Category Archives: murder

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

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Happy Thanksgiving, all right-thinking people! Here is a pretty accurate video portraying the differences between how Canadians and Americans celebrate this weekend’s momentous event, Canadian Thanksgiving.

Seriously, can you imagine what it’s like to be forced to give thanks for sharing a country with Celine Dion? The American response would be welcomed as a sweet release.

If you’re in Vancouver and single and thinking you’d enjoy the taste of tradition but not willing to go through the whole Turkey For One routine, then get down to Steamrollers (not a paid placement, neither in gold nor in burritos, alas, although retroactive bribes are ALWAYS acceptable) and buy their Thanksgiving burritos. They’ve got turkey, a strip of cranberry sauce, stuffing, and mashed potatoes with gravy, all prepared without trans fats and rolled up into a reheatable bundle. There’s apparently a guy in Yaletown who orders several flats of them, freezes them, and has one a week all year. I would, if I had: a) the money b) a freezer.

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Best. Facebook. Thread. Ever.

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Best Facebook Thread Ever in history

Best Facebook Thread Ever in history

Thanks, Archie, for the image!

and for those of you who prefer text: (I have the feeling this will go around the internet a couple of times)

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Bitter Feast: Revenge is a dish best served cold

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Chef Death

I forget who said that, and am far too lazy to google it, but s/he could well have been talking to the victim of this particular food blogger. Allow me to present (yes, our third YouTube in a row, but it’s too good to pass up) the trailer for Bitter Feast, the tale of one chef’s revenge on a whorish, mean-spirited, lowest-common-denominator pandering food blogger:

via ManoloFood, which says:

The film centers around celebrity chef Peter Gray whose career is ostensibly ruined by a scathing review on the ficticious food blog “Gastropunks.” When Chef Gray is fired (by none other than Mario Batali in a cameo as a restaurant owner improbably named Gordon), he exacts revenge, taking the blogger hostage and torturing him in a series of Food Network worthy extreme cooking challenges. If the blogger can cook a perfect over easy egg, he can eat it; if not  he’s got egg on his face — literally and delivered by way of a sizzling frying pan to the noggin.

Which is (bear with me here) funny. Before you run off screaming and accusing me of being all coldblooded Eating Raul and such, listen up. And think up. Think: do you know any food bloggers? You do, don’t you? And those food bloggers…are they big ol’ meanies like this Gastropunk here, or are they perhaps a little more on the pander-to-Yelp-for-possible-kickbacks-I-MEAN-SPONTANEOUS-GOOD-TREATMENT side? I know many food bloggers, quite a few of whom are fair and principled, and quite a LOT of whom are more interested in pandering to chefs and managers than in pandering to mere readers. Which is to say that disinterestedly critical food blogs are a rare phenomenon, and that this movie isn’t just fiction: it’s speculative fiction, something like a Cuisinart Jurassic Park.

Can you IMAGINE what things would be like if there were, say, an island of truly snarky, untamed bloggers roaming free? It’d be like…Manhattan!

I couldn’t find any “what kind of food critic are you” quizzes, but I did find a Personality Disorder test, a What Nut Are You quiz (you MUST be one, if you’re a blogger, right?), What Herb Are You (I’d rather be Kiki!), and What Taste Are You (you’ll have to ask my ex). So, enjoy?


You Are a Pistachio


You are funky, freaky, and a total character.

You’re very different than anyone you know.

There’s no way you’re changing the way you are…

Which is good, because no one wants you to change.

You Are Cinnamon


You are intelligent and complex. You are both mild mannered and intense.

You are passionate to the point of being overpowering. People can’t ignore your presence.

You are always questioning and learning in your life. You’re on a bit of a spiritual journey.

You are drawn toward power and success. You are never quite satisfied with your achievements.

You Are Bitter


You aren’t bitter at the world, even though you have a strong personality.

Instead, you are sophisticated and cultured. You appreciate acquired tastes.

You are very powerful. You have the ability to change a room’s energy.

While some may find you disagreeable, your points of view are intelligent and interesting.
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CSI Shebeen Club: Monday, March 15th

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Cross-posted from The Shebeen Club to get some more bangs for my bucks. To get the most bangs for your bucks, you should buy me drinks on a day I’ve just broken up with someone.

But there…I’ve said too much.

Vancouver Police Museum morgue by John Biehler

Interested in writing crime fiction or mystery novels but feeling unprepared for conveying the fine details of investigation and forensics? Join Chris Mathieson, Executive Director of the Vancouver Police Museum, as he introduces you to policing and the forensic sciences. Bring your questions, and he’ll do his best to answer them.

The Vancouver Police Museum is an independent non-profit organization and registered charity dedicated to telling the history of lawlessness and law enforcement in Vancouver. It also happens to be housed in Vancouver’s former city morgue and Analyst’s lab. In addition to its many popular programs for children, it also offers adult oriented tours on the history of vice crime (Sins of the City) and has recently announced a workshop series called “Forensics for Adults” that explores topics such as forensic pathology, blood spatter and ballistics.

About our presenter: In addition to being Executive Director of the Police Museum, Chris has also been a blacksmith, a philosopher, a university mascot and a neuroscientist. Mind you, he claims not to be as interesting as that sounds.

Chris Mathieson of the Vancouver Police Museum

The Dirty Deets:

7pm-9pm Monday, March 15th, that’s this coming Monday

The Shebeen, Behind the Irish Heather at 212 Carrall Street in Gastown

$20 buys you dinner and one drink, preregistration is not required but please do bring cash. We have the back corner of the Shebeen reserved for us.

See you then! Surgical masks and latex gloves optional.

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George Sodini’s blog: the plan

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George Sodini, the LA Fitness shooter

Yes, George Sodini, the LA Fitness Shooter. I’m going to preface this with a great big I THINK THIS IS FAKE. This is my first impression, on reading it and looking at it (one awfully plain HTML site, with not a whole lotta content NOT related to the plan to kill people at a Pittsburgh gym). The only content on that site not related to the plan looks like a thin attempt to “backdate” it and make it look like this was a long time coming. I say either he didn’t do this site and some quick-thinking opportunist who wanted to perpetrate a fraud took his best shot, OR he did do it in order to set up some kind of pity defense. Not only does the emptiness of the majority of the site ring hollow, but there is nothing personally identifying there which hasn’t already been exposed elsewhere. I’m not seeing any actual images of his personal possessions, environment, etc. All the photos but the one of him are nondescript LA shots that could have been taken by/from anyone/where.

That said, here for the record, is the plan page of the site, copied (with permission!!! Look at the footer) from the site. I forget how to look up who registered a URL and when, but I’ll check that out as soon as it comes to me.

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