Category Archives: Operation Global Media Domination

Just what it sounds like. My quest to conquer the global media and take over the world. Maybe I can get my library fines cancelled…what can I say? It’s a last-ditch effort.

Operation Global Media Domination: The SurveyMagnet Edition

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Total Information Awareness

Scientia est Potentia

Well, it’s been a bang-up start to the weekend what with all the pointless internet drama and all. There may only be three commenters, but they’re refreshing their screens like maniacs to see if I’ve replied yet. Well, if McDonalds can say “it’s all parts” I guess I can reconcile myself to “it’s all pageviews” but it’s still rather lowering the standard around here. At least the Albanian trolls were fun.

But this isn’t a post about that! Oh no! No indeedy! It is a post about my interview going live on SurveyMagnet. This was originally scheduled for weeks and weeks ago, but a two month medical leave rather puts a crimp in such self-promotional activities. Anyway, the interview is up, and I’m happy to promote it here, particularly because it’s all about Lolebrity, a blog I’m trying to pimp out to a positively JonBenet-ian level.

A snippet:

4) What is the craziest/most interesting exchange you’ve seen in your blog comments and why?

Well, there are very few comments on Lolebrity, except for the pervs looking for more Miley Cyrus boobs, but on another of my sites I did once get into a flamewar with the nation of Albania, and when it comes to the dialogue on the existence of fairies in Devonshire, well, I’ve got a corner on the market, with over 2000 comments on that particular raincoaster.com post.

Well, what are you still doing here? Go over there and read the damn thing; how am I supposed to get famous if you don’t? Eh?

 

Operation Global Media Domination: The Cusack Effect

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GO on, John, rt anything!

John Cusack will rt anything!

 

I was gonna let it go. Gosh, you know raincoaster by now: never one to make a fuss over a celebrity, or drop a name (which reminds me, I owe a blog post to my old sparring partner and blog buddy, Boris Johnson, Mayor of London).

But.

I.

Just.

Can’t.

You know how it is when it’s over; when something that you once counted upon, day in and day out, dries up and crumbles to ashes, then blows away, leaving nothing more than a giant hole in your stats chart?

 

 

Google, didn't we once mean something to each other? I'm even using Chrome!

Google, didn't we once mean something to each other? I'm even using Chrome!

 

Yeah, like that. So that’s how it’s been chez raincoaster lately, now that Google has dumped me (in an apparently bottomless pit). But I’m not bitter. Not me! No, I’m completely SO over that.

And you know how a situation like this, a dumping followed by a deep depression (just LOOK at it! like I spend hours a day doing…but I’m OVER it, I’m telling you!) can often lead to what is known as a rebound relationship? Well, I’ve got one, and it’s even better than Google and its millions of mindless robots. It’s got a mind of its own (to say the least, and I’ve said a great deal more on the subject from time to time).

Well, I’ve found my rebound: John Fucking Cusack. Suck it, Google. Even The Sister dm’d her congratulations; it’s like I got engaged or something!

 

That’s right. The Artist Formerly Known as Shockozulu, John Cusack, who is being followed by 262,116 people, is Following 85 people.

One of them is me.

Then he rt’d my post about Paul Newman three times and this happened.

 

The Cusack Effect

The Cusack Effect

 

Can’t touch this.

Operation Global Media Domination: the celebrity situation

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You can’t touch this.
http://twitter.com/#!/raincoaster/status/27594335937
No, seriously, you can’t touch this.
http://twitter.com/#!/johncusack/status/27595857284
Because it’s pixels on a computer monitor, silly.

And also because it was followed by two DMs and a Follow from @johncusack, but it’s cool. It’s no big deal. Because I’m not That Creepy Fan. Nope, not me.

Guess the Goth (Ayyyy)
Bieber-bashing, a sport for the whole famdamily!(CelebrityBeehive)
Jerry Lewis has the secret to happiness (raincoaster)
Vladimir Putin vs Conde Nasty (Lolebrity)
Cthulhu vs Jackass (AgentBedhead)
As god is my witness, I thought NFL has-beens could fly(BusyBeeBlogger)
Celine Dion is keeping her fingers AND legs crossed (CeleBitchy)
Mad Men spoilers don’t make ME angry (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)
Death to Duckface! (CityRag)
By the ghost of Auntie Grizelda!!! (SeriouslyOMG)
Latoya is a vision…(Cojostyle)
Tyra Banks kidnaps teen sex addict? (DailyStab)
Fembot popstar NO this isn’t about Pussycat Dolls (DListed)
Yes, Colin, we still remember the Britney thing (LaineyGossip)
Save the boobies!!! (INeedMyFix)
Kate Hudson with a pretty dress and a face full of Botox(JustJared)
Johnny Depp continues path to canonization (PerezHilton)
Cindy Crawford is still Cindy Freaking Crawford (PopBytes)

Quiz: what kind of celebrity would you be?

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Well, OBVIOUSLY!


You Would Be a Witty Celebrity


There’s a good chance that your big break would come from being funny. You have a well crafted sense of humor.

And while you may branch out into other areas, your cutting insight and sarcasm would always be your trademark.

As a celebrity, you would not be afraid of publicity stunts and working the press a little. You wouldn’t take any of it very seriously.

You’d be a celebrity in the mold of Tina Fey, Sara Silverman, Seth Rogen, and Will Ferrell.

Angels are devils (raincoaster)
Lady Gaga is an ape (Ayyyy)
Survival tips for meeting the savage Naomi Campbell (CelebrityBeehive)
The end of civilization as we know it (AgentBedhead)
This will probably be the most beautiful child ever made (BusyBeeBlogger)
Some fine DNA dodged a bullet with this one (CeleBitchy)
Meanwhile, Gisele is spreading hers around (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Hairless ape has, yes, another book deal (DailyStab)
This is like crossing a Shetland Pony and a Mastodon (HaveUHeard)
Vestigal celebutard, the last of its species, manages to survive (INeedMyFix)
RIP James Dean (Lolebrity)
Former child stars butt heads to establish dominance (PerezHilton)
For conspiracy fans: The Midwich Rockers Approacheth! (PregnancyFashion)

Operation Global Media Domination: the Cocktail Situation

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As someone who knows me (all too) well said, now I will be utterly impossible to live with: It will totally go to my head (or at least two or three of them will):

So there you have it: not only did Social Media Club Vancouver have a totally successful Meet the Geek dinner tonight (superthanks to Melody Fury of Vancouver Food Tour) but Operation Global Media Domination got the ultimate accolade: a tribute in booze and nomenclature. Can there be any higher? I think not! And not just because I’ve been drinking!

So, there you have it: a raincoaster cocktail is:

1 oz Gin (Hendricks, Plymouth, Broker’s, Old Raj, Beefeater)

0.5 oz Lillet Blanc

0.5 oz Cointreau

0.5 oz Fresh Lemon Juice

barspoon of Absinthe

stir, strain, add lemon zest (and Jay Jones always adds a great wide swath; none of your chintzy ribbons for him!).

Then, if you’re like me, you show it off to everyone at the bar and offer them sips of “your” cocktail and then before you or anyone who didn’t yet get a sip knows it, you’re staring into the bottom of your beautiful, vintage cocktail glass with the chipped gold rim, and there’s nothing down there but lemon zest and the dregs of regret. Ah, socialism! Perhaps I should cultivate a fondness for vodka instead?

Dorothy Parker, who really looks more Doloresy here

Dorothy Parker, who really looks more Doloresy here