Social Media User of the Day: The Bronx Zoo Cobra

Yes. Yes, it is. Have you heard the tale of the fugitive Bronx Zoo  cobra? It just got a whole lot more interesting.

Bronx Zoo cobra, you are the perfect hero for our times. Crawl strong, crawl free!

emo gossip linkage

If only my parents had bought me this when I was little!

If only my parents had bought me this when I was little!

Okay so judging by the computer clock I have 12.5 minutes to finish this post and get it up, which may give you a hint why most of my posts seem rather … thin … lately. I have to jam them all up before the web cafe closes or walk several miles in the rain to get to the nearest 24 hour cafe and then pay another $2 for lousy coffee or $5 in the case of the nearest cafe, which has a two-drink minimum and NO I AM NOT EVEN JOKING so is it any wonder I’m having an emo breakdown? It’s only Monday by a few minutes and I’m already three days behind in posts.

So let me tell you about the time I had an emo meltdown on my one and only celebrity follower. Well, I have some celebrity journalists following me, thank god, because validation from writers better than one’s self is always welcome, but I have only one Actual Movie Star Follower, and that’s John Cusack. I’d tell you about him, but I don’t have time and you DO have google, so knock yourselves out.

It happened after I’d stayed up too long liveblogging Japan (for which I did get on the front page of Google for “Japanese Earthquake” for a time at least; I do think I did a good job, but GOD who can blog that for long without going ever so slightly insane, eh? I ask yez) two nights in a row and gotten an email from a friend in Hawaii mentioning the two quakes he’d had while he was replying to my email of a few minutes ago. Oh, swell.

Then I heard about the reactors.

That’s about when I DM’d my one and only Genuine Celebrity Follower, a man I know through conversations of about 420 characters total. And nothing is to be deduced from that purely coincidental number.

And what did I say to this near-stranger? “Do you ever have one of those days when you think the end of the world is actually here already?”

So, yeah, I’m apparently That Fan. Mother would be so proud.

On that note, here are your emo links for an early Monday morning. I should drink more, at least I’m a happy drunk.

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The history of Puppy Mills

It's a dog's life.

It's a dog's life.

The Rules of the Universe dictate that for every kitteh post we post a puppeh post. Oh, and if reading the harsh truths about the conversion of excess pettitude into electricity so you can watch Two and a Half Men in comfort shocks you, there’s also this:

Om nom nom Pom

Om nom nom Pom

Olympic Demonstration Sports 2012: Cat Bowling

cat bowl

Image by dotpolka via Flickr

Since the Vancouver Winter Olympics wrapped, everyone has been looking forward to the Summer Olympics to be held in London in 2012. One of the most exciting aspects of any Olympics is the small list of as-yet-unapproved sports on trial runs as Exhibition sports; if they pass the audition, they may be blessed by the Olympic Committee Fairies and grow up to become Real Olympic Sports.

The greatest of these is Cat Bowling. BEHOLD.

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Flower Hat Unicorn Chaser

Flower Hat Mouse makes it all better

Flower Hat Mouse makes it all better

If that doesn’t cure the situation in Japan, nothing will.

Oh.