killer snails on the move!

Giant African Snails. Icky, icky poo!They are coming…

The snail made a splash as it entered the sea. To drown or to be eaten alive? the professor wondered. He was waist-deep when he stumbled, waist-deep but head under when the snail crashed down upon him, and he realized as the thousands of pairs of teeth began to gnaw at his back, that his fate was both to drown and to be chewed to death.

(Patricia Highsmith, The Quest for Blank Claveringi)

Cool!

via Fark. I have that story in an ancient and mouldy Alfred Hitchcock anthology, and an excellent and creeptastic suspense-filled read it is, too. Everyone loves to watch a bore get what’s really coming to him, no matter how long it takes to get there.

It appears if he lives in Barbados, it’s already arrived. AP reports on the invasion of Giant African snails:

A breed of giant, ravenous snails that first appeared in Barbados five years ago has thrived on the tropical island, destroying crops and prompting calls for the government to eliminate the slimy pests…

“We saw snails riding on each other’s backs and moving in clusters,” said David Walrond, chairman of the local emergency response office that organized 60 volunteers for the hunt…

Ah, but were they the hunters or the quarry, my friend? Let us hope that these comparatively peaceable, although potentially fatal and certainly voracious, snails never call upon their aquatic cousins, the deadly Cone Snails, one of the most poisonous creatures to crawl across the beslimed and horror-struck face of the planet. One message carried through the briny vastness to Rl’yeh and an army of vengence could be unleashed!

In fact, they may already be on their way, streaming towards Barbados by the thousands.

Just. Very. Slowly.

now boarding, at gate 666

“saw this and thought of you”

My friends send me the sweetest little notes. The packages they’re attached to, however…

Presenting the Mad Scientist Laughing Contest, from Helsinki, Finland, proud home to one of the highest rates of Seasonal Affective Disorder in the world. Here, we can see the tragic consequences.

Operation Global Media Domination: ATTENTION READERS!!!

Michael J. Fox, foxWhichever one of you came here through a search for “why michael j. fox pleasures his fans,” you need to talk to me, baby.

What did you hear, when did you hear it, who has he pleasured, and, most importantly, how is he?

< tastelessness > some of us have been looking for a way to combine the perfect man and the perfect vibrator for a very long time < / endtastelessness >

PSA: Brunch for Breast Cancer

Save These 

Brunch For Breast Cancer
The ‘Save These’ Girls Calendar Launch Party

(the must-give Christmas present this year)

May 1st 2006. Halifax Nova Scotia.
Four amazing Canadian men in the spirit and passion for the cause set off on an epic 8000 km longboarding trip across Canada raising money and awareness for a cure to this insidious disease.

Push for the Cure (Carlos Koppen, Benjamin Jordan, Rob Lewis and Aaron Jackson) has heightnened awareness in a unique way.

They have brought home a realisation and deeper understanding in men for the much-loved women in their lives. In addition to raising over $40,000 for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

October 9th 2006. Vancouver BC. Poppy D, freelance photographer and friends welcome them with fundraising events and a showcase/auction of the unique and beautiful images, The ‘Save These’ Girls.

October 16th The ‘Save These’ Girls calender is born. 12 images 12 months and the “must give” Christmas present of the year.

November 12th, You’re cordially invited to join us for the launch party ‘Brunch for Breast Cancer’. Meet the girls, buy the calendar, view the exhibit, and enjoy the divine cuisine and terroir of Cassis Bistro.

Dress for the this fun and social afternoon soire of Brunch and Bucks Fizz!

The “save these” calender will be on display at Cassis Bistro for the next month.

Launch Party Details:

When: Sunday November 12th, 12-6pm

Where: Cassis Bistro, 420 W.Pender

RSVP: Poppy D 778.316.2545
      Mark Graham 778.322.9474

Websites: poppyd.mosaicglobe.com
www.pushforthecure.com
www.cassisvancovuer.com

why don’t Americans vote?

bizarre, yes, but I'm supporting the magic eight ball, myself

They really don’t, you know. More Iraqis vote than Americans, as a percentage of the population. Iran has a higher rate of participation in the democratic process. So do 128 other countries. So WTF is up with Americans?

Compare U.S. voting with foreign voting and it’s not a pretty sight. Americans are less apt to vote than are people in other old democracies, in new ones, in dangerous places, dirt poor ones, freezing cold ones, stinking hot ones and highly dysfunctional ones.

Even that theocratic “axis of evil,” Iran, has bragging rights over the United States in this regard. So does chaotic Iraq, where an estimated 70 percent of voters cast ballots in December parliamentary elections.

They invented this process. Have they moved on to something else, discarding representative democracy like an outdated (but still superior to the alternatives) Betamax player? If so, what can it be? Looking at the current model, I’d have to invent a new term; as the British have a Constitutional Monarchy, I’d have to say the Americans have a Constitutional Dictatorship. They also, apparently, have very little faith in the transparency and accuracy of the voting processes, although still more than the facts seem to justify.

vote, or liberty is history

The Pew Research Center says

They vote ­ but not always. Compared with Americans who regularly cast ballots, they are less engaged in politics. They are more likely to be bored with the political process and admit they often do not know enough about candidates to cast ballots. But they are crucial to Republican and Democratic fortunes in the Nov. 7 midterm elections.

They are the intermittent voters: Americans who are registered to vote but do not always make it to the polls. They differ significantly from those who vote regularly. For one thing, they’re less likely to be married than are regular voters. Intermittent voters also are more mistrustful of people compared with those who vote regularly. They also are less angry with government, though no less dissatisfied with President Bush than are regular voters, according to a survey conducted Sept. 21-Oct. 4 among 1,804 adults by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press in collaboration with the Associated Press.

The survey also finds large differences between Americans who are not registered to vote or vote only rarely, and intermittent or regular voters. The two groups at the bottom of the voting participation scale are much less likely than regular or intermittent voters to believe that voting will make much of a difference. They also are less likely to agree with the statement: “I feel guilty when I don’t get a chance to vote.”

vote now. decide the dramaAmericans won’t vote if they don’t think it will get counted, and they won’t vote if they don’t like the options, and they won’t vote if the election process itself is typified by negative advertising.

So what will get them out to vote?

Golly gee, that’s a toughie. Probably this rather motivational video from South Park will work. It’s a spiffy initiative to encourage those kiddies to get out, engage proactively with the democratic process and the society in which they thrive, and cast their votes for the candidate they feel best represents their interests in Washington. And it speaks directly to the things that concern kids most nowadays.

It’s called Vote or Die.