mummified fairy remains found!!!

This is totally legit.

dead fairy closeup

In news bound to rock doctrinaire Evolutionistas everywhere, another set of ancient fairy remains has been found. Assiduous readers of the ol’ raincoaster blog will recall our original reporting on the fossil fairy of Coney Island, which we broke to the larger world several months ago, much to the consternation of the scientific orthodoxy.

Now comes breaking news from Derbyshire, via Neatorama, that the mummified remains of several authentic flower fairies have been located in a barrow somewhere in the countryside. The exact site is being kept secret for obvious reasons; there is no knowing what shameful lengths the charlatans in lab coats might go to in order to erase this stunning blow to their orthodoxy.

The proof is undeniable:

dead fairy autopsy

The 2inch remains complete with wings; skin, teeth, and flowing red hair have been examined by anthropologists and forensic experts who can confirm that the body is genuine. X-rays of the “fairy” reveal an anatomically identical skeleton to that of a child. The bones, however, are hollow like those of a bird making them particularly light. The puzzling presence of a navel evne suggests that the beings reproduce the same as humans despite the absence of reproductive organs.

Well, I’d like to see what the “scientific community” can set against that kind of proof, eh? Try your darndest, you godless heathens! Just look at that photo; it’s even got a Police Evidence Bag and latex gloves! You can’t get much more official than that! Ha! I say again, HA!

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the Right Honourable Dr Gordon Brown MP, Chancellor of the Exchequer, picks his nose and eats it

That’s basically it. Gordon Brown, Chancellor (=Finance Minister), sits on-camera behind Tony Blair on the day he is to present his new budget and slowly and methodically picks his nose and eats it, over a period of two excruciatingly long minutes. Quite frankly, I couldn’t make it all the way to the end; I thought he was going to break through to his brain case any second. Maybe he thinks it comes under “recycling” and is a new green initiative?

Hat tip to Guido, who put the creative choice of soundtrack to it and who’s been up to much interesting stuff while I’ve been quietly starving from lack of Internet and fattening foods.

Note to self: juice fasts make me homicidally enraged. Remember to fast before confronting enemies; also, can hide the bodies in my now-baggy clothes.

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the Spaghetti Harvest, 2007

The Spaghetti Harvest 

Yes, the BBC did a groundbreaking documentary on the Swiss spaghetti farming industry back in 1957 (crappy Realplayer version here), but that’s soooo 20th Century. Here is an update on an independent spaghetti farmer working the family farm in New Jersey, and his valiant fight against corporate Big Spaghetti.

and remember, if you want to grow your own, just follow the advice of the BBC:

“place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best“

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MC Rove

This video is the most definitive exhibition of white boy cool in the history of white boys. Come on, admit it you demented Republican rednecks:

Karl Rove looks about as cool as an undermedicated and spastic special education lifer performing in the inpatient pageant.

Also, this has inspired some marvelous comments on YouTube, such as the below, to which we can add nothing.

toddlerh (1 hour ago)

Karl Rove is simply adorable. I hope he’s this funny at his war-crimes tribunal and in federal prison.

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the return of eteraz

Oh! Oh!I was going to change these lyrics, but they’re pretty much perfect as-is, except for that unfortunate side effect of dating me severely. Uh, I learned the theme to Welcome Back Kotter on Nick at Nite, okay?

In any case, eteraz was one of the first people who got a Welcome to the Blogroll post here at the ol’ raincoaster blog, a worthwhile activity we have since become to lazy to keep up, so it is only right and fitting that we give him a big hand upon his inevitable return from the massive eteraz.org project to the ranks of us personal rant bloggers. Blogs are just crack for cheap people; once a blogger, always a blogger.

Welcome Back, Eteraz

Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.

Who’d have thought they’d lead ya (Who’d have thought they’d lead ya)
Back here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve got him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

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