breaking news: Cheney’s missing fingers located!

Cheney Bush puppet

Reuters has the full report, but surely this is no suprise to anyone who’s been following the US political situation for the past seven years.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – President George W. Bush had five polyps removed during a routine colon cancer test…

Acting Emperor Doctor Evil Dick Cheney had no comment.

He refused to remove his right hand from inside his jacket.

He likewise refused all requests to drink a glass of water while the President was speaking.

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stop the clash of civilizations

because it worked so well with Mexico

Mission Accomplished-er

Looks like Mission Accomplished is about to get a bit more Accomplished-er as the US military force takes a page from the pornopropaganda piece 300 to bring peace to shattered and splintered Baghdad by…

building a big wall.

The US military is building a three-mile concrete wall in the centre of Baghdad along the most murderous faultline between Sunni and Shia Muslims.

The wall, which recognises the reality of the hardening sectarian divide in Baghdad, is a central part of George Bush‘s final push to pacify the capital. Work began on April 10 under cover of darkness and is due for completion by the end of the month.

The highly symbolic wall has evoked comparisons to the barriers dividing Protestants and Catholics in Belfast and Israelis and Palestinians along the length of the West Bank.

And, of course, East and West Germany. You know the Americans are proud of this initiative. That “work began under cover of darkness” thing might be significant…wait, where have we heard that before? Hmmm, what do you say? Sounds to me like the missing Berlin Wall might just be in the process of being “re-purposed.”

No word on whether they’re using Persians as mortar.

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300 spoofs!

Say hello to the world’s crabbiest geography teacher:

This! Is! Spartaaaaaaaa! 

 And a new meme is born.

Thanks to engtech for these: a thread consisting of nothing but dozens upon dozens of joke 300 images. You’d think the man would have something better to do than feed my obsession, but apparently not. We could all learn from his example.

Xerxes is big pimpin'

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the secret to Sparta’s success

Pride, baby, Pride (in the name of love)! via Defamer.

At first I thought so straight
I was horrified
Kept thinking I could never love
that way, or flaunt my Pride
But I spent so many fights
thinking how Persia done us wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to get it on
You got my back
You share my space
I just woke up to find you dead
and Persians all over the place
I should have killed that damn Xerxes
I would have had him on his knees
If I had thought for just one second
he’d be robbing me of thee!

Gloria Gaynor lyrics over the hjump.

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