Oh, if only!
Hang on to your Elder Signs: it’s The Casting Call of Cthulhu, the eldritchiest ten-minute comedy short you’ve ever seen. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fear for your very sanity! But if you read this blog regularly, I’m sure you’re used to that.
Beverly Hills Cthulhu
Actually, contrary to what it says over on io9, Cthulhu does not need a perky blonde sidekick. He already has me!
Jenna MacNipperson (Cameron Diaz) is a spoiled daddy’s girl on vacation in Cancun. When her island-hopping party boat runs aground on the ancient city of R’lyeh, she accidentally awakens the slumbering Cthulhu (voiced by Terry Hatcher), The Thing which cannot be described. One look at MacNipperson’s Manolo Blahniks and Cthulhu knows they will be BFF – literally, for all eternity. From Cyclopean masonry and non-Euclidean architecture to Rodeo Drive and Hollywood afterparties, the world is their oyster as these two outrageous debutantes embark on the Final Shopping Spree.
Not to be bitchy about it, but Cameron Diaz is waaaaaay too old to play a debutante! Whereas me? I’m ageless, of course, just like Cthulhu himself!
Passed along by Hez via WipeYourFeet.
In related news, silverstar has passed this lovely image along from NurseMyra’s, but I can’t post it on the blog for fear of getting Adulted again. Nobody wants to see that happen!
I read Facebook so YOU don’t have to. And this is typical of the kind of thing I find there:
Grog Fest Inf’rm’tion Cap’n: Sort: Fleets:
Time and Port When: Hourrrr: Coordinates: Port City: Sarah Palin is one of the most accomplished public speakers of all time. Through her insightful remarks about the economy and foreign affairs, she has inspired a nation to incite world-wide change. On this day, we honor her pseudo-Minnesotan accent and bubbly energy.
How? Like this:
Eat your heart out, Kevin Costner! Stolen from Defamer, here are two dancing with fish videos, American style. I believe you’ve all seen it done English style, yes? There is also (in escalating order of insanity) the Filipino fish dance, the Nigerian fish dance, Greek fish dance, Brazilian fish dance, the Nine Inch Nails Nation fish dance, and the traditional Naked Canadian fish dance.
First, robotically-enhanced animated anime figure Olivia Munn from Attack of the Show, trying and failing to perform a sexy duet with (in order) a trout (doesn’t look that old to me), a salmon (no word on if it was pink), and, in her pièce de résistance (and longtime readers will have seen this – so to speak – coming), a Squid.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Next up, a long-forgotten starlet shimmys with another cold fish in this clip from the transcendant Vixen
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Violence. The word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favourite mantle still remains – sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled.
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