Category Archives: sad

The Vegan Anthem: a challenge and war cry!

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First, some motivational music. Preeeeeee-senting the Arrogant Worms performing their breakout hit (Arrogant Worm nerds: no backtalk, please) Carrot Juice is Murder. Stolen from Seismic Twitch, and cross-posted in a couple of days to TeenyManolo. Lyrics over the jump, philosophical thesis statement, below.

And now, to the debate.

I’d like to introduce as a concept the proposition that quality of life impingements can be a justification for euthanasia. Now, I’m just saying that it is widely accepted that, if one’s quality of life were to decline to a point at which one could not move freely, think clearly, or make oneself understood with the inherent dignity which is humankind’s birthright, a painless form of euthanasia is an option which the majority of people believe should be made available to one within the framework of the law.

Example: Britney Spears.

Evil Pumpkin

Furthermore, I would like to suggest that, as we exterminate zombies not so much because they are zombies but rather as a tribute to the vast gap between who they are now and the humans that they once were, so, too, we should look at the principle of falling-somewhat-short-of-humanity as it applies to other life forms, such as vegetables.

They’re vegetables.

There, I said it.

Not only are they vegetables, but they have no hope of becoming anything else within their lifetimes, free-roaming creative raw foodists who are dab hands with a smoothie notwithstanding.

Conclusion:

We should do our part. We should find the vegetables, wherever they are, and we should put them out of their suffering. We should do it now.

Animals, on the other hand, have no difficulty moving around and comporting themselves with greater elan than your typical celebutard. Like the inspirational blogger BeastFeaster, sworn to consume 52 species of the Animal Kingdom in 52 weeks, I’m switching to a renewable flesh-based diet. Perhaps I shall consume only limbs amputated on the field of battle, as a kind of recycling initiative.

Meat: the responsible choice. the moral choice. the only choice.

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Fairy found alive in South Africa!

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Fairies Oberon and Titania

Long has the mystery of the elusive and entrancing fairy perplexed some of the greatest minds in the Western World.

Whether known as fairies, Little People, sidhe, elves, or Faerie(ii or y, for teenage Livejournalers only), they have fascinated our preeminent literary figures as well as those whose interests lie in the purely scientific, theists of the most extreme sort, and atheists likewise.

Truly, there is no corner of the human imagination into which they have not penetrated.

Various proofs were brought forward and each, in turn, mocked. Fossilized fairies. Mummified fairies. Even, in the ultimate legitimization that Western society offers, Retailed Fairies (free shipping to Neverland).

Each fell before the catcalls of the disbelievers.

Now, at last, positive photographic proof of the existence of fairies has emerged from the Dark Continent. This crystal-clear shot of a fairy conducting a conversation with two friendly meerkats is the first hint we’ve had of the so-called “Special Relationship” between the two species. Long have the inscrutable meerkat race been suspected of magical qualities, and now we have conclusive proof of the nature of that intercourse with the spiritual world within our own.

Let the naysayers mock if they dare!

Fairy and Meerkats

This remarkable scientific document deservedly won special commendation in the behaviour (mammals) category in the prestigious Shell Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition, hosted by the UK’s Natural History Museum, and it comes to us direct from the not-at-all-given-to-mere-sentimentality-except-Polly-Toynbee-who-can’t-think-anyway Guardian newspaper. It was taken by Shem Compion on South Africa’s Tswalu Kalahari reserve, which is no doubt shortly to become a mecca for sidhezoologists from around the globe. Book your flight now: airplane optional!

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Optimus Prime is gay, too!

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Dumbledore is gay

Now that Albus Dumbledore has been thrust out of the closet, brutally outed live onstage at Carnegie Hall (surely every closety fellow’s worst nightmare, especially if the ghost of Judy is watching) it seems the ripple effect is rocking not a few boats in the world of children’s entertainment.

One that’s particularly rocky is the Transformer di Tutti Transformers, Optimus Prime. A word of warning: the following video contains cringe-inducing self-doubt, blindingly obvious truths unacknowledged, and a narcissistic self-absorption entirely at odds with a typical childhood perception of the hitherto entirely macho Opti. Click at own risk…to your own childhood dreams, and the thinnest closet door in the whole flimsy Dream Factory.

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quiz: what should you be when you grow up?

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Yeah, for the sake of the world I hope most people aren’t taking this quiz’s advice. How would you like ME to be your proctologist? Detective, I could almost see, what with me being so nosy and all; while I was in pre-med, I bailed when I realized that, should I fail to get into med school, I’d have to become some run of the mill biologist, and I’m soooo not into that. Mind you, if I could specialize in cryptozoology, that might almost be worth it. Still, with the friends I have, it’s almost as if I already do!


You Should Be a Doctor


You are practical, sharp, and very intuitive.

Optimistic and energetic, you are a problem solver who doesn’t get discouraged easily.

You are also quite compassionate and caring. You make people feel hopeful.

You’re highly adaptable and capable. You do well with almost any curve ball life throws at you.You do best when you:

– Are always learning new subjects

– Use your knowledge to solve problems

You would also be a good therapist or detective.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

i can has cheezburger too

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Coconut Crab

What I can’t have is a moment’s peace from the insatiable paparazzi.  This shot was emailed to me by a friend in the high desert who recognized this outrageous breach of my privacy.