Ya wouldn’t normally a-thunkit, but the New York media establishment (or counterestablishment) whatever, the New York media hegemony (how I love that word), has today played a large part in keeping my most dearest, secretest, sweetest dreams alive, contrary to their traditionally dream-shattering ways.
This is public access tv host Alexyss K. Tylor discussing vagina power and penis addiction with her mother.
Seriously, would YOU talk to your mother like that? If I did, my mother would take notes!
Uh, this is really, really NSFW. Duh.
Lessons learned in this episode:
(Read AFTER you watch the video!)
– If the man ain’t comin’, he gonna be goin’ somewhere else, puttin’ his penis in someone else.
– A lot of women will laugh and talk about a man if his penis is small.
– Just because a man is in love with your vagina doesn’t mean he’s in love with you.
– A lot of us get caught up on the dick.
– Dick will make you slap somebody.
– The penis is a heat-seeking missile, like a rocket. Information is encoded in it making it do what it do.
– Men launch their penis up in the vaginal canal. As a woman relaxes and breathes and sits on that penis and rock and move and rotate and find her rhythm and go up and down and back and forth and around in a circle, she starts getting her groove back.
– When the parts of penis hit them vagina walls, harmonizing and making them sing, a woman feels like she’s in church jumping and shouting.
– Dick’ll make you lose control.
Well, he will if you ask him nicely. And then you can slap him; he likes it that way.
But seriously, what kinda church does this woman go to? I think I saw an Emmanuelle movie like that once…
It seems so long ago that legendary beauties Kate Moss and Sophie Dahl were discovered in England; things are apparently very different now.
Ladies and gentlemen, stop what you’re doing. While we have all been going mindlessly about our daily business, perhaps dropping a dime into a beggar’s cap, writing a cheque for Darfur, protesting the Iraq invasion,or tithing to Greenpeace, a silent crisis has been brewing in the United Kingdom.
Your dollars, your rubles, your rupiahs: they will not solve this terrible problem. Indeed, they seem to have pounds galore, more than they know how to spend properly: this commodity is more precious. Money cannot solve this. There is only one thing that can.
Gentle readers, click upon the link I shall give you, and as you do so, realize that in the land that gave the world the Spice Girls, this is what currently rents for £640 an hour. Keep the eyewash handy, people.
Book your flights now: do your part for England. Or at least, share your parts with England.
If you’ve ever made pathetic “he’s got a good set of lungs!” excuses for your unstoppably-squalling infant, you’ll enjoy this: Japanprobe reports on the annual Baby-Cry Sumo Contest.
Too late to enter for this year, but should you be currently pregnant and your gene pool blessed with good lungs and bad tempers, you might want to put the fetoid down for next year’s contest.
OMFG, that guy’s legpit has a double chin. What do you have to do to get the grownups to put some pants on?
Ya wouldn’t normally a-thunkit, but the New York media establishment (or counterestablishment) whatever, the New York media hegemony (how I love that word), has today played a large part in keeping my most dearest, secretest, sweetest dreams alive, contrary to their traditionally dream-shattering ways.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
raincoaster 