Happy Birthday, Margaret Thatcher

Zombies among us!

Zombies Among Us!


Width 666. I love that.
Hugh Muir here stole the words right out of my mouth:

Finally, quite a few people have been in touch to wish Margaret Hilda Thatcher a happy 85th – notwithstanding her bout of flu, from which we wish her a speedy recovery. They point out that on her birthday the news was full of stories about the courage and fortitude of miners. They seemed to enjoy the juxtaposition. Funny how things turn out.

And, of course, Elvis Costello.

I saw a newspaper picture from the political
campaign
A woman was kissing a child, who was obviously
in pain
She spills with compassion, as that young child’s
face in her hands she grips
Can you imagine all that greed and avarice
coming down on that child’s lips Well I hope I don’t die too soon
I pray the Lord my soul to save
Oh I’ll be a good boy, I’m trying so hard to behave
Because there’s one thing I know, I’d like to live
long enough to savour
That’s when they finally put you in the ground
I’ll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down

When England was the whore of the world
Margeret [sic] was her madam
And the future looked as bright and as clear as
the black tarmacadam
Well I hope that she sleeps well at night, isn’t
haunted by every tiny detail
‘Cos when she held that lovely face in her hands
all she thought of was betrayal

And now the cynical ones say that it all ends
the same in the long run
Try telling that to the desperate father who just
squeezed the life from his only son
And how it’s only voices in your head and
dreams you never dreamt
Try telling him the subtle difference between
justice and contempt
Try telling me she isn’t angry with this pitiful
discontent
When they flaunt it in your face as you line up
for punishment
And then expect you to say “Thank you”
straighten up, look proud and pleased
Because you’ve only got the symptoms, you
haven’t got the whole disease
Just like a schoolboy, whose head’s like a tin-can
filled up with dreams then poured down
the drain
Try telling that to the boys on both sides, being
blown to bits or beaten and maimed
Who takes all the glory and none of the shame

Well I hope you live long now, I pray the Lord
your soul to keep
I think I’ll be going before we fold our arms
and start to weep
I never thought for a moment that human life
could be so cheap
‘Cos when they finally put you in the ground
They’ll stand there laughing and tramp the
dirt down

UPDATE: Now, with extra bitterness, via Facebook:

Frankie Boyle on TV just now:

I hear there’s a debate over whether Thatcher should be given a state funeral. The only debate most people I know are having us whether she needs to be dead before we bury her. Three million quid to bury that woman? For that money we could buy everyone in the country a shovel and dig a hole deep enough to hand her over to Satan personally.

 

Stitch a Squid (via Stitch London Blog)

In a shockingly unreported event which has doubtless been suppressed by the Meerkat Media Hegemony, we have just discovered that on August 27, Squid invaded the London Natural History Museum. Here’s the report from the fearless Stitch London Blog.

Stitch a Squid at the Natural History Museum: in pictures Stitch London hit the main hall of London’s Natural History Museum on 27 August in an attempt to bring a shoal of stitched squid to life. Amongst the dinosaur bones, stuffed beasts and birds, and fine fossils the stitched squid storm raged. We witnessed the safe capture of the Stitched Sealife Six. Read More

via Stitch London Blog

Bart Meets Banksy

Two of my favorite men, together again for the first time.

I always wondered what happened to old unicorns. Now I know. Gee, Korea looks an awful lot like the workshops of Isengard. They should invest in a few orc suites and hook up some LOTR fanboy tourism!

And now, because I am pimping them out all over the place, here are my gossip links for today:

Sarah Jessica Feedbag (Ayyyy)
Robert Pattinson Pantsless (CelebrityBeehive)
Crazy Little Thing Called Rehab (raincoaster)
Kate Winslet’s latest is straight to DVD (Lolebrity)
M. Knight Shamalamadingdong feels your pain (AgentBedhead)
Cougartown: population one more (BusyBeeBlogger)
Daniel Radcliffe likes ‘em bendy (CeleBitchy)
Kim Kardashian airs out her implants (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Carrie Fisher had the best ice connection on the whole Ice Planet (CelebritySmack)
Killer shoes (CityRag)
Someone has a HUGHe crush (CojoStyle)
Times are tough in single land (DailyStab)
Banksy in Springfield (DListed)
Hugh can dance if he wants to (HaveUHeard)
Bill and Ted’s adventure now somewhat mediocre (INeedMyFix)
Juggalo no-no (PerezHilton)
Lady Gaga goes to Jersey (SeriouslyOMG)

 

RIP Week, TGIF!

Ashes to Ashes, Beer to Pee

Ashes to Ashes, Beer to Pee

This week is over. Let’s raise a glass of … frankly, anything handy; I’m not fussy… to that!

And now, your Friday gossip link roundup:

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Shadow of a Superstar (Ayyyy)
Katherine Heigl gets the new Colonic Facial (CelebrityBeehive)
Herman. Pee-Wee Herman. (Lolebrity)
Fresh, free-range Hamm (Gawker)
War Dog of the Week (Warning: sappy) (ForeignPolicy)
That’s no lady! (AgentBedhead)
Two minutes and thirty-nine seconds with James Franco (AmyGrindhouse)
Dolph Lundgren is just asking for it (BusyBeeBlogger)
Dora the Explorer on the rocks (CeleBitchy)
Lindsay Lohan is not such a twit anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Kim Kardashian’s snack tray holds a drink (CelebritySmack)
Britney weaned the kids off Cosmos (CityRag)
Cojo vs Ronald McDonald (CojoStyle)
Amy Winehouse crashes a lap (CrazyDaysAndNights)
Wino has “something” up her nose (INeedMyFix)
I SAID, Pull up yo damn pants! (Crunk&Disorderly)
Awww, I bet on Aeschylus (DailyStab)
Sienna Miller loves dressing up in Grandma’s outfits (DListed)
Is Renee Zellweger Bridget Jones or Jennifer Aniston? (EvilBeet)
Gooooood morning, Republicans! (HaveUHeard)
Snooki is a lobster racist! (IBBB)
80′s cartoon trivia quiz (LitelySalted)
Grover stars in new Old Spice campaign (MovieLine)
Amy Winehouse’s Taxi Driver (PerezHilton)
Weird celebrity fetish news (SeriouslyOMG)
Creepy celebrity dolls (ASL)

Soon, I’ll have enough time to do more than just linkposts! Because if there’s some reason I’m too busy to do them, I will hunt that reason down and I will stab it in the eyeball with a chopstick. I promise.

Quiz: what kind of celebrity would you be?

Well, OBVIOUSLY!


You Would Be a Witty Celebrity


There’s a good chance that your big break would come from being funny. You have a well crafted sense of humor.

And while you may branch out into other areas, your cutting insight and sarcasm would always be your trademark.

As a celebrity, you would not be afraid of publicity stunts and working the press a little. You wouldn’t take any of it very seriously.

You’d be a celebrity in the mold of Tina Fey, Sara Silverman, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell.

Angels are devils (raincoaster)
Lady Gaga is an ape (Ayyyy)
Survival tips for meeting the savage Naomi Campbell (CelebrityBeehive)
The end of civilization as we know it (AgentBedhead)
This will probably be the most beautiful child ever made (BusyBeeBlogger)
Some fine DNA dodged a bullet with this one (CeleBitchy)
Meanwhile, Gisele is spreading hers around (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Hairless ape has, yes, another book deal (DailyStab)
This is like crossing a Shetland Pony and a Mastodon (HaveUHeard)
Vestigal celebutard, the last of its species, manages to survive (INeedMyFix)
RIP James Dean (Lolebrity)
Former child stars butt heads to establish dominance (PerezHilton)
For conspiracy fans: The Midwich Rockers Approacheth! (PregnancyFashion)