Feast your eyes upon perhaps the greatest fucking goddam motivational sales video in the fucking history of the goddam fucking internets, brought to you by Defamer.
Seriously, I’m thinking that Arthur Miller scripted it and it’s some rough cut of an unreleased “Death of a Winnebago Salesman” project. Wikipedia begs for the update…
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I’m late on this, but I’m sure you’ll understand it took me some time to work through my feelings. Pavarotti was a greatly talented man, and perhaps the highest iteration of a particular type, ie the man possessed of immortal talent who doesn’t mind trotting it out at his Mom’s every damn Sunday dinner, or singing at a friend’s birthday party, or showing up for any benefit concert that will have him, provided they lay on the pasta spread.
And I love people like that. To the other, equally talented individuals who hoard their gifts as if they are MRE’s in the face of Katrina, we say: can I buy you an enema, darling?
Luciano Pavarotti, perhaps the greatest opera singer of the 20th Century, and disco diva/supermodel Grace Jones, at a benefit for Angola.
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Stolen from the Silliness.org blog, which got it from god-knows-where, same place we all got it from: the email hole.
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.SADDAM HUSSAIN (this used to be Hitler, then Qadaffi)
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.BILL GATES
I have just released chicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of chicken.EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?GEORGE W. BUSH
I don’t think I should have to answer that question.JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious?
Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it, the “other side”.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
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Did you ever watch James Brown dance and think “Man, how does he do that? How can one simple, mortal being make moves like that?”
Now at last, via Stiletto Girl, comes the answer.
It’s great when cops really enjoy their jobs, eh? Officer Friendly indeed, but yeah, not quite THAT Friendly. I’m relatively sure the World Wildlife Federation is petitioning to make his crotch a “protected watershed” and thus preserve the thousands of at-risk species which live there.
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Sex-ay!
Vintage come-hither shots passed along by devblog. Which PR company thought these would be a good idea, I wonder? Snopes sez:
“These images are actually publicity photos taken of the then 30-year-old Bill Gates coincident with the initial release of Microsoft Windows in 1985. The Corbis photo archive identifies their depiction thusly: “Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft, reclines on his desk in his office soon after the release of Windows 1.0. 1985 Bellevue, Washington, USA.” “
Actually, I’ve seen a lot worse. Been to Hunters and Gatherers yet? They’re doing for gay men what Fugly has done for ugly people; ripping them apart and laughing over the shredded remains. Actually, it’s just like being in a gay bar!
Strangely, I cannot actually find his Manhunt profile, nor lavalife, nor match.com; only MySpace. I feel so left out; nobody’s made a spoof MySpace for moi!
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raincoaster 