Guess who wins?
This is an alternate ending from the 1965 Japanese B classic Frankenstein Conquers the World (Frankenstein vs Baragon), and it is predictably schlocky, amusing and poignant. I always cried when the monster died in these old movies, even if it wasn’t a Harryhausen.
But I still have no idea why Frankenstein grew to enormous size, nor how that Giant Land Octopus got to the top of Mount Fuji.
Already this year, Japan‘s embassy in Paris has had to repatriate at least four visitors — including two women who believed their hotel room was being bugged and there was a plot against them…cases include a man convinced he was the French “Sun King”, Louis XIV, and a woman who believed she was being attacked with microwaves…
Ch’yeah, it’s Paris’s fault. Look, I may not be the best example in the world, so don’t look at me (can you believe I just said that?) but lots and lots of people go to Paris every year and don’t end up baying at the moon or invading Russia. It don’t matter what the Journal du Dimanche says, Paris is infuriating, but it does not have quite the same effect as an overnight in Innsmouth. Let’s talk about pre-existing conditions, here.
Around a dozen Japanese tourists a year need psychological treatment after visiting Paris as the reality of unfriendly locals and scruffy streets clashes with their expectations, a newspaper reported on Sunday.
“A third of patients get better immediately, a third suffer relapses and the rest have psychoses,” Yousef Mahmoudia, a psychologist at the Hotel-Dieu hospital, next to Notre Dame cathedral, told the newspaper Journal du Dimanche.
Has anyone considered the possibility that Japan is simply offshoring a lot of unstable people recently?
I’d hate to be his soon-to-be widow, though.
Unless he’s like, really, really rich. And ugly. Which he’s not. Okay, so I’d also hate to be Laird Hamilton‘s soon-to-be widow; I’m projecting a bit, but sue me; it’s my fantasy, okay?
So this is what Mike Parsons does when he’s bored. As Gerry Lopez says, “Now, let’s just pause and examine this…waves so big you can’t paddle in; you’ve got to be towed in by jet ski. Think about that.”
If he had, he’d never have found himself on this incredible wave at Cortez Banks, 150 miles off the coast of San Diego. Any good trigonometristes out there care to give me an estimate of the height of that thing?
Wave forms have fascinated me ever since I had a physics 
prof named Rotcod Swehttam (Doctor Matthews, backwards). It was a bit like having Dr. Who as your physics 100 instructor; he demonstrated wave theory with two fixed points and one fixed point by playing the violin (2) while playing a tiny organ (1) with his toes. My addiction was only strengthened by my subsequent reading of The Perfect Storm (did you know a rogue wave blew out the pilothouse windows of the Queen Mary, or that they are 92 feet above the water line? I shall carry that knowledge to my grave, and a fat lot of good it does me on ferry crossings) and my addiction to that place on the west side of Vancouver Island which shall remain nameless but which is referred to here as Not-Ucluelet.
So. Mike Parsons. Nuts. via Dully.
See for yourself:
I may as well give you what you want:
Seriously! And to think, when I started this blog I was getting incredulous “what, another post about Squid?” comments…
This is the list of searches that led to my blog today. You read the writing on the aquarium wall…
Search Views
prawn on treadmill 14
steve irwin death video 11
prawn on a treadmill 11
beautiful agony 9
prawns on a treadmill 6
beautiful agony sample 6
steve irwin dead video 5
prawns on treadmill 4
Steve Irwin‘s Death Video 4
And what is my top post for today, beating out perennial winner and cleanest-cut pornsite on the planet Beautiful Agony, everyone’s new fave morbid wank, the Steve Irwin Death Video Controversy, and the Dancing With Has-Beens Dream Team of Aleksy Vayner and Lucy Gao?
Shrimp on a motherfucking Treadmill.
So basically, if it swims it wins.
The Technorati Blogworth Calculator in the sidebar finally updated and gave me another ten thousand dollars in imaginary play money (the only kind with which I am familiar) so I shall not kill the link. Yet. In related OGMD news, I’ve been consistently namechecked on ABC due to the Foley transcript that I linked to which is on…ABC. I outrank them in their own site.
I do not know what WordPress is doing, but I hope they keep on doing it, I tell you.
As well, I got some hits from CBS for snarking on Gao, which you can always depend on me to do, because I didn’t get to go to Oxford, and I’m not nearly such an ass, dammit, but I’m so over that now. That’s old news, but the Vayner saga, 
which I’ve mostly given a miss, has millions of people going “Gao, who is Gao?” at all the retro references and hitting the search engines. I’d rather own one douche than have a small piece of lots of them, so I’ve avoided much coverage of Vayner, laughable though he is (and by contrast Lucy Gao is really just callow, controlling and self-absorbed; she didn’t plagiarize a book on the Holocaust or invent pretend charities to head up). If he ends up getting busted with a converted schoolbus full of followers for some kind of cult murder I’ll be sorry, but until that time I shall sleep peacefully on this decision.
Oh shit, you don’t think he will, do you? Dayum…too late to jump aboard. The juggernaut has already left the station.
Allsorts: I don’t know who junaman is, but lots of people read him. He linked to my What is, like, up with Americans Megataco commercial and the next thing you know I have 117 hits! Well okay, I put the link into his comments section, Blog Pimping 101, but it’s proof that if you do that it had better be damn good, because the next time I checked the thread he’d gone and updated the post and given me the linkie luv. I don’t really mind making an ass of myself, but it feels so good when I don’t, ya know?
Also: won a cheap plastic token of appreciation on Defamer. Personally, I think that’s a terrible way to refer to Tara Reid, but we’ll let it go. The joke that won was an utterly filthy reference to a very obscure aspect of the Superman Kaldor mythology.
In related news, I’m right up there when you search for 
Celebrity Sex Tapes, courtesy of the Fondle Me Elmo furry YouTube I stole from Defamer. Again, I outrank the source; that’s what being dirty-minded when writing ledes will get you.
And the Osmond video link I posted to Gawker (Blog Pimping 101 again) seems to have gone slightly viral, ending up giving me double-digit hits from car racing forums for something that was actually recorded back before Donny was a solo act. Still, this was my good deed for the week, for yea verily, they rawked that shiat!
Okay, I’ve done double my normal weekly word count today and you’re no doubt thinking “Too much black, not enough modesty, biatch” but nyah nyah, Andy gave me my own domain, so there!
I always knew being a dictator would come naturally to me.
raincoaster 