Category Archives: Humour

Servicey Sunday!

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Southeast Asian Sea Life: Memorize and BE PREPARED

Southeast Asian Sea Life: Memorize and BE PREPARED

I hope that clears up any confusion about spotting the mimic octopus in the wild. Simply put: you can’t.

If you wonder, on occasion, why this blog is quite so tentactular, think about this; the Mimic Octopus was discovered in 1998 off the coast of Sulawesi. In 1997 I was swimming in the ocean off the coast of Sulawesi and THESE THINGS WERE DOWN THERE, probably looking like other things or like no things at all but they were DOWN THERE THE WHOLE TIME BEING STEALTHY AND WE DIDN’T KNOW IT.

Goddam.

Seriously, this is why I don’t swim anymore. Who needs aliens when we have cephalopods?

When Worlds Collide!!!

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Emma Watson and Cameron Adams/Hermione Granger and Himmione Grainghim

Emma Watson and Cameron Adams/Hermione Granger and Himmione Grainghim

via Gawker

This right here? This is the streams crossing. This is the polarity reversing back on itself and swallowing its own tail. This, my friends and stalkers, is the moment for which the celebrity-internet culture was made. Even if it did mortify one of them into deleting his Twitter account (after tweeting a no-doubt-heartfelt “Awkward!“).

This is a picture of fresh-faced ingenue Emma Watson and her perky gay pornalike, Cameron Adams, who played Himmione Grainghim in the extremely NSFchirruns Whorry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls.

SFW no, but amusing, yes. Yes, yes, YES!

From commenter JamesFromCambridge comes this positively magical trailer.

And I’m spent! If you’re not, toddle over to that comments section on Gawker for the biggest damn roundup of filthy Potter puns this side of Repressed Housewife Fanficdom!

Or you could just click past the jump and read some more gossip, if you’ve got the endurance! Once more into the breeches!

Continue reading →

Keep Calm and Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

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Keep Calm and Hail Cthulhu

Keep Calm and Hail Cthulhu

I think this will look very nice painted on the wall of my new place. over and over. in human blood.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

Word up, yo.

on the existence of Tumblr, of Hogwarts, and of Awesomeness

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Oft and oft have I been asked the purpose of that oblique, self-referential sphere of the interwebs known as Tumblr. And as oft as I have been asked, I have either answered or have asked for cash dollars upfront. But here, ladies and gentlemen and the undecided, here at last is the justification for tumblr, laid out as plainly as the schnozz on your pan. This, my friends, cannot be topped, not even by Jake Gyllenhaal on a late and sloppy Friday night.

Enjoy?

 

 

If you got a letter saying you were accepted at Hogwarts:

acciodroobles:

You’d look up from whatever you were doing like:

You would then spend the next couple of days like:

You would then go to diagon alley and you’d be all like:

You’d go from shop to shop like:

Then, on september 1st you’d run through the barrier on platform 9 3/4 like:

You’d meet people on the hogwarts express like:

You would realise they’re just like you and you’d be all like:

Then you would jam for the rest of the year like:

THIS post right here? This is what Tumblr was invented for.

Happy Canada Day 2011!

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Canada Day Eh. Now worth more than America Day.

Canada Day Eh. Now worth more than America Day.

Take that, bitchez!

While my cousins drive down to Fort Windsor and check to see that the cannons are still working, I’ll be heading up to the DEW Line to make sure no wiseass loonbat troublemaker is coming over the border from Alaska to get their greedy, Republican mitts on any of our delicious, free healthcare.

Play them off, William! Fucking! Shatner! Who better to update that hoary old classic than this h – you know what? Forget I said that. Enjoy your refreshed national anthem, Canuckistan!

 

William Shatner’s Oh Canada (via Neatorama)

Oh Canada,  our home and native land
ON native land
true patriot love
of same sex partnership
in all our sons’ command
and our daughters’
with glowing hearts
like ET
we see thee rise
the true north, strong and free
free healthcare … all this is … NEW!
from far and wide
redundant
Oh Canada
BIG SMILE
we stand on guard for thee
God keep our land
all gods or, or, or no god
glorious and free
free of smog
Oh Canada we stand on guard
for
thee.

Oh Canada we stand on guard
guard yourself from frostbite
for th-
it’s all … I don’t even know what we’re doing here
thee.

Canada, it’s an honour. You’re fabulous.