and in so doing have alienated many of your co-workers and endangered the quality of this picture. Moreover, your actions have resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage. We will not tolerate these actions any further.

If you do not honor your production commitments, including your scheduled call time for tomorrow, and any call times thereafter, we will hold you personally accountable. This means that in addition to pursuing full monetary damages, we will take such other action as we deem necessary to preserve the integrity of the Georgia Rule Production as well as Morgan Creek‘s financial interests. I urge you to take this letter seriously and conduct yourself professionally.

James G. Robinson
CEO, Morgan Creek Productions

CC:  T. Brenhan 
B.Lourd
 R. Levitt 
J. Sloan
 R. Levy  
J. Weinberg
 D. Lohan [notice they got Mom in the last line]
L. Zelnick

Is that a candlestick?

it’s makeover time, Marie Claire

All hail Gawker, channelling the immortal SPY:

 

Marie Claire makeover, perhaps via Foreign Policy

Note To Every Twenty-Year-Old Whose Grasp Of History Extends No Further Back Than 2004: We are not ripping off Andrew Hearst. We have a tremendous amount of respect for Andrew Hearst and always find his projects witty and humorous, but we’re sure he’d be the first to admit that the magazine cover parody did not originate with him. We are, in fact, ripping off Spy. Thank you for your attention.

awwwwww, why don’t *I* get any flamewars?

TIAJeez, I go offline for a lousy four or five days and everybody gets a flamewar except me! Even Boris. Pooey. Phooey, even, and I mean that.

Why don’t I get cool hatemail like the Pastafarians? This one even has several people using the same name to fight one another, like someone with MPD with self-hatred issues. Far more interesting than anything on daytime tv, and yep, the lawyer references flew thick and fast.

Them Christians! They always got a lawyer handy. Mind you, if I wrote comments like that to imaginary beings, I would probably see the wisdom in having someone on retainer, too, if only a psychiatrist.

The Kittens!!! Think of the Kittens!!!

I do believe you are

I do believe you are a fucking retard and I hope you burn in hell. Fuck you and the flying spaghetti monster. Postmodernism is a self defeating concept. Read Josh McDowell’s book for a good overview of what life is truly about you dumbass humanist. You obviously think life is just a big damn joke. Its all for humor and entertainment. I look forward to the day it fucks you right in the ass. Oh the age of the earth doesn’t fucking matter! Technology, hell we’d be better of without it anyways. God is not a flying spaghetti monster because only a human could think up such a dumbass retarded idea like that. Intelligent Design is observable. It does not require faith, it requires the ability to understand what irreducible complexity is along with several other phenomena that has been discovered in Science. Evolution is a conjecture. Of course, an idiot of your brain size would probably believe we came from monkeys…and quite frankly, you are probably the best evidence that Evolutionists have that human beings came from a monkey. I’m still having problems teaching my dog 2+2=4. I hope to someday prove Darwinian philosophy and be able to have my dog recite Shakespeare to me. Then I will believe Evolution is true. Until then….its all a big damn joke. Charles Darwin went insane when he was 28 anyways (didn’t know that did you?) Let me put it this way to you concerning your bologna flying spaghetti monster. If we are created in the image of what you believe God to be, we would look like spaghetti. Common sense is a valuable asset. Lets try this…I’m going to go very sloooooowly for you Bobby. Retarded people…like Bobby Henderson….will burn in hell unless you give your life to Jesus Christ. Life is not hard. Neither is it a joke. But I believe that anybody with a brain the size of a peanut should be exposed for the fraud that the person is. Quite frankly, I do not know why I’m wasting my time…because you are probably too stupid to read this e-mail anyways. At any rate, I have better things to do than point out your circular reasoning within your arguments. You are a disgrace to anything that humanity or your stupid existentialistic philosophy represents.

Casey Powell

Severe Flamewar risk!!!

*update*

Unless you want to be sued, take my name off of that message.  Thanks.

Casey Powell

*update 2*

Just take the whole message off of the board!  I gave you no permission to
post that.  I want it off, or I will contact my lawyer.  And that is not a
joke.

Casey Powell

*note from Bobby * – I’m not going to take your name off the message.  However, I will henceforth refer to you as either C. Powell or Casey P. so that you remain anonymous.  Additionally, I’ll include your email address here, in case anyone needs to get in touch with you. *

jesusmarine2005@yahoo.com

The updates continue through #7, FYI.Flamewar! Don protective equipment!

So why am I posting that, legal threats and email and all? Because I want to siphon off some of this red-hot lava and reap the toasty, litigious benefits for Operation Global Media Domination on the ol’ raincoaster blog, that’s why.

Nobody’s threatened me in days! True, I did get mentioned in connection to a Plagiarist of the Year contest, but it was more in reference to me being ripped off than me ripping anyone off: I’m not eligible to win anything except smug satisfaction, and as everyone knows, I already have plenty of that.

His noodly appendage

Touched by his noodly appendage

A refresher, for anyone who is unacquainted with Pastafarianism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster and is unable to access Wikipedia because he or she is living in, say, Riyadh or, no, that won’t work, a world of his own imagination (yeah, that’ll work; that or his parents’ basement and he doesn’t want them to catch him online past his bedtime), Pastafarianism is the religion founded by a man who noticed that Creationists were using the law to force “equal time” teaching of their theory. He decided, with a self-reliance which would warm the cockles of L.Ron’s heart, if he weren’t dead, that he’d create a cockamamie religious theory and force that into the courts as well, perhaps (in)advertently showing the arbitrary and illogical nature of the Creationists‘ argument for equal time in the first place.

But it’s not like there’s no video.

You show me the Jesus YouTube; then we’ll talk.