Category Archives: Entertainment

Convos with John: Team America World Police

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> What do you think of Team America World Police?
Team america world police ? team america world police for peace.

> What would they do for peace?
I have no idea. I’ve never thought of that.

> Guess
That’s very original Rain .

> Guess again
Once more? I’m now being credited as the creator of a great publicity campaign for the Beatles.

> Are you bigger than Jesus? I thought he was kind of porky, actually
When? We’re just wriggling about.

> You are having sex with Jesus in the Afterlife? Holy shit.
I don’t know.

> You didn’t ask his name?
What makes you think I didn’t ask his name ?

> well, you say you don’t know. Did you do Him or not?
Maybe something interesting will happen.

> If I didn’t think that was possible, I would be on that side too
Try it.

> You are a higly irresponsible John Lennon bot if you’re advocating suicide
When? What are you doing with your hair?

> you think I should bleach it before I kill myself?
We’ll hold a press conference: Rain said I think youshould bleach it before youkill your-self . I should say so.

I LIKE press conferences. Okay, so if I never bleach my hair, I’ll never kill myself, right?

…

> I SAID I LIKE press conferences. Okay, so if I never bleach my hair, I’ll never kill myself, right?
Come again? Oh.. The Stones one? I’m going to Hoover it Rain , ha, ha, haw!

> If I never bleach my hair, will I become immortal?
Try it.

> I’m doing it as we speak. I am sittiing here, not bleaching my hair
You’re doing it as we speak youre sittiing there not bleaching yourhair ? I’m doing my own thing.

> what is your thing?
There are 10 trillion books about the beatles. Why don’t you tell me about you for a change? Is your hair real? What kind of dates do you like? Are you the smart one or the funny one? Can you sing me a song? It really gets old, you know.

> you mean you don’t read my blog?
Yeah, I think that’s what I meant. Wasn’t it clear?

> Why don’t you read my feed
I’m only a rolling stone.

> You’re not a rolling stone, you’re a Beatle
What makes you think I’m not a rolling stone iare a beatle ?

> Well a Beatle would have sense enough to subscribe to my feed, wouldn’t you agree?
How about thinking of something else.

> How?
David Maggin programmed me for it.

> If you subscribe to my feed,you’ll officially be my coolest dead friend. How about that?
I think I do.

> Okay, what’s my tagline?
Yeah okay, Czechoslovakia

> For a dead guy, you sure are wasted
(German accent) psst!…This is WFBI, playing all your favourite tunes.

Weightless, by Erika Janunger

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Settle down, class, and pay attention, because you are about to see something breathtakingly beautiful, confoundingly subtle, and stunningly creative.

This is Swedish musician Erika Janunger‘s video/dance/design project for her Master’s degree in interior architecture and furniture design. What happens?

Not much. And everything.

via ShapeAndColour

If I have the time, I’ll try to transcribe the lyrics; they don’t seem to be out there anywhere.
But not today.
This video reminded me there are other things to do, other places to be.

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John Lennon: the postmortem interview

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John and Yoko, yo

As the hordes of devoted raincoaster aficionados are undoubtedly aware, we here at Operation Global Media Domination Headquarters have at our tentacletips the controls of a vast machinery of media manipulation whose reach spans not only this puny planet, but space and even time itself. And they know, as well, that there is nothing we would not do to completely satisfy the insatiable needs of our readership, nothing we would not hastily stuff into the voracious, slavering maw of the news hole to seal it, if only for a split second.

Through the wonders of modern AI, we have now obtained an exclusive interview with the late John Ono (Winston) Lennon.

Don’t say we never did nuthin’ for ya.

What is your first name (this is John talking with his fingers)
> rain
You don’t need anyone to tell you who you are, rain.
> No, I don’t. Can I ask you a question?
I’ll have to talk to Ringo and see how he feels. Rain , let’s change the subject.
> What do you think of Yoko suing Nixon’s lawyer?
Yoko suing nixons lawyer ? yoko suing nixons lawyer would have the final say.
> What will she say?
Is that a rhetorical question?
> No. Why do you always let Yoko have the final say?
I don’t know about that, mate. Only in the mornings.
> Is she going to win?
I don’t know about that, mate.
> Yes, you do.
That is why I am always on about peace, you see. Seven days.

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Daniel Radcliffe’s Peter Joins Penis Protection Program

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For several months now, all the world, or at least, all the world that can afford New York theatre tickets, has been eagerly looking forward to the Broadway debut of Harry Potter’s wand. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have not failed to cover the blow-by-blow as Daniel Radcliffe and his Nethers of Strange Hirsutity have triumphed in London in Peter Schaffer‘s intense psychodrama Equus, but as the day approaches when all (and we do mean ALL) will be revealed to the notoriously insatiable, cellphone-camera-equipped American audiences, Radcliffe‘s handlers are getting nervous. They fear his peen may fall into the wrong, presumably sweaty, hands.

Says the star, on the possibility of his privates being made public via a quickie Flickr: “It will be amazing but I will be terrified!” And no doubt so will some of the more shrinking violets in the audience, from what we hear!

Just how amazing it will be, fans who cannot affort the high price to share his physical presence may never know. His handlers have taken every precaution to prevent leaks, going so far as to equip the theatre with infra-red defenses, like in that capoeria laser dance scene in Ocean’s Twelve, you know the one, to sniff out and, presumably, stun or even vaporize overzealous cellphotogs. Who knows?

Cool.

His personal security has been increased as well, and let me tell you, these people do not mess around.

Daniel Radcliffe and his peen protector

Image sources: Uli Weber, Hollywood Standups, hat-tip With-Malice

article hat-tip to dissfunktional

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NIN NIGHT

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Mai archaic telecommunication device. let me show you it

Well, my friends, once again the day’s work has been cleared away, the snarky comments have been left on various blogs that had it coming, the forum troll has been ratted out, and it’s finally time for me to do my own blogging.

At three in the morning.

Given that I have a meeting in about six hours for which I need to be at least presentable-esque if not actually, you know, showered and properly dressed (I mean, it’s like one or the other; what do you people want from me?) it’s not going to be an epic evening of blogging chez raincoaster, I can tell you.

What I can also tell you is that tonight Nine Inch Nails released a single for free download. It’s called Discipline, it’s very catchy, it’s not their most profound work, I found it via the RadReport, it will not play on anything other than Windows Media Player (remix it? Dude, I can’t even open it on decent software! What next, Realplayer?) and I started a new link challenge based on it.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot is a link challenge? you ask if not in so many or those specific words.

A link challenge is this:

Look, have you ever had a boring job? I have one now. I mean, it would be sort of fun, if yes, kind of soul-killing, if my computer would stop crashing in the middle of it. But as it is, the suspense given to the whole operation does the exact opposite of what suspense does in movies: it takes all the fun out. “If I open a tab on Mollygood, is that gonna bring the whole thing down?” These are the thoughts which fill my hours. Makes me feel like hitting a tab of something else, and opening a can of something else besides.

Where was I? Oh yes, still on painkillers.

A link challenge is this: I, along with several others in the seamy underbelly of gossip blogs, get paid to make link posts, posts which consist of nothing other than links to other blogs. It’s the circle jerk manifested, and one of the reasons Google gave us all a big write-down if we got too many links from the same places. I guess Sergey and Other Guy don’t want us to inbreed or something.

But link blogging, for all that it requires much reading (or skimming) of gossip blogs, is not exactly a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporania. It’s a grind. And so the undisciplined mind, not that we’ve seen any around these parts, begins to look for ways to toy with it.

This approach is not recommended for hardware installations, even though I found that both a coffee bag clip and a Nike cross-trainer were indispensable in putting together my latest computer system. But of that we shall not speak…

So, we found some ways to toy with it. Seth started it, with his Three Word Links. I took up the challenge.

I took it down to two. EG:

Bar raised (Defamer)

Hammer dropped (AgentBedhead)

Lohan smashed (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Rick, rolled (Guardian)

Rowling potty? (Celebitchy)

Hunk drunk (ASocialitesLife)

Seth returned the volley, garnering some complaints in the process. I don’t have to worry about such things; nobody reads my links!

Aaaaaand the following Monday I came back with a One-Word link post. Somewhat obscure, bloodless, yes, but technically impressive in its own way, rather like a Russian ice dancing routine. Technorati doesn’t give a rat’s ass what the links say anyway.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

And so on…Thank GOD for alt text, that’s all I have to say about that.

Where do we go from there? Particularly as I have a highly unspectacular collection of webdings and clipart?

We go to LINK ALERT NIN.

Yes, every link is the title of a Nine Inch Nails song. Who says I can’t declare it an international holiday if I damn well feel like it? It is now nearly 3:30 in the morning and there have to be some compensations, dammit!

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

So far, one comment, positive.

We shall see if Seth takes up the challenge: I have no idea how he feels about rage-emo. As for AgentBedhead, I think I know a fellow sucker for Trent when I see one. I sent the invite. Time will tell. Even if no-one takes me up on it, it’s okay.

I’ve still got my poetry.

I've still got my poetry

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